The Real Life RD

helping you find peace with food and your natural body size

  • the RD & NP
  • Online Courses
  • Women’s Wellness
  • Speaking
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • RSS
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
Body Image

It’s a Natural Desire to Want to Change Your Body [Body Image Resources]

October 24, 2018 By Robyn 13 Comments

Body image is one of the most challenging areas of work I’ve experienced both personally and professionally. And it makes sense. This work is HARD. It’s okay if you wish you lived in a different body. We live in a culture that values thinness, so it’s only natural to desire and want to work towards being better, fitter, and a “toned up” version of yourself. Since our earliest days, we have been taught to believe that we should feel shame about our body and overall appearance, that’s our default. So even entertaining the idea of not trying to change your body can feel wrong, unnatural and therefore scary.

Of course, changing our body can help us “feel better” because our culture praises appearance and tells us our self worth is built on our appearance. So when we feel like we are “fitting in” with what society deems acceptable, we will naturally feel better. But the thing is, these pursuits aren’t sustainable and they almost always lead to disappointment, more frustration and more unhappiness. These pursuits also distract us from things that truly matter to us…meaning they pull us away from our values. But we keep going back, hoping this time will be different. That’s the empty promise of the diet and beauty industry. They make so much money because ultimately, the consumer will remain unsatisfied or think THEY are the problem and so they will come back to continue the search for what will “work.” When you realize that trying to manipulate your body size doesn’t work (diets fail and changing your body doesn’t lead to long term happiness + fulfillment), it becomes easier to accept reality. And once you can accept reality and be with what is, then you can move forward and explore other options. But acceptance is key.

There are a lot of variations of what healthy body image actually means. To me, positive/healthy body image doesn’t mean loving your body. For myself and in the work I do with clients, the goal is to come to a less painful and perhaps overall peaceful place with your body so you can care for and appreciate your body, but not waste energy on unhelpful thoughts towards your body that take away from your ability to invest energy into living a meaningful life.

Less energy put towards unhelpful thoughts and struggle = more energy you can put towards creating a fulfilling, purposeful life. I’ve written a lot about body image over the years on the blog, but I wanted to share some of my favorite body image resources so you can grow your figurative tool box of resources. Some of these resources will resonate with you and some won’t – so take what does and leave what doesn’t.

Remember that this is hard work, you can’t think yourself to better body image…it takes effort with behavior and mindset changes and drawing boundaries in your life. Body image will ebb and flow in life, it’s not about never having a negative body image thought. We live in a culture that praises thinness, no matter how someone gets there, so you will have crappy body image thoughts that pop up. I still have them from time to time too. It’s not about not having the thoughts or arguing against whether they are true or not…rather it’s about experiencing less emotional pain and negativity, not attaching to thoughts and therefore struggling less with thoughts/emotions so they don’t suck your energy.

Books

The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris 

This book is one I cannot recommend enough. Similar to what I was writing about above, this book gives you skills and tools to help manage thoughts and emotions more effectively so you can reduce stress, worry, self doubt and insecurity and instead cultivate a rich and meaningful life.

Beautiful You by Rosie Molinary

Another book about radical self acceptance that is not about meditations and affirmations. It’s set up to give you daily action steps that help you work towards living a life you truly want to live and being your most authentic self. This book is geared towards women.

The Body Image Workbook 

If you’re someone who enjoys worksheets and putting pen to paper, I highly recommend this workbook. I use a lot of the exercises in my own 1:1 work with clients.

Body of Truth by Harriet Brown

If it’s harder for you to connect to your own body image struggles, sometimes it can be helpful to read about body image on a larger scale and how it affects our culture as a whole. That can sometimes be a place that feels easier to engage with for people. This is one of my favorite books on body image.

Compared to Who? by Heather Creekmore

In full disclosure, I have not read this book yet, but have heard many good things from others. If you’re looking for a Christian book on body image, this could be a good fit especially if you’re tired of hearing things like, “it’s about your inner beauty!” or “God says you’re beautiful!” If you do read this book, I’d love for you to email me and tell me what you think!

Videos

Have you hated your body enough today? by Michelle Elman

Rewiring how you look at yourself by Jenny Schatzle

Listening to shame by Brené Brown (not neccessarily about body image, but shame underlies much of our body image and food struggles)

The business of beauty is very ugly by Carrie Hammer

Is social media hurting your mental health? by Bailey Parnell

5 step daily practice for better body image by Kylie Mitchell

Articles and Blog Posts

The Grief That Leads to Body Acceptance by Rachael Hartley

You Don’t Have to Believe What You Think by Kylie Mitchell

What if Body Acceptance Doesn’t Work? What About Body Neutrality?

Understanding Body Image by Marci Evans

But I Don’t Want to Accept This Body by Anna Sweeney

Podcasts

Finding self worth and identity beyond food and body | Nutrition Matters podcast

How diet culture impacts our body image | The Body Love Project podcast

Body image, self compassion and “food addiction” | Don’t Salt My Game podcast

Food Pysch has loads of body image podcasts including this one on breaking free from body shame with Fiona Sutherland

Courses

Set Point Theory and Body Image by Kylie Mitchell

Cultivate Healthy Body Image – a module that you can purchase that’s part of a bigger course I created

Body Image Resilience by Beauty Redefined

Check out these resources as it feels right for where you are in your journey. Maybe start with one and sit with it for a week or two or longer if it’s a book. Read a little and let it sink in, journal about it, process it with a safe person. This journey is long and hard and painful at times, but it’s worth it.

I’d love to hear about your body image journey in the comments!


YOU MAY ALSO LIKE...

  • How to Overcome Fears Around Your Body ChangingHow to Overcome Fears Around Your Body Changing
  • How To Appreciate and Care For Your Changing BodyHow To Appreciate and Care For Your Changing Body
  • Should I Lose Weight? And Can I Lose Weight Without Dieting?Should I Lose Weight? And Can I Lose Weight Without Dieting?
  • Cultivating Positive Body ImageCultivating Positive Body Image

Filed Under: Body Image

« 5 Thoughts [an announcement + fertility encouragement]
Women’s Reproductive Health 101 »

Comments

  1. Amy says

    October 24, 2018 at 6:59 am

    Do you think it’s possible to work too hard on body image? I listen to podcasts and read blogs and surround myself with body positive social media, but sometimes I feel like it keeps me living in this body centered world rather than being able to think about something else. I’ve been in recovery from anorexia for over 8 years and just in the past year have really been working on accepting my new recovered body.

    Reply
  2. Julie says

    October 24, 2018 at 7:56 am

    Thank you so much for all of these resources, Robyn. I’m struggling with the weight gain I’m experiencing in recovery. This is very timely for me. Thank you for all that you do!

    Julie

    Reply
  3. Liz says

    October 24, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    This is JUST what I needed honestly ! Thank you so much for putting all of these resources in one place for us:-)

    Reply
  4. Mary says

    October 24, 2018 at 10:26 pm

    Thanks for all these resources. I LOVE Rachel Hartley’s post on Grief and Body Acceptance.
    Question: I have seen a lot recently about body image for women who are post-partum and is usually about accepting your body because it has accomplished great things in growing a baby. This explanation seems to imply that the body is not the way it ought to be, but “it’s ok because pregnancy”. I would like to see body acceptance that doesn’t need to explain why my body is the way it is. However, I’m conflicted because I think that acknowledging what your body has been through and expressing gratitude for what it can do is also be a helpful tool. What are your thoughts on this?

    Reply
  5. Mary says

    October 24, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    Thanks for all these resources. I LOVE Rachael Hartley’s post on Grief and Body Acceptance.
    Question: I have seen a lot recently about body image for women who are post-partum and is usually about accepting your body because it has accomplished great things in growing a baby. This explanation seems to imply that the body is not the way it ought to be, but “it’s ok because pregnancy”. I would like to see body acceptance that doesn’t need to explain why my body is the way it is. However, I’m conflicted because I think that acknowledging what your body has been through and expressing gratitude for what it can do is also be a helpful tool. What are your thoughts on this?

    Reply
    • Mary says

      October 24, 2018 at 10:28 pm

      oops! sorry that this posted twice 🙂

      Reply
  6. Kim says

    October 24, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    Thank you for this post and all these resources! Absolutely what I needed today. There are so many influences in the media that tend to lead me to be dissatisfied with my body-it’s so refreshing to have this website that counters that!

    Reply
  7. Emily Swanson says

    October 25, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    It is so so true that when we try to change our bodies it isn’t satisfying, because it just seems like the ideals of culture change very rapidly, and it’s seriously just too exhausting trying to change with all of it. I love just being able to embrace the way God made me now without worrying about a siz pack or even looking muscular. 🙂

    Reply
  8. Katherine says

    October 27, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    Incredible post!! I was saying “YES” to everything here!!! Thank you!

    Reply
  9. Angelo Lambert says

    March 2, 2019 at 9:00 am

    You have to lose your extra weight in order to improve your health and appearance. But sometimes, you fail to remove some layers of fat by performing a simple workout. Thankfully, there is a technique called laser body contouring using which you can get rid of stubborn fat. This treatment hardly takes 30 minutes for completion. Its non-invasive approach also give the same result in the end. Increased collagen production is another benefit associated with body contouring. The one who would like to improve his body appearance should take the advantage of body contouring.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Thinking Out Loud and Fab Fridays Friday Mix Up: Coffeeshop Talk + Resource Links - mylittletablespoon says:
    November 2, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    […] Women’s Reproductive Health 101 and It’s a Natural Desire To Want To Change Your Body […]

    Reply
  2. Positive Body Image Resources - Jenni the Wren says:
    December 13, 2018 at 9:58 am

    […] The Real Life RD […]

    Reply
  3. non-diet-resources-intuitive-eating-health-at-every-size says:
    August 1, 2019 at 11:38 am

    […] It’s a natural desire to want to change your body […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

More On Lady Hormones

How Birth Control Methods Affect Your Hormones, Period and Fertility

What Your Cervical Fluid Can Tell You About Your Reproductive Health

women's reproductive health

Women’s Reproductive Health 101

I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

Postpartum Hormones: what’s happening in your body and how to care for yourself

* indicates required

Categories

Get in Touch!

Follow Me!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

I talk a lot about moving, eating, and living intuitively so you can be well hormonally and live a fulfilling life in line with your values

The Real Life RD on Pinterest

Follow Me on Pinterest
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 two babies are asleep at the same time in their beds (and not on me) for the FIRST TIME IN 7657 DAYS and dear lord I could cry tears of relief straight into this latte and bowl of chocolate chips bc I woke up this morning exhausted and weary and told Nick I didn’t want to parent today 🤣 Not even calling this self care. It’s sanity right now. And even if it lasts 5 minutes it will be 5 minutes of freaking glory. p.s. yes that brick is crooked bc v uneven floors are part of the charmed package of this old house
Learning over and over again in this season that f Learning over and over again in this season that feels unsettled and chaotic and longgggggg that sometimes, you just need the viewpoint of a toddler to remind you that the seemingly insignificant things & moments really are....straight up magical. And that yes, these mundane days are packed full of goodness & beauty if I keep my eyes fixed on what actually matters.
Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, wowww 🤯 Asked at least six people where to find something and their opinion on all the options bc holy decision fatigue. Nursed my newborn on the floor of the paint aisle. And BLESS my new contractor friend Matt I found in the lumber section that pushed my cart around and helped me avoid the mistake of buying exterior wood for some DIY bathroom shelves.
.
I’m giving all our bathrooms a DIY makeover and I couldn’t be more of a rookie. So shoutout to all my Lowe’s buddies and YouTube 😜 You’re making this happen.
We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t plan to close on a house 10 weeks after having a baby, but here we are. And we are so, so grateful.  And I’m also terrified. We’ve moved three times and lived in three different states since we got married three years ago. After six years spent living in New York City and Boston, moving back to Charlottesville was really, really hard for me. I cried a lot those first six months because my heart ached for the northeast and for city life. I wanted to pack up and go back to Boston ASAP. It felt so different and so quiet here and at times, very lonely. Even though it felt like the next right step, I second guessed our decision A LOT.
.
But here we are 10 months later ready to continue investing in this neighborhood we’ve come to love. And this community of people that have become so dear. Ten months later and it feels so, so right. And although committing to settling down here for a good bit feels really scary to me, it also brings so much peace to know we aren’t moving again anytime soon. We are here to plant and grow. And raise our babies in this house as we make it a home. It’s also really fun to have one of your best friends be your realtor. We love you @kelli.teter.nesting 🤗
.
Now, to see if we make it out of this kitchen renovation all in one piece 🤪
my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in ghee with sautéed spinach (also in ghee) and an english muffin with more ghee + some sort of jam on half for that sweet & savory combo. we discovered these local english muffins (from The Bread Basket) and they are doughy and delicious and we are obsessed.
.
I’ve found that I need a solid source of protein and lots of fat for breakfast to keep me full while breastfeeding this time around vs with Cal, I was so into big bowls of pb & chocolate chip banana oatmeal. just goes to show our bodies know what they need and change cravings accordingly. also, just a psa: go pick up the maple butter from @traderjoes bc it is bonkers 🤤 and lastly, shout out to my husband bc a lot of mornings he is making this bfast for me while I nurse & try to pull myself out of bed - don’t for a moment think I’ve got it together 🤪
I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brai I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brain of if/how to use this platform in a way that aligns with how I want to live my life. I’m finding it tricky to discern that when 90% of my use on this app is for professional purposes. But I’m not sure if even professionally, it makes sense for me. Because I feel more aligned with what matters to me when I’m not regularly present here.  I’m not really sure what things will look like moving forward, but for right now I’m here to share with you that I somehow found some spare minutes between newborn & toddler life to write a post with some semi-coherent thoughts on life lately. 🤪 You can head there by clicking the link in my profile.
I’ve been completely disconnected from social me I’ve been completely disconnected from social media and that’s been vital for me during this tender postpartum period of transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2. But today, I’m bopping on briefly to share how Teddy entered this wild world with you - if you’re into a lengthy, detailed birth story, the link in my profile will lead you to the blog post 💙
Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our famil Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our family at 12:48am on Wednesday after a quick and swift labor & birth at home 💙 Thank you Father for another healthy baby boy & your abundant, tender love for us. What an undeserved gift.
Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his due date, but also....LET’S GO DUDE. Still over here eating dates (check out the @ebbirth article on the research showing dates can help ripen (aka soften) your cervix, reduce the need for medical intervention in labor and can overall, improve birth outcomes) drinking red raspberry leaf tea and sleeping as much as possible with a 19 month old running around. And also trying to survive July in VA without public pools or splash pads bc it is BLAZIN HERE (and I’m a wuss with the heat 🤪)
#AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from ti #AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from tiny-apartment-city-living to house living is this screened in porch. This little oasis sold me on renting this house when we moved from Boston to Virginia back in November. I dreamed about this becoming our outdoor living room for at least half the year (because also, summer comes earlier and stays later down here - which has a its pros and cons 😆)  During Cal’s afternoon nap, I set up shop out here with my computer + something refreshing to drink and get a little bit of work done before my brain turns to mush and/or a find myself napping instead of working. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can only drink so much water during the hot months before I’m over it so I’ve been mixing it up with either seltzer + juice, iced tea or @alignprobiotic’s new Kombucha On-the-Go powder sticks - all you do is mix one of the packets into ice cold water and stir. Then sip!  With quarantine life, we aren’t on-the-go much these days, but it’s still nice to have a nonperishable drink option always around. Flavor wise, it’s like a fizzy iced tea with a zingy, refreshing lemon ginger flavor.  I think it’s important to know that not all probiotic supplements are created equal. They all aren’t backed by evidence, but the Align brand is and could be something helpful for you if you feel like you need some digestive support - but talk to your healthcare provider first. I try to incorporate probiotics into what I eat - and that mostly comes in drink vs food form. Tell me how you’re staying hydrated in the comments ...because these days, it’s the little things 🤪 #AlignProbiotic **Use as Directed
Lunches for the past month or so have been some re Lunches for the past month or so have been some rendition of a sandwich + chips + fruit. SUMMERTIME 😎I’ve switched to open faced only bc there just ain’t much room left in there for food at 38.5 weeks 🤰🏻90% of the time at the end of a meal, no matter how “small” the portion, I’m feeling stuffed and like the food is in my throat (just what you wanted to read on this lovely Tuesday afternoon 🤪) but my point here is...intuitive eating doesn’t mean find-the-perfect-fullness and eat-only-when-hungry. Sometimes it means eating when you’re not hungry and feeling overly full often and trying to eat foods lower in fiber and higher in calories.
Found this photo on my camera roll today from a wa Found this photo on my camera roll today from a walk I took a month or so ago. Between quarantine and spending my days with a toddler, life is much less hurried and a lot more mundane these days. But those two things are helping me to stop & notice and to chill out on checking things off my to do list and instead just being present with whatever is in front of me. I want to have the curiosity & wonder my 18 month old has as I go about my day - with my surroundings and people I encounter and really, everything. Life is way more meaningful that way. Ending my evening with that reminder and a white chocolate chip cinnamon blondie covered in vanilla ice cream before I go take an Epsom salt bath and read.

Copyright © 2021 · The Real RD· Blog Design by Little Blue Deer


Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy