Intuitive eating isn’t just for the woman at a “healthy weight.” Or for the woman who is underweight. It isn’t just for the woman who has restricted her food intake for however long or the woman who has had an eating disorder.
Intuitive eating is also for the woman who genuinely would like to lose weight for health reasons – meaning her weight is impacting her long term health. It’s for the woman who perhaps is above her body’s set point and wants to eat in a way that allows her body to settle into the weight it was genetically designed to be. That doesn’t necessarily mean she will be xyz weight by becoming an intuitive eater, there is health at every size, but it does mean she will find her happy weight that she can easily maintain and where she feels good.
But here’s the thing, weight loss is not the goal. Weight loss is never the goal.
Health is the goal.
And when health is the goal, the focus in on behaviors and not on numbers.
Intuitive eating is so much more than eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full. Intuitive eating is about honing into your body’s needs and eating foods that are both satisfying and physically nourishing. Intuitive eating is also about becoming aware of your needs, being able to identify those needs, and then being able to meet those needs appropriately. In our culture, often we use food to cope – whether it’s restriction or binging or emotional eating or another behavior – food is used as a coping mechanism.
Emotional eating is normal. Sometimes it happens and that’s okay. But when food is your only coping mechanism, that is when some more exploring can be helpful to determine what your body actually needs. Often it isn’t food.
Other challenges that stand in the way with intuitive also include disregarding how a food makes you feel physically, therefore overriding your body’s physical cues to the point of discomfort. Once in a while this will happen and that is okay. It’s part of enjoying food for more than physical nourishment, but when it happens frequently than that is perhaps something to become curious about and explore more. Intuitive eating isn’t about just eating what tastes good – of course eating satisfying foods is a huge part of becoming an intuitive eater – but learning your body and what makes it feel best is foundational to intuitive eating.
We live in a culture that expects instant gratification – it’s why the diet industry makes billions of dollars per year. It’s why there is a drug to “fix” anything. But just like insulin can’t heal diabetes, diets don’t heal food or health issues.
Intuitive eating is the way to long term, sustainable happiness, health and peace with food. But it takes a lot of work, there is a lot of gray area, and it’s a journey of ebb and flow where you are continuously learning more about yourself and your body. Myself included. There are days I overshoot my hunger and end up too full. There are times I’m tired or stressed and eat ice cream out of the pint in an emotional way. That’s okay. It’s not about perfection, it’s about consistency. But over time, as you learn what makes your body feel best and what foods are most satisfying and you eat in a way that both nourishes and satisfies, your body will let go of an unnecessary weight – it will eventually find it’s set point.
Because when you eat satisfying foods, the “what the hell, I’ll eat whatever I want” days dwindle, because you’ve given yourself permission to eat all foods at all times. Binging and overeating decreases because you’re not intentionally restricting calories or carbs or fats and you’re not mentally restricting certain foods. Eating to numb out feelings (which neglects your body’s physical needs) decreases because you’re in touch with your body’s actual needs and can respond to those needs appropriately. And from a physiological standpoint, stress dramatically decreases (which is a huge factor in finding your set point) when you release the pressure to adhere to xyz eating plan or exercise xyz way or not eat certain foods – and instead allow yourself to eat anything you want, whenever you want. Simply giving yourself permission to eat all foods makes previously “forbidden” foods less likely to be foods you overeat or binge on – because you know you can have them whenever you want. They can be eaten without shame or guilt. I tell clients it’s the “deglorification” of food.
There is nothing wrong with desiring to lose weight in order to find your body’s natural set point if your body is in a place where weight loss would be healthy and appropriate. But weight loss is never the goal. True health, body acceptance and peace with food is the goal – and it’s not contingent on a particular weight. Weight loss is a possible, yet not guaranteed, positive consequence of all the other healthy habits developed as you learn to live intuitively – practicing self care, sleeping well, moving in a way that feels good, eating foods that feel good. But it’s never the end goal.
Intuitive eating is a journey and you never really “arrive” – we aren’t perfect people. Instead you continue learning how to treat yourself with compassion + gentleness, withhold judgment, and take care of your body regardless of your pant size. And that is what I call healthy.
More books on this topic that I recommend are: