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Motherhood, Pregnancy, Self Care

Postpartum Recovery Essentials: Round 2

June 24, 2020 By Robyn 12 Comments

I had my last appointment with the UVA midwives at 30 weeks and then I transitioned care to a certified nurse-midwife who does home birth. On my list of “things I’ll never do” is home birth. I’d like to write a post on how we made our choice to have a home birth at some point because when Nick and I started processing home birth together, I wanted to hear from as many Western medicine providers who chose home birth as I possibly could. For some reason, knowing people who work in hospitals and help birth babies in hospitals (particularly OBGYNS) and also choose home birth really resonated with me. A few driving factors in our decision to switch from hospital to home:

  • the literature was conclusive & clear that for me, a second time mom with a low risk pregnancy who’s first birth was vaginal and uncomplicated, home birth was safe if not safer than the hospital (we also live less than a mile from UVA if we need the hospital which was a huge plus in our decision – living further could have swayed things)
  • I had the complete and non-hesitant support of both the nurse midwife I work with and also the UVA midwives -that meant a lot to me that they were immediately on board and supportive when I asked them their thoughts
  • Between COVID and having a toddler at home to consider childcare for with no family immediately around, I was really anxious about childcare for Cal and leaving him for a night or two – navigating the hospital and arranging logistics of overnight childcare didn’t leave ME feeling like the hospital was the safest place for me or where I would feel most at peace birthing

The farther I got along in this pregnancy, the more unsettling the hospital felt even though I loved the UVA midwives. As a first time mom with Cal, I 100000% felt safest & most at peace in the hospital with an OBGYN and had a really positive & empowering birth. I wouldn’t change a thing. I know that isn’t everyone’s story and I am really grateful for how his birth unfolded. I’ve also been reflecting a lot lately on his birth and my care this time around with everything currently going on in our world – it’s become clear to me that being white has, without a doubt, positively impacted my experience and health outcomes. I’ve been watching Giving Birth in America, a documentary put on by Every Mother Counts and CNN, and recommend it. I’m still sitting with, processing with others and praying about what actual action steps I can take to be a part of the solution to this massive gap between white and black maternal mortality. I feel like I’ve been learning for a while, but have been stagnant on the action front and I want to change that.

Given that we are planning for a home birth, if all goes as I hope, this baby will be born without drugs/medication through my vagina so that’s what I’m basing my postpartum recovery plan off of while also keeping in mind birth can go a zillion ways and having plan B (and C and D) in place if we need to transfer to the hospital and/or this baby needs to be born via Cesarean.

After recovering from a vaginal delivery once before where I ended up with a second degree tear, here is what I consider to be the essentials for the physical recovery and what I’m stocking up on in prep for baby 2 to arrive.

A REALLY GOOD PERI-BOTTLE

If you have your baby in the hospital, they will give you a peri-bottle that you can take home. I’m not sure about birth centers since I’ve never had a baby at a birth center. These peri-bottles do the job, but they aren’t great. If you can/want to, I highly recommend purchasing (or adding to your registry – no shame!) the Frida Mom peri bottle which has an angled spout and is 100000x more effective and easier to use. I didn’t want to wipe with toilet paper for a good couple of weeks so this was used A LOT.

PERINEAL BALM

A lot of women use perineal spray (which I’ll share next) but the Earth Mama perineal balm was my absolute favorite. It’s like a better smelling icy hot for your vagina and is postpartum healing magic! It might sound terrifying to apply a balm to your tender and healing perineum and you might be like, “where do I even put it?!” but trust me, it is so soothing for your tender lady parts. After about 5-7 days, I got the courage to stop using the spray and use the balm. Just apply a little to your finger and gently apply to your perineum – I didn’t use a mirror, but just kind of applied it all around down there. You could certainly get a mirror if you want! For an extra cooling effect, store it in the fridge. We lived in a tiny 700 sq foot apartment when Cal was born so our one bathroom was about 10 steps from our fridge. Our master bathroom and fridge are on different levels in our house in Charlottesville now, so I’m not sure I’ll be storing it in the fridge this time around….regardless, this balm is my must-have for postpartum healing and I send it to every new mom I know.

PERINEAL SPRAY

I used the Earth Mama perineal spray during the first several days home from the hospital when applying a balm felt way too scary with stitches and swelling down there. It’s nice to have, but not nearly as effective as the balm in my opinion. I bought a new bottle of spray this time around (when I bought it the price was $5.49 so I’m not sure why it’s jumped so much on Amazon since…) to have just in case since I’m not sure what the aftermath will be.

HERBAL SITZ BATH

When I was preparing for postpartum with Cal, the idea of making a bunch of padsicles was overwhelming to me. It was just one more thing to do and several different things to buy to do it. So what’s a padsicle? It’s basically a pad + ice pack all in one…here’s a good (and hilarious) post on how to make them if you’re interested. Instead I bought the 2 pack of this herbal sitz bath and would brew that (they are like giant tea bags) and after the liquid cooled, fill my peri bottle with it and use that instead of water. Then I’d put the leftover tea bags in the freezer and let them get almost frozen and shove those in my underwear with the lovely giant pads I wore in the beginning. I found that to be helpful if I was feeling extra sore. I only went through one box so I have the other box still left for this time around.

GIANT PADS

The hospital will give you these mega pads THE SIZE OF A 2×4 while you’re there along with the dreamy mesh panties (for real, those underwear are amazing) and those are great for the first 48 hours when your bleeding is bonkers. When I got home though, I didn’t need pads that were THAT BIG and so had stocked up on pads for home. I wanted a pad that would be the least irritating since I felt like the skin and area of my vagina and perineum that just pushed out a human would be very tender and delicate. So I indulged and bought some Rael pads off Amazon. I found them super breathable and gentle on my lady bits. I started off with the overnight pads and then as my lochia lessened, switched to the regular and then eventually to the panty liners. I bled for a good 6 weeks (maybe even 8?) so had to use the pads and panty liners for a while. I know some women who swear by adult diapers and skip the pads all together so do what feels best for you. This route worked great for me last time so I’m going with it again this time.

BLACK UNDERWEAR

Blood stains. Several pairs of basic black underwear are a must for me postpartum. I just bought these basic ones off Amazon that are inexpensive – it looks like they are out of stock now so I’ll find a similar kind for this time around since I still need to get some. With the pads, I didn’t really leak but just in case, the underwear are black anyways and not a huge investment so you can just pitch them afterward if you need.

MAGNESIUM TO POOP

I don’t find Colace effective so I decided with Cal and this time to continue taking the same magnesium postpartum I take pregnant for my restless legs to keep the bowels moving. That worked just fine and I pooped within the first 3-4 days after Cal’s birth. One trick that my doula shared with me to help you poop is to fold a small piece of toilet paper and place it on the palm of the hand you wipe with. When you think you have to poop, press the hand with the toilet paper gently against your perineum as if you’re taking some pressure off that area when you’re bearing down. That apparently relaxes all the muscles and tissues a bit more in that area and you don’t feel like you’re bearing down with so much pressure so you can relax and poop. It worked great for me, so hopefully that’s helpful for you too.

AFTEREASE FOR AFTERPAINS

Your uterus continues to contract down to its original size and expel blood clots for several days after birth. These typically occur when baby nurses because of the oxytocin release (the same hormone that caused your uterus to contract during labor) and they can be painful. I didn’t find afterpains that painful or frequent with Cal, but apparently they are worse with subsequent babies so I’m coming prepared this time. My midwife (and lots of other mamas) swear by the Afterease tincture. I have ibuprofen on hand too if I need (and will take it those first couple days for pain) but am hoping to mostly use the tincture after that since I don’t like to take ibuprofen if I can avoid it since it can be tough on your gut. I have no idea if there is research behind the Afterease so I’m not claiming it’s evidence based, but it seems to have very little if any harm and anecdotally seems promising.

A FEW OTHER THINGS FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH

I didn’t think much about my mental health postpartum with Cal, as a first time mom I was mainly focused on baby, logistics and physical healing. Thankfully, I had a really positive postpartum experience. But I’ve been thinking about my mental health A LOT more this go around since we are in the middle of a pandemic which means less socialization and less (if any) in person mom groups and meet ups. And I now have an 18 month old to simultaneously care for, so in a lot of ways postpartum this time around feels like uncharted territory.

Nick and I have had a lot of conversations around how he can support me best. I have contact info for a cleaning lady if we need it and will be utilizing Cal’s nanny who is also a postpartum doula if I need her – for childcare, housework, cooking etc, she does everything. Even with me furloughed for work the past few months, we’ve used her for occasional babysitting since I can’t take Cal to midwife appointments (thankfully she’s been so diligent with social distancing) and we love her. I really loved Cal’s birth and our first week post birth with just Nick, me and Cal so that’s what I’m planning for this go around – just our immediate family for that first week and then my mom will come for a while and then Nick’s parents. Thankfully, Virginia is about to enter into Phase 3 and so COVID isn’t making it impossible for our parents to come and that’s what I/we feel comfortable with. If our lives explode and we are drowning from day one, my mom can drive down from Indiana asap to be here and help us.

I’m planning on one mega Costco trip to stock us up on a lot of things so we aren’t running out to the store. I’ve also typed up Cal’s “routine” (more of a rhythm) so whoever is caring for him besides Nick has a rundown and I can initially be more hands off with him. It’s breaking my heart to know this likely will be a hard transition for him and I’ve thought so much about how I can be there for him emotionally and love him through this even when my physical capacity will be limited.

I have a weekly mom’s bible study I’m planning to continue when I feel ready (we’ve been meeting socially distanced outside and it’s been a great outlet for me) as a way to get out of the house 1x a week.

That’s my plan for postpartum round 2. I’m sure there will be adjustments, but it’s reassuring to know I’ve prepared the best I know how. I hope it’s helpful for you too!


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  • Navigating Postpartum RecoveryNavigating Postpartum Recovery

Filed Under: Motherhood, Pregnancy, Self Care

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Comments

  1. Amy says

    June 24, 2020 at 1:43 pm

    I felt no afterpains at all with my first son. With my second son, I felt intense cramping every single time he latched for the first few days. Your oldest son will love you and feel your love even if you feel like you are failing. Watching my two boys become best friends has been the very best part of being a mom. Best of luck to you!

    Reply
  2. Allison says

    June 24, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    Yessss the cramping during and after nursing with my second (just 3 weeks old!) was intense for the first week or so! It felt like labor all over again each time. Fortunately it has completely passed and I have no cramping and barely any bleeding left. All of these are great tips. I use the same brand for my nipple cream and it smells like chocolate because it’s mostly cocoa butter and I love it!

    Reply
  3. India says

    June 24, 2020 at 3:41 pm

    This post is absolutely amazing! I’m hoping to have a VBAC with my second, so I’m thankful to know of things that helped you all in one post. So excited for your birth!

    Reply
  4. Sarah Russell says

    June 24, 2020 at 4:31 pm

    This is awesome! So excited for you with this change. I had my first at home. She was an unexpected breech and we were still able to birth at home with no complications thanks to the support of our midwife team. I am expecting baby #2 any minute and we are so thrilled to be having a home birth again, especially since COVID-19 entered the picture. I pray that your home birth experience goes well and is a blessing to your family!

    Reply
  5. Savanna says

    June 24, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    Robyn, that is such exciting news! I had a hospital birth, then birth center, then home birth and now planning a home birth with my 4th. Birth is such an amazing thing! I have always been in sync with things you post and this hits the spot again. I love the spray, I will add the balm to my amazon cart now, I found stool softeners to cause me to be gassy instead of pooping so I use magnesium too, I absolutely wear depends for a couple of weeks and throw a padsicle in there when needed 🙂

    I thought more about mental health this time too and one if the things I did was create an amazon baby registry. I haven’t done a registry since my first, but we are now living over seas and didn’t bring any of our baby/postpartum things. I added a couple of books for ME- any Sally Clarkson ones I didn’t have and a couple others that would encourage me in this season. Those long hours of breastfeeding I knew I wanted something positive to reach for!

    As far as bonding, I would say emotionally on me as a mom going from one to two was hardest. Now please do not take that in a way that I’m reassuring your fears because I’d like to say that doesn’t have to be the case! I put unnecessary stress on myself and listened to other family comment on how sad that my little one wasn’t the only child anymore. This needs a lot of seeking God and looking clearly at the fact that most siblings never felt like they weren’t loved the same just because they had siblings. The Bible is clear that children are a blessing so if we can keep that understanding it’s less tempting to pity that children have siblings. It’s so exciting that Cal will have a best friend now for life! Praying for blessings in birth and postpartum for you. Can’t wait to hear your birth story!

    Reply
    • Savanna says

      June 24, 2020 at 6:57 pm

      Oh, and a tip I’ve learned for this time is to get a bottle warmer to keep in the bathroom and keep the peri bottle in it so you’re not having to remake it warm every time.

      Reply
  6. Claire says

    June 24, 2020 at 9:07 pm

    Congratulations, Robyn! Sending prayers your way for a safe and healthy birth next month! Question about your magnesium supplement…I’m currently breastfeeding baby #3 and take magnesium but would love to switch to the garden of life one you show here because the dose is perfect. I looked for it and noticed it has stevia, which I’ve never had while breastfeeding…what are your thoughts on stevia while nursing?

    Reply
  7. Elizabeth says

    June 27, 2020 at 6:58 pm

    I always wanted a home birth, but was never able to make it happen. I did have a few friends in Cville who did it, years ago. I hope you have a wonderful birth experience.

    Charlottesville has the highest infant mortality rate for black babies in the state of Virginia, despite the fact that UVA is there. It’s a disgraceful legacy that I wish UVA would try to remedy.

    Reply
  8. Amanda says

    June 30, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    Thank you so much for this post – I have a 21 month old son and I’m expecting our second boy in December and starting to think about all of this. Best of luck to you!! I would love a follow up post regarding what was super helpful once babe #2 has arrived and you’ve had some time to breathe and see clearly again!

    Reply
  9. celina williams says

    July 2, 2020 at 6:51 am

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  10. Lisa says

    July 3, 2020 at 1:01 am

    Love your content! I can feel the pain and troubles you are going thru especially it all happens in the middle of the COVID Pandemic. Stay strong and healthy.
    Just a recommendation, after you’re stable and you want to know a good weight loss or weight retaining program.
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    Reply
  11. Wendy Juicer says

    July 12, 2020 at 6:04 am

    I recently went through childbirth and would have benefited greatly from this advice if I had found it earlier. But I will recommend it to my friends who are pregnant. Funny isn’t it how many folks seems to be pregnant when you are. LOL. Seriously, this is good advice.

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

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🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 two babies are asleep at the same time in their beds (and not on me) for the FIRST TIME IN 7657 DAYS and dear lord I could cry tears of relief straight into this latte and bowl of chocolate chips bc I woke up this morning exhausted and weary and told Nick I didn’t want to parent today 🤣 Not even calling this self care. It’s sanity right now. And even if it lasts 5 minutes it will be 5 minutes of freaking glory. p.s. yes that brick is crooked bc v uneven floors are part of the charmed package of this old house
Learning over and over again in this season that f Learning over and over again in this season that feels unsettled and chaotic and longgggggg that sometimes, you just need the viewpoint of a toddler to remind you that the seemingly insignificant things & moments really are....straight up magical. And that yes, these mundane days are packed full of goodness & beauty if I keep my eyes fixed on what actually matters.
Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, wowww 🤯 Asked at least six people where to find something and their opinion on all the options bc holy decision fatigue. Nursed my newborn on the floor of the paint aisle. And BLESS my new contractor friend Matt I found in the lumber section that pushed my cart around and helped me avoid the mistake of buying exterior wood for some DIY bathroom shelves.
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I’m giving all our bathrooms a DIY makeover and I couldn’t be more of a rookie. So shoutout to all my Lowe’s buddies and YouTube 😜 You’re making this happen.
We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t plan to close on a house 10 weeks after having a baby, but here we are. And we are so, so grateful.  And I’m also terrified. We’ve moved three times and lived in three different states since we got married three years ago. After six years spent living in New York City and Boston, moving back to Charlottesville was really, really hard for me. I cried a lot those first six months because my heart ached for the northeast and for city life. I wanted to pack up and go back to Boston ASAP. It felt so different and so quiet here and at times, very lonely. Even though it felt like the next right step, I second guessed our decision A LOT.
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But here we are 10 months later ready to continue investing in this neighborhood we’ve come to love. And this community of people that have become so dear. Ten months later and it feels so, so right. And although committing to settling down here for a good bit feels really scary to me, it also brings so much peace to know we aren’t moving again anytime soon. We are here to plant and grow. And raise our babies in this house as we make it a home. It’s also really fun to have one of your best friends be your realtor. We love you @kelli.teter.nesting 🤗
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Now, to see if we make it out of this kitchen renovation all in one piece 🤪
my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in ghee with sautéed spinach (also in ghee) and an english muffin with more ghee + some sort of jam on half for that sweet & savory combo. we discovered these local english muffins (from The Bread Basket) and they are doughy and delicious and we are obsessed.
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I’ve found that I need a solid source of protein and lots of fat for breakfast to keep me full while breastfeeding this time around vs with Cal, I was so into big bowls of pb & chocolate chip banana oatmeal. just goes to show our bodies know what they need and change cravings accordingly. also, just a psa: go pick up the maple butter from @traderjoes bc it is bonkers 🤤 and lastly, shout out to my husband bc a lot of mornings he is making this bfast for me while I nurse & try to pull myself out of bed - don’t for a moment think I’ve got it together 🤪
I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brai I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brain of if/how to use this platform in a way that aligns with how I want to live my life. I’m finding it tricky to discern that when 90% of my use on this app is for professional purposes. But I’m not sure if even professionally, it makes sense for me. Because I feel more aligned with what matters to me when I’m not regularly present here.  I’m not really sure what things will look like moving forward, but for right now I’m here to share with you that I somehow found some spare minutes between newborn & toddler life to write a post with some semi-coherent thoughts on life lately. 🤪 You can head there by clicking the link in my profile.
I’ve been completely disconnected from social me I’ve been completely disconnected from social media and that’s been vital for me during this tender postpartum period of transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2. But today, I’m bopping on briefly to share how Teddy entered this wild world with you - if you’re into a lengthy, detailed birth story, the link in my profile will lead you to the blog post 💙
Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our famil Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our family at 12:48am on Wednesday after a quick and swift labor & birth at home 💙 Thank you Father for another healthy baby boy & your abundant, tender love for us. What an undeserved gift.
Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his due date, but also....LET’S GO DUDE. Still over here eating dates (check out the @ebbirth article on the research showing dates can help ripen (aka soften) your cervix, reduce the need for medical intervention in labor and can overall, improve birth outcomes) drinking red raspberry leaf tea and sleeping as much as possible with a 19 month old running around. And also trying to survive July in VA without public pools or splash pads bc it is BLAZIN HERE (and I’m a wuss with the heat 🤪)
#AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from ti #AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from tiny-apartment-city-living to house living is this screened in porch. This little oasis sold me on renting this house when we moved from Boston to Virginia back in November. I dreamed about this becoming our outdoor living room for at least half the year (because also, summer comes earlier and stays later down here - which has a its pros and cons 😆)  During Cal’s afternoon nap, I set up shop out here with my computer + something refreshing to drink and get a little bit of work done before my brain turns to mush and/or a find myself napping instead of working. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can only drink so much water during the hot months before I’m over it so I’ve been mixing it up with either seltzer + juice, iced tea or @alignprobiotic’s new Kombucha On-the-Go powder sticks - all you do is mix one of the packets into ice cold water and stir. Then sip!  With quarantine life, we aren’t on-the-go much these days, but it’s still nice to have a nonperishable drink option always around. Flavor wise, it’s like a fizzy iced tea with a zingy, refreshing lemon ginger flavor.  I think it’s important to know that not all probiotic supplements are created equal. They all aren’t backed by evidence, but the Align brand is and could be something helpful for you if you feel like you need some digestive support - but talk to your healthcare provider first. I try to incorporate probiotics into what I eat - and that mostly comes in drink vs food form. Tell me how you’re staying hydrated in the comments ...because these days, it’s the little things 🤪 #AlignProbiotic **Use as Directed
Lunches for the past month or so have been some re Lunches for the past month or so have been some rendition of a sandwich + chips + fruit. SUMMERTIME 😎I’ve switched to open faced only bc there just ain’t much room left in there for food at 38.5 weeks 🤰🏻90% of the time at the end of a meal, no matter how “small” the portion, I’m feeling stuffed and like the food is in my throat (just what you wanted to read on this lovely Tuesday afternoon 🤪) but my point here is...intuitive eating doesn’t mean find-the-perfect-fullness and eat-only-when-hungry. Sometimes it means eating when you’re not hungry and feeling overly full often and trying to eat foods lower in fiber and higher in calories.
Found this photo on my camera roll today from a wa Found this photo on my camera roll today from a walk I took a month or so ago. Between quarantine and spending my days with a toddler, life is much less hurried and a lot more mundane these days. But those two things are helping me to stop & notice and to chill out on checking things off my to do list and instead just being present with whatever is in front of me. I want to have the curiosity & wonder my 18 month old has as I go about my day - with my surroundings and people I encounter and really, everything. Life is way more meaningful that way. Ending my evening with that reminder and a white chocolate chip cinnamon blondie covered in vanilla ice cream before I go take an Epsom salt bath and read.

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