I hope you had a great weekend! This week I’ll be posting on all three days (M, W, F) while we are in this transition of adding a new RD to our team which I’m very excited about. I’m planning on writing a women’s health or intuitive eating content heavy post for Wednesday, I haven’t written it yet, but have some ideas in mind. If you’d love to see a topic written about or a question answered – share in the comments! Onto today’s 5 thoughts post.
1. Summer Reading List
I spent Friday afternoon taking a 2 hour nap and then taking a couple hours to journal/reflect on how I’d like this summer to go. What I want to focus on, what non-obligatory things I can really let go of and how I want this summer to feel. I wrote out some intentions, some rhythms and some fun things I’d like to do. I function way better with rhythms vs structure. For me, structure feels really rigid and confining and if I’m told to have structure I don’t want to do anything. As hard as I’ve tried, I can never stick to a structured day. And then I just feel guilty and frustrated with myself. Over the years I’ve learned to create rhythms instead. Rhythms are there to help with flow and direction, but they are totally flexible. A workday rhythm for me looks like: coffee + reading + walk outside + breakfast in the early morning, clients in the morning, writing/projects/meetings in the afternoon, and then chill time with Nick and/or friends and dinner in the evening. There is really no more structure to my day than that.
Part of this processing on Friday included picking out a few books I want to read this summer. I really want to scroll through the internet and social media less and instead read more this summer. I chose these three books: The Alchemist, One Thousand Gifts and Hillbilly Elegy. A client of mine gifted me the Alchemist a couple years ago and I started it, but didn’t get too far so I want to give myself time to actually read it this summer. Same with One Thousand Gifts. I started and got like 30 pages in and then decided, “I didn’t have time” which isn’t entirely true. Less social media = more time to read. And then Hillbilly Elegy I read a few pages of this January when a friend had it and loved it! So now I have a copy and can’t wait to read.
2. Recipes I want to Make
I’ve been pinning summer recipes that are super easy and require minimal cooking or turning on of the oven. We don’t have central AC so keeping the oven off as much as possible helps so much with the summer heat. Plus I just don’t want to spend my summer cooking. I want to spend it eating and being outside as much as possible 🙂
These BLT summer rolls pictured above look amazing.
As do these peanut butter chocolate banana popsicles. I want to eat these everyday for breakfast. And snacks. Maybe meals.
And this corn chowder is reminding me of home and the endless amount of Indiana corn consumed during the summer.
3. Goals for June
Along with structure, I also don’t do well with clearly defined goals. I’m learning to reframe goals in a way that makes me want to do them and to keep goals loosely defined and written more as intentions. I like to think of them more as forward arrows, but not a black-or-white, you accomplished this or you didn’t sort of thing. For some people I know that works well, but I tend to not work well under those circumstances.
This month I want to be intentional about reaching out to new people. We have a small, close group of friends here and I love spending time with them. But I do love meeting new people too, it just isn’t my comfy default. So my goal is to reach out to some new people that friends have connected me with, new people at church and be open to social situations where I don’t know a lot of people.
Finish Marci’s online training course I’m currently taking and learning so much from. So much. I had heard so many people who have been practicing for years rave about her course so I knew I had to take it. I’m so glad I did.
Set aside some time to read for pleasure each day – even if it’s just 10 minutes.
4. One of the best burgers I’ve had
On Saturday night we went over to our friend’s house for a cookout and I had one of the best burgers I’ve ever had. Not kidding. Apparently, Pete bought pre-made burger patties at Whole Foods so I guess that’s the secret. Or perhaps just the idea of putting a lot of cracked pepper and onions in a burger makes it awesome. Either way, it was awesome. I’ve had really good burgers out, but it’s usually the toppings that make them so good. With this one, the meat itself was so good. We also had grilled corn on the cob and really good arugula salad with lemon olive oil dressing, grated parmesan, almonds and tomatoes.
The weather was perfect. We sat around the bonfire eating ice cream sandwiches after dinner and even though it isn’t officially summer yet, it sure felt like it. And it made me grateful for this little tight knit group of friends we have here.
5. How to Care for Yourself After Binge Eating
I had a reader email me asking about what to do after a binge episode. She’s going through a hard loss and is finding herself binging for a day or sometimes a week. Many of you reading (and myself) have probably experienced a chaotic, out of control, stressful eating experience that left us feeling overly full and perhaps sick. And some of us may have experienced episodes of binge eating which are characterized by including at least three of the following… 1) eating more rapidly than normal 2) eating until feeling uncomfortably full 3) eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry 4) eating alone due to feeling embarrassed eating around others 5) feeling disgusted, depressed or very guilty after eating.
The guidance that I’m sharing here is really just a starting point. Given your own experiences, emotions and situation these might resonate and they might not. And there are always many other things to take into consideration. But I hope this is helpful.
- Practice self compassion – if that feels weird and awkward, that’s okay. Can you shift your mindset from one of judgement to one of curiosity. What are you feeling right now? Can you identify what you’re feeling and then recognize that you are human, those are hard feelings to feel and give yourself some compassion?
- Don’t get on the scale – maybe you don’t own a scale, but maybe you do and you’re tempted to hop on there and get an objective value. Be kind to yourself, and don’t do that. That isn’t going to do anything for your physical or mental wellbeing. Our bodies are dynamic and they shift weight quite often. Your weight has no bearing on you as a person.
- Recognize the impossibility of perfection – you are not perfect. You are human. A huge part of coming to peace with food and your body no matter what your history with food is learning to live in the gray instead of the black and white. You’re human and sometimes you will make choices that don’t serve you best. That’s okay. Just because you made a decision that you wish you didn’t, doesn’t mean you’re a failure. And it doesn’t mean you need to self destruct and bully yourself. You’re learning – there is no perfect way to eat or perfect body size to be and even though it feels true at times, eating a certain way or being a certain size have no attachment to your value as a person. And it is not the pathway to happiness. You’re human and that means you’re imperfect and messy and you don’t have it all together – that’s normal. Allow yourself to experience your humanness.
- Continue nourishing your body – one of the most problematic things you can do after a binge eating episode is not eat. This puts your body in a really vulnerable place physiologically. By eating regular, balanced meals that include all the macronutrients you’re sending the message to your body, “I will not deprive you of you food.” which is a huge step in allowing your body to find equilibrium. From a metabolic and hormonal standpoint, regulating your eating patterns helps you become better attuned to your bodies needs and internal cues which in turn decreases your body’s physiological vulnerability to binging. If your body isn’t well nourished, no matter how much emotional work you do, your body is still going to be vulnerable to binging.
- Process through your emotions – once you take care of the physiologic vulnerabilities then you have more space to work on the emotional piece. The emotional and physiological can certainly be worked on at the same time, but it’s really helpful to make sure you’re nourishing your body adequately first. Can you get curious and journal/process through what you feeling before/during/after a binge? What emotions are you trying to avoid with food? As you identify the precipitating events you can learn skills that help you better care for yourself and appropriately meet your body’s needs. DBT skills learned in therapy are a really powerful part of this process.
- Care for yourself the best you can – get good sleep, go on a walk in the fresh air to feel your body move, eat in a nourishing way, avoid other numbing mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, spending etc. Do the best you can in that moment.
Those are some starting points and certainly not the entirety of the story. I hope this is helpful. I think it’s also really important to recognize that often we need support to work through these thing and that is okay. If you’re feeling frustrated and stuck and lonely, I’d encourage you to reach out to a knowledgable RD and/or therapist to help you. We aren’t suppose to be able to figure out this stuff on our own.
I hope you have a great week – share some thoughts in the comments!
Hi Robyn!! 🙂 I have a suggestion/request for a blog post on the topic of PCOS and managing it with nutrition. And PCOS etiology in general. Thank you so much!! I super appreciate all of your blog posts — they are so helpful. I’ve shared them with my bible study too 😊
PCOS was my topic for this week so look out for that 🙂
Thanks for sharing!!
Hi Robyn! The links for the peanut butter chocolate banana popsicles and corn chowder seem to both bring me to the BLT summer rolls. Would you mind re-posting them? Thank you!!
Oops sorry Kristen! Should be all fixed now 🙂
Hi Robyn!
Thank you x a million for how much truth and gentleness (as well as tough love) you bring to your posts, IG, blog as a whole, etc. each and every day. You’re such a blessing! The topic I would love for you to touch on at some point (and maybe you already have, in which case, my apologies!) is about that awkward “in-between” time of recovery/intuitive eating/etc. where you have your period back, you’re at [what seems to be] your general “ideal” weight for your body, but for one reason or another your intuitive eating journey has you (me, haha) eating less than perhaps what is ideal. I haven’t been doing IE for a super long time, but this past few months without counting has shown me that I may not be eating enough…I guess what I’m getting at is, what are some proactive ways to ensure you’re eating enough while practicing intuitive eating when your body may not be at the point yet where it is communicating to you on its own how much it truly needs? Does that make sense? I know that was a ramble haha, so thanks for sticking through until now!
I second this request! I am in the exact same spot in recovery and have been looking for posts/information on this “in between” space. I suspect there are others like us and would so appreciate some insight!
I would also really appreciate a post about this topic. I am weight restored and not purposefully restricting but I find that if I don’t calorie count/track exchanges (I was on an exchange meal card), I end up undereating. How do you ensure that you are nourishing your body properly without calorie counting or generally being obsessive around food? If I go solely on my hunger signals, I am usually not getting enough. Thanks Robyn for all you do!
noted!!
you got it!
Hi Taylor! Thank you for your kind words about the blog – I’m so glad the content has resonated and encouraged you 🙂
Totally hear you and understand your question and I’m excited to add this to my blog topics list! It’s certainly a murky area and a question I’m sure MANY readers have. Thanks for asking!
Whole Food’s black pepper burger patties are so simple and delicious. I also love their cowboy burgers, which have cheddar cheese, bacon and jalapenos mixed in. The best!
This is the one that is my favorite too (: It’s my camping go to & tastes even better cooked over a bonfire!!!
Those sound delicious!!
Love the alchemist (book)!! I would like a post on how to balance actual, valid concerns about the healthfulness of food (for instance, the reality that high fructose corn syrup and trans fats are detrimental to health) with intuitive eating. Also, how to navigate ethical eating, like buying from local farms and avoiding items that were not produced fairly, with intuitive eating. (for example, a lot of non-organic foods including staples like sugar cane are produced with chemicals that greatly threaten the health of workers who harvest it)
Writing this down June!
Hi Robyn,
Something I always wonder about is knowing when weight gain is a part of intuitive eating or if you are overeating. Like say for instance someone who is practicing intuitive eating realizes that their pants are fitting tighter or they are weighing a few pounds heavier than usual. At what point do you know if this is what your body needs vs. you are eating more than you need?
My other question is more related to practice. I am a dietitian in a clinic and work with mostly diabetics. I’d love to see posts about intuitive eating for various disease states.
I would love more about intuitive eating with chronic illness, too. Especially illness that usually have a dietary (can’t think of a better word for this?) management component.
Great question Jennifer! See my answer to Bre above 🙂
Hi Bre,
Great questions! I’ll expand on your first question more in a blog post but I think overeating would be characterized by eating to a point of uncomfortably full frequently (on occasion this is totally normal in IE) and/or eating in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling well physically. Hope that helps to get you started!
I am coming out with a course this month on the topic of your question for CEUs so look out for that!
The physiological vs psychological part of recovery was ever so important for me to understand! A few months ago my binges has gotten out of control and because I was hyper focused on the psychological side of things I just got massively frustrated. Why wasn’t it “working”? Why wasn’t I getting better? Why was it getting worse? I remember reading one of your posts at the time on this exact subject and having an ah ah moment. Of course it wasn’t going to work, my body was starving and it was compensating. Anyhow, a few weeks later I am making sure I have having my meals and snacks and I feel that NOW I finally can start to tackle the psychological side properly!
Thank you for sharing this Annie! What wonderful insight and I know many readers will resonate with this!
Hi Robyn!
Thanks for taking the time to write all these posts, they are very informative, interesting and helpful! I have a request that maybe could be covered under the topic of intuitive eating…my question is how does one tell the difference between intuitive eating vs cravings? How would you define a craving in light of intuitive eating and how might cravings be different than intuitive eating?
Thanks!
Great question Sam, I’m noting it!
I love this post! I have wondered for a while if there is a link between hormones/period restoration and weight overshoot. If that sounds like an interesting topic you’d like to write about I’d love to know what you find!
Love this question! Writing it down!
I so appreciate what you say about goals Robyn. It’s amazing to learn from you as I feel stressed by really rigid goals, and I love loosely defined goals and rhythms too but not a very tight structure.
That burger does look so memorable. The bun looks perfect too!
And the advice about a binge is SO GOOD. I used to do that in recovery, and getting on the scale was never helpful or restricting the day afterwards. The best thing is to just pick up and walk forward into the next day with that gentle nourishment mindset.
I’m so glad the content has helped you Emily 🙂
gentleness and kindness towards yourself is so important. agreed!
One thousand gifts is absolutely incredible. I read it over and over. But yes, definitely agree that if you’re not in the right mental space/feel busy it’s not a good option haha. I hope you enjoy it this time! I’ve definitely been battling the social media vs reading problem for awhile now and still haven’t figured out a good balance. I think what has helped me the most in the past, though, was shutting my phone and the tv off after dinner. Then all that’s left to do before you sleep is read! 🙂
I’d love to see a post about the nocebo effect. I notice so many people trying to become intuitive eaters seem to say “this food doesn’t make me feel well so I avoid it as self care” but seem to be using this as a justification to basically continue avoiding foods that they think will cause weight gain, especially dairy, carbs, & sugar, when I think it almost always is the fear of these foods causing the symptoms.
love this topic Jen!
Thanks so much for this post, Robyn. Especially the thoughts around Binge eating. I’m realizing how much and how easy it is for me to emotionally eat, so I’m trying to really work on the mental side of things. xoxo
Hi Robyn! I love all of your posts. I really like your 5 things posts too because it’s kind of like the cheese platter of the blog posts, you know? little bit of this, little bit of that. I always look foward to catching up on your blog as I sit down for coffee and lunch on the weekends.
I know that binge eating is a normal part of eating disorder recovery as your body starts to fight to be what size is best for it, but I have a question for you: Do you think that binge eating is a part of normal life? Do intuitive eaters binge eat? I guess that might be a weird question. I know everyone enjoys thanksgiving fullness occasionally, but I’m curious on your thoughts
Hi Savanna! Great question. Overeating on occassion is a part of normal, intuitive eating. Sometimes we overeat to enhance a food experience – like Thanksgiving. But binging is different in that it’s characterized by at least three of the following
1) eating more rapidly than normal 2) eating until feeling uncomfortably full 3) eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry 4) eating alone due to feeling embarrassed eating around others 5) feeling disgusted, depressed or very guilty after eating
I hope that’s helpful!
Love the suggestions above about the “in between”except for me, I still eat too much since I’m 10 Lbs above the normal range for my height and age.
Also could you talk about whether you fear food anymore? I’ve made a lot of process in my recovery over binge eating, restricting and bulemia but still avoid certain foods out of fear that I will eat too much. AS example, it’s easier for me to completely avoid sugar rather than have it every once in awhile.
Loved the rythym, idea! Thx for that! I’m exactly the same and have to set intentions otherwise, I go into failure/perfectionism mode!
I appreciate your tips about what to do after a binge. I have lived for decades with a binge/restrict eating disorder and I am finally making an effort to just feed my body when it is hungry and to stop the constant dieting. I’ll be fifty later this year, so it’s a bit sad to reflect on all the time I have spent hating my body and alternately starving or eating until I hate myself.
The Alchemist is on my reading list this summer too! And I KEEP hearing about it everywhere, so I’m taking it as a sign 🙂 Summer intention setting feels so good, doesn’t it? Wishing you a great rest of your week <3