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Body Image, Eating Disorders

Your Body is Dynamic, Not Static

August 1, 2018 By Robyn 20 Comments

We know that the body has a genetic set point. Meaning your body has a weight range in which it is programmed to function optimally. Your body will fight under a variety of circumstances, to maintain this set point. That weight range, researchers suggest, is about 10-20 pounds and varies from person to person based on many factors you cannot control. Just like we can’t control our shoe size or the color of our hair, we can’t control our set point. Our bodies are genetically and biologically driven to weigh within a certain range. Finding and accepting your set point weight can be a long and emotional process. Accepting that it is a range and that this range shifts throughout your life can be an added layer of difficulty.

For me at least, I could accept this set point when my body reached a weight that was easily maintainable, a weight where I healthily menstruated each month, and a weight I didn’t have to fight to control. That was 5 years ago. The reality of our body’s physiology and the biological aging process is that our bodies change over time no matter what. You can’t prevent every single wrinkle on your face and you can’t prevent the shift in body fat that occurs as we age. It’s how the body works. It’s hard enough to accept your body at a weight and size that might not be your ideal weight that you have in your head.

There’s an added layer when it comes to accepting your body as it shifts and changes within your set point range, as your set point changes throughout your life, and even in seasons of life when we might experience a body weight or size above our set point for many reasons. Can we tolerate and perhaps accept our bodies then? Can we choose to care for ourselves through nourishment, joyful movement and self care, trusting that our bodies know what they are doing and will find and settle into the weight and size they need to be. That is the focus of HAES, choosing healthy behaviors vs a certain weight because weight is an outcome, not a behavior we can actually engage in.

Being at war with your body’s size is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. Even though your body has a set point range, remember that is a range – your body is going to change and shift within that range and that is what is suppose to happen. Your body’s set point range will also change throughout your life. You will not have the same set point at 22 that you will have at 52. Your body is not static. It is very dynamic, ebbing and flowing depending on what your life looks and like and what your body needs from season to season. If you can only accept your body at a certain weight or size, that is not true body acceptance. Because what happens when your body shifts and changes? If body acceptance is contingent on a certain body size, when your body changes it’s likely all hell will break lose. You might find yourself become mentally and emotionally undone – and likely participating in self destructive behaviors that don’t honor or respect your health or body.

There’s no lab values, diagnostic testing or formula to magically tell you if/when you’ve reached your set point. If you’re wondering whether or not you’re at your body’s set point, above your set point or below your set point, this excerpt from Linda Bacon’s website has questions to ask yourself that can help you determine where your body is at right now. Eating based on appetite, hunger/fullness, satiety and satisfaction instead of eating based on external rules and expectations (counting calories, macronutrients, comparing what you ate to what your friend ate, eating at specific times, etc) supports your body in finding it’s set point. Exercising for joy, vitality, and to enhance your health (not manipulate your body size) will also help support your body in finding it’s natural set point. Caring for your mental and emotional health also helps support your body in finding its natural set point.

There is a very big difference in pursuing health vs pursuing a certain weight/body size. In order to find body acceptance and your natural set point you first have to want to find those things. If you aren’t sure if you want to do that, it’s okay to be in that place. Take some time to really process through your thoughts/feelings/emotions. You have to want to respect your body’s natural body size. And that natural body size might not be your ideal body size – given our thin obsessed culture, your natural set point is probably not your ideal body size. The idea of that alone can be hard to tolerate. Do you want to be healthy or do you want to be skinny/toned/fit? They are very different things.

Weight has very little to do with your actual physical health. Those two things don’t matter nearly as much as culture and the media and our minds think they do. Rather it’s your behaviors around food, exercise and your emotional/mental health that profoundly affect your overall physical health. I shared this 5 minute video a couple years ago on social media about how our attitudes about food can impact our physical health. How we think about and view food has the ability to determine how effectively our bodies metabolize and process food – even more than the nutrient content itself. I think that’s so fascinating and eye opening. I talk about stress a lot and how it affects our physical health because it has such profound impacts.

We think our minds know more than our bodies. They don’t. At times, there will be things that are happening internally in our bodies (like illness, nerves or indigestion) or externally in our environment that affect our body’s ability to send accurate hunger/fullness cues. That is when your mind can come in and you can use accurate nutrition/health knowledge to make food and health decisions that best support your body’s needs. But that is occasional, not all the time. Our bodies are smart. They know what they need. The problem is that we get in our own way and we think that our minds know more than our bodies. They don’t. Our minds are there to act as an adjunct to our bodies when our body signals are confusing. Your mind trying to convince your body that it doesn’t need food when you are physically hungry is like telling someone the sky is not blue. The sky is blue. It’s a fact. Physical hunger means your body needs food. That’s a fact.

Your body size will change throughout your entire life. You can choose to fight your natural set point and spend your one life overthinking food and exercise and your body, but that means you will miss out on fully living your life. You cannot be fully engaged in your life while also micromanaging your body size. In order to micromanage your body size, you have to give up other parts of your life and who you are. But unlike the illustration diet culture paints, having a thin/toned/fit body that culture portrays as beautiful and worthy and true body acceptance are mutually exclusive. They typically do not occur at the same time. In order to have a body shape like that, you have to be obsessed with your body, food and exercise. Of course, there is a very small percentage of the population with a genetic set point and body size that is aligns with our culture’s expectations. But nobody naturally has a six pack.

I feel sad when I think about all the moments I missed out on in my teens and early twenties because I was terrified of my body changing. Looking back now, what is most terrifying is missing out on living a meaningful and purposeful life.


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Filed Under: Body Image, Eating Disorders

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Comments

  1. Hillary says

    August 1, 2018 at 9:06 am

    I think this is the hardest piece of recovery from eating disorders/disordered eating. It’s that final letting go of what you think or want your body to look like and instead letting it do what it is meant to do. “Nobody naturally has a six-pack”, my husband tells me this all the time 🙂 I think it’s tricky because now the messaging isn’t just about weight. There are so fitspiration telling women that it’s not about the weight, it’s about body composition. For example, “I’ve gained X pounds, but lost X inches!” Bleh! It’s sneaky diet culture trying to convince us that fat on the body is bad. I am not giving up on the fight to let my body settle and hopefully be able to see beauty in that. I’m definitely on my way and the reminders I read on your blog help me to lift my head high, throw my shoulders back and march forward.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 1, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      I totally agree how the messaging can be so twisted and manipulative. Keep fighting the good fight Hillary!! And keep surrounding yourself with helpful vs hurtful messaging. I’m thinking of you!! Shoulders back and onward 🙂

      Reply
  2. Andrea says

    August 1, 2018 at 11:03 am

    Hi Robyn! Can you recommend a good book for someone beginning the intuitive eating journey?

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 1, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      The book Intuitive Eating!!

      Reply
  3. Sian says

    August 1, 2018 at 11:45 am

    This is a wonderful article – thank you.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 1, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      So glad you found it helpful Sian 🙂

      Reply
      • Nne says

        June 14, 2019 at 5:04 pm

        I absolutely love your article- it is very refreshing and liberating. Thank you so much!

        Reply
  4. Brittany Audra @ Audra's Appetite says

    August 1, 2018 at 12:49 pm

    I was literally just talking with a client this morning about set point weight and not focusing on a specific number! This post is such a helpful resource/discussion…thank you! 🙂

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 1, 2018 at 2:43 pm

      Hope it’s helpful as a resource!!

      Reply
  5. Amanda says

    August 1, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    Hi Robyn! I love this and your thoughts on the topic. I would love to hear your thoughts on exercising for strength gains. I love working out and it brings me happiness. The last few years, my focus has been on strength training. I’ve been working on goals like being able to do an unassisted pull-up (which I can now do!). This allows me to see improvements, but not having any goals/desires set on my body size (in fact I definitely weigh more now and my arms are much larger). I know that weight lifting is beneficial to your health(joints, bone, etc) but so much of the media also portrays the “strong not skinny” mantra that it often clouds my joy. What are your thoughts?

    Reply
  6. Robyn says

    August 1, 2018 at 2:45 pm

    Hi Amanda!

    Here is a good post I wrote that I think will speak to your question.

    https://www.thereallife-rd.com/2018/04/healthy-exercise/

    There are also lots of other posts in the exercise archives (just search under categories on the right sidebar of the blog) that I hope you find helpful too!

    https://www.thereallife-rd.com/category/exercise/

    Thanks for reading!

    Reply
  7. Maggie Getz says

    August 1, 2018 at 5:25 pm

    YES YES YES. So much truth here! Thank you, Robyn <3

    Reply
  8. Jen says

    August 1, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    Love this!! I never was good enough at tuning out signals so giving up food rules & exercise goals didn’t change my body dramatically at least 😂. But it did make my life so much happier!! I gained a little at first & eventually settled. What I wanted to weigh & would occasionally get closer to when my will power was great (and my life was terrible) was not worth it!! Thanks for showing us a better way!!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 3, 2018 at 8:10 am

      Thank you for sharing your story Jen!! I think (at least for me) getting to the other side and living my life free of all that crap was when I realized it was SO NOT WORTH IT.

      Reply
  9. Alyx says

    August 2, 2018 at 12:24 am

    This article is everything I needed today. Such a gentle reminder of where I am on this journey and why I keep pushing forward. Thanks Robyn 🙂

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      August 3, 2018 at 8:10 am

      Rooting for you Alyx!

      Reply
  10. Jenna says

    February 26, 2019 at 5:11 pm

    This is an old post but I just wanted to let you know how much it meant! I am having a rough time being content with my body at its set point. I often wish i could just look like you do and then i’d be ok with it but my body is my own and i need to be content with what the Lord has given me!

    Reply
  11. Sandy says

    September 10, 2020 at 8:37 pm

    Love this article – I think most of the problem I have with reading about set point weight and anti-diet culture is that the women who write are usually lovely and thin – kind of with the bodies I wish I had! Right now I don’t think I’m at my set point because I feel just a little uncomfortable in my body. In my 50’s, it’s not easy to get to a healthier weight.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. How To Swap Holiday Diet Talk with Non-Diet Phrases - That Certain Touch says:
    November 14, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    […] Not only does associating eating with weight gain perpetuate fatphobia, but it also perpetuates the idea that we can’t honor our bodies natural weight regulation mechanisms. Our body does have natural weight regulation mechanisms, unfortunately diet culture just blames these mechanisms instead of making peace with them. The primary two mechanism are hunger and fullness. Learning how to honor your hunger and fullness is important to develop a healthy relationship with food, and can also stabilize your weight to your natural set point. […]

    Reply
  2. Nutrition and Intuitive Eating – UBC Okanagan Food Services says:
    November 23, 2020 at 5:05 pm

    […] needs. When you learn to listen to your internal signals, your body will naturally find its  “set point weight”, which is an optimal and maintainable weight that helps your body to function properly. […]

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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Learning over and over again in this season that f Learning over and over again in this season that feels unsettled and chaotic and longgggggg that sometimes, you just need the viewpoint of a toddler to remind you that the seemingly insignificant things & moments really are....straight up magical. And that yes, these mundane days are packed full of goodness & beauty if I keep my eyes fixed on what actually matters.
Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, wowww 🤯 Asked at least six people where to find something and their opinion on all the options bc holy decision fatigue. Nursed my newborn on the floor of the paint aisle. And BLESS my new contractor friend Matt I found in the lumber section that pushed my cart around and helped me avoid the mistake of buying exterior wood for some DIY bathroom shelves.
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We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t plan to close on a house 10 weeks after having a baby, but here we are. And we are so, so grateful.  And I’m also terrified. We’ve moved three times and lived in three different states since we got married three years ago. After six years spent living in New York City and Boston, moving back to Charlottesville was really, really hard for me. I cried a lot those first six months because my heart ached for the northeast and for city life. I wanted to pack up and go back to Boston ASAP. It felt so different and so quiet here and at times, very lonely. Even though it felt like the next right step, I second guessed our decision A LOT.
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But here we are 10 months later ready to continue investing in this neighborhood we’ve come to love. And this community of people that have become so dear. Ten months later and it feels so, so right. And although committing to settling down here for a good bit feels really scary to me, it also brings so much peace to know we aren’t moving again anytime soon. We are here to plant and grow. And raise our babies in this house as we make it a home. It’s also really fun to have one of your best friends be your realtor. We love you @kelli.teter.nesting 🤗
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my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in ghee with sautéed spinach (also in ghee) and an english muffin with more ghee + some sort of jam on half for that sweet & savory combo. we discovered these local english muffins (from The Bread Basket) and they are doughy and delicious and we are obsessed.
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I’ve found that I need a solid source of protein and lots of fat for breakfast to keep me full while breastfeeding this time around vs with Cal, I was so into big bowls of pb & chocolate chip banana oatmeal. just goes to show our bodies know what they need and change cravings accordingly. also, just a psa: go pick up the maple butter from @traderjoes bc it is bonkers 🤤 and lastly, shout out to my husband bc a lot of mornings he is making this bfast for me while I nurse & try to pull myself out of bed - don’t for a moment think I’ve got it together 🤪
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I’ve been completely disconnected from social me I’ve been completely disconnected from social media and that’s been vital for me during this tender postpartum period of transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2. But today, I’m bopping on briefly to share how Teddy entered this wild world with you - if you’re into a lengthy, detailed birth story, the link in my profile will lead you to the blog post 💙
Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our famil Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our family at 12:48am on Wednesday after a quick and swift labor & birth at home 💙 Thank you Father for another healthy baby boy & your abundant, tender love for us. What an undeserved gift.
Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his due date, but also....LET’S GO DUDE. Still over here eating dates (check out the @ebbirth article on the research showing dates can help ripen (aka soften) your cervix, reduce the need for medical intervention in labor and can overall, improve birth outcomes) drinking red raspberry leaf tea and sleeping as much as possible with a 19 month old running around. And also trying to survive July in VA without public pools or splash pads bc it is BLAZIN HERE (and I’m a wuss with the heat 🤪)
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Found this photo on my camera roll today from a wa Found this photo on my camera roll today from a walk I took a month or so ago. Between quarantine and spending my days with a toddler, life is much less hurried and a lot more mundane these days. But those two things are helping me to stop & notice and to chill out on checking things off my to do list and instead just being present with whatever is in front of me. I want to have the curiosity & wonder my 18 month old has as I go about my day - with my surroundings and people I encounter and really, everything. Life is way more meaningful that way. Ending my evening with that reminder and a white chocolate chip cinnamon blondie covered in vanilla ice cream before I go take an Epsom salt bath and read.

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