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Body Image, Eating Disorders, Intuitive Eating, Self Care

Steps You Can Take To Tolerate Your Body Changing As You Get Older

March 29, 2018 By Robyn 29 Comments

I know a lot of my readers are 20 somethings. I also know that a lot of my readers are in their 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s. And while I write a lot about premenopausal women’s health, I also want to write a lot more (as I learn more!) about menopausal and postmenopausal women’s health because that’s so so important too. I’m going to be writing about dealing with body changes in your 20s, but I think this applies to any life stage. I know there are a lot of body changes as women go through menopause as well.

The thing that makes accepting and even tolerating body changes really hard is societal messaging that says, “If your body gets bigger, something is wrong.” Somebody could be suffering from depression or trauma or a devastating loss, but if they look thinner…people will comment on how great they look. As a culture, we applaud weight loss. But the moment we notice somebody’s body has gotten bigger and not smaller, or we notice our own body has gotten bigger and not smaller…we assume something is wrong. That there must be something to fix.

Bodies aren’t meant to stay that same. That would be weird. As we move through different life stages, our hormones shift, our body’s need for varying levels of body fat changes and so our body shape and size changes. I’m not sure if there is any research behind this…but in my own practice I find a lot of my client’s eating disorders or disordered eating habits or body image issues started in their late teens and early twenties. I think this life stage is really hard for a lot of women. In high school and college I wanted everyone to like me. I was really unsure of who I was and above all else, I desired acceptance and praise. I wanted to be good at things and the last thing I wanted was to be forgotten or average. I had no idea what my values were….at that point I valued frat parties, forever 21 and cheap vodka. I had no idea who I was so my value and worth was heavily contingent on the crowd I ran with, who liked me and what I looked like compared to other girls. Leaving college and entering into living on my own and navigating adult life was hard too. It was uncertain and messy and included a lot of starting over. New city, new job, new friendships, new everything. I didn’t know how to pay a bill or shop for a week’s worth of groceries when I graduated college.

I think all the uncertainly and instability in your early 20s makes you really vulnerable to negative thoughts around your body. As a 20 something I was highly impressionable, naive and insecure. Outwardly, I may have appeared confident, but I was anything but on the inside. My way of feeling confident was through micromanaging my body size, being successful in school, eating healthy and being a fast runner. It was all external. And what all these external validators make for is really shaky ground. Since a lot of my value and worth was contingent on my body size, when that changed so did my value and worth.

In order to keep your body size the same throughout your late teens and twenties (and your life) it usually takes a lot of hard work, stress and rules. I realize not for everyone. For a small percentage of the population, their natural body size is small and doesn’t change much during these years. But that is a VERY VERY small percentage. That is not the norm. What many women experience are body changes. Often your hormones are a little more all over the place in your teenage years and your period might be also. Not for all women of course, but for many. As you enter into your twenties your hormones begin to settle in more (if you’re taking care of yourself with good nutrition, appropriate exercise, enough sleep and self care to manage stress) and your period likely becomes more regular.

We also experience body fat distribution in our 20s. We’re settling into our adult bodies and are no long pubertal teenagers. I remember when I was in my early 20s I hated body fat. Now that I’m nearing the end of my twenties, I can’t think of anything more womanly than body fat. But in a culture that sees fat as bad, it can be really hard to tolerate and accept more body fat. Fat isn’t valued in the culture that we live in, so I don’t think I’ll ever look at the fat on my stomach and go, “I love this!” But I do think I can tolerate and accept my body fat and move on with my life so I can focus on living out my values. The picture I illustrate for clients that they find helpful is having them imagine a child cuddled up on a mothers lap. Then I ask them to describe the mom they are envisioning. Never have I had a client describe the mom as a woman with little to no body fat, toned triceps and a flat, taught stomach. No, they describe a mom who is fleshy, healthy and has body fat.

Tolerating body changes during your early 20s (and your mid and late 20s) is hard enough, let alone accepting all these body changes. It can feel out of control and can trigger unhealthy behaviors in order to “fix” what is changing. But remember, your job is to care for your body. Your body’s job is to manage it’s size. Your body is the master at managing it’s size and shape. Your mind is not. If I knew at 24 what I know now and was in the same headspace, my early 20s would have involved a lot less thoughts around food and exercise and maintaining a weight that was too low for my body to menstruate and a weight that was destined to change.

Some things that I think are helpful when it comes being a caregiver for your body so you can tolerate, and perhaps come to accept your changing body and natural body size.

Stop body checking.

This is much easier said then done. Just because you want to stop body checking and plan to, doesn’t mean you won’t ever body check again. But having the intention to stop body checking can make you aware of when you are doing it. So when you do find yourself body checking, you can notice that and then choose to not do that. Choose to turn your head away from the window you’re walking by. Choose to not look in the mirror when you get out of the shower. And choose to set up your mat in the middle of the yoga room so you’re not practicing in front of the mirror. It makes me so sad when I see women at the gym or in the locker room body checking. Sad because it’s so normal and sad because I feel her pain.

Throw out old clothes that don’t fit.

Holding onto old clothes that you hope to fit into one day does nothing for your mental, emotional or physical health. Unless you’re pregnant, donate old clothes that do not fit right now. I remember holding onto this one pair of shorts I wore in college in my early twenties and then I would try them on to see if they were less tight and every time I tried to squeeze myself into these shorts I felt like complete crap. Stop doing that to yourself. Buying clothes that fit can do wonders for your body image and how you feel in your body.

Write out positive affirmations.

You have to rewire all the brain pathways that are drowning in diet culture. Positive affirmations are short phrases you can memorize and say to yourself when your healthy, wise voice is weak and being shouted over by your unhealthy voice.  The key is repetition. Literally, repeat repeat repeat. These can especially be helpful when it comes to decreasing anxiety. When it comes to tolerating body changes, anxiety is your bff. When you feel anxiety coming on, press into it and learn to understand the anxiety. Working through it, not avoiding it, is how we make uncomfortable changes in our lives. Some come up with 5-10 positive affirmations to start and write them on stickies to post in noticeable places or on the lockscreen of your phone. These affirmations provide you with go-to healthy, wise thoughts when your brain is filled with crap.

Do movement that connects instead of dissociates you from your body.

Finding movement that connects you to your body will be different for everyone. Running helps connect me to my body. Yoga really helps me connect to my body. And Barre3 and pilates also help me connect to my body. Some days though, I know running isn’t going to help me connect to my body and what would feel best is yoga. You have to figure out you. But I will say, mindless cardio on machines at the gym pretty much never helped me connect to my body. And multiple HIIT workouts a week never did either. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy a more intense form of movement here and there…I still do, but I had to take a break from it for a long time to connect back to my body. I don’t do intense forms of exercise (think not being able to talk in full sentences) that often now, because I learned that when I do, I start to think about changing my body more than caring for my body. It’s also important to note that if you feel like you have an exercise obsession, taking a complete break from ALL movement is key to your recovery.

Get off the scale.

I think learning to see a number on the scale as completely neutral and holding no value can be really helpful down the road in your journey towards food and body peace. But learning to tolerate the distress of seeing that number should probably be worked through with someone skilled in that area…like a therapist or dietitian. But in the beginning, getting off the scale I think is so important. If your day goes from good to bad by a few numbers on a scale, that’s a problem. You wouldn’t stay friends with someone who made you feel like crap, so stop staying in a relationship with the scale when it makes you feel like crap. You don’t have to keep bullying yourself.

Explore what you are actually feeling when you say “I feel fat” or “I feel gross”.

Fat and gross are adjectives, not feelings. When we say we feel fat we aren’t feeling fat, but we are feeing other things that we can’t identify so we say we feel fat. So do some exploring. What do you feel? Maybe you feel frustrated or fearful. Maybe you feel anxious and unworthy. Maybe you feel tired or insecure. What are you really feeling?

If you continue to struggle even though you’ve been trying on your own for a while, I’d encourage you to do a few things. You can check out my online course on cultivating healthy body image and see if that resonates with you – I include many tools for you to process through your own body image struggles and develop healthy ways to care for yourself. Or I’d encourage you to work with a dietitian and/or therapist skilled in this area. That could be us at Real Life Women’s Health or one of many incredible RD and therapist colleagues of mine that I am happy to refer you to. Above all, know that you can get support and you deserve support so that you don’t have to deal with this junk for the rest of your 20s or 30s and years to come. Your life has value and purpose that has nothing to do with food or your body.


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Filed Under: Body Image, Eating Disorders, Intuitive Eating, Self Care

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Comments

  1. A says

    March 29, 2018 at 11:12 am

    Robyn, such a great post! Great analogy about the child on a mother’s lap. I always find myself body-checking or having those “I feel fat/gross” moments. It’s definitely a work in progress (easier said than done) but it’s so so important for our health and happiness in the long term.
    I had a question, could shortness of breath be a symptom of amenorrhea/the recovery process, even when its near the “end” of a recovery process? (say from a past of under-eating or over-exercising)

    Thank you for highlighting the importance of letting go and really connecting with yourself. Your posts always help me take things into perspective and reflect (I just read your behind the scenes of intuitive eating post and it was AMAZING, super helpful!)

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:03 pm

      Hi A! Since I know nothing about your personal history and true shortness of breath is not a symptom to be taken lightly I’d check with your doctor.

      So glad you found that post helpful – I’ll do one again soon 🙂

      Reply
  2. rachel says

    March 29, 2018 at 11:57 am

    Such an amazing post! I’m about to turn 25 and can totally relate to most of the stuff you talked about in this post. Love all the tips you gave here. I can definitely admit I need to go through my clothes and throw some of my smaller pieces away. Happy you included body checking in here, as that is something else I find myself doing which I hate.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:05 pm

      Wearing clothes that you feel good is in huge! Stopping the body checking and taking the focus off your body can be so helpful during the tolerating stage and then you can reintroduce mirrors etc as you learn to accept your body.

      Reply
  3. Amy says

    March 29, 2018 at 1:55 pm

    I developed disordering eating at the age of 17 and full blown anorexia at 25. My body never had a chance to naturally change in my 20s. Now that I’m 36 (as of today!) I have noticed recently that my body is unexpectedly and suddenly larger and more curvy. I am finally eating more intuitively and not obsessively exercising. I feel like I am experiencing the changes you wrote about at a late age because of what my body was going through in my 20s. I am finally starting to settle into this new body, but it hasn’t been easy. I think if we all had the expectation that our bodies were meant to change, we would feel more at ease when they do.

    Reply
    • Christine says

      March 29, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      Happy birthday! 😊

      Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:05 pm

      thank you for sharing Christine – I know many woman can relate to your story and experiencing those changes later on!

      Reply
  4. Megan @ A Continual Feast says

    March 29, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    So so much wisdom here!!! I LOVE what you said about how our job is not to micromanage our body size. And how we can just move on and live out our values instead of obsessing over our bodies! So much freedom in that!!

    Reply
  5. Bre says

    March 29, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    “I don’t think I’ll ever look at the fat on my stomach and go, “I love this!” But I do think I can tolerate and accept my body fat and move on with my life so I can focus on living out my values.”

    I had to laugh at this because this is where I am. I struggle with it sometimes, but now that I’m in my late 30s, I’m working on accepting that my body is changing and will change. That’s what bodies do! I admit that as I approach 40, I’m getting nervous because I’ve heard several people lamenting about how your metabolism slows down so much and “everything changes” once you hit that milestone. But I know that message is part of diet culture, and I’m trying to focus on caring for the body I have right now. Thanks for the encouraging words, Robyn!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:06 pm

      I think that is our culture and the diet industry preying on women’s vulnerabilities as they approach “middle age” – it’s all fear mongering so you focus on caring for yourself 🙂

      Reply
  6. Daniela says

    March 29, 2018 at 7:49 pm

    Love this! I’ve employed the majority of these tactics and they really help!!!! I think I first started obsessively body-checking when I got rid of my scale. What I didn’t realize at the time was that while the scale was gone, my mindset of defining self worth by my size hadn’t and body-checking was just a proxy for the scale. I’m not sure I even realized I body checked (or knew that was a word!) until I started reading your and immaeathat’s blogs! But thanks to you guys I gained awareness of body checking, then I forced myself to say one thing positive about my body every time I body checked, and now I rarely body check.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:07 pm

      Thank you for sharing how much has shifted with body checking!!

      Reply
  7. Tina says

    March 29, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    Hi Robyn,

    Long time reader, first time commenter 🙂 I love this perspective – thanks for posting!

    I do have a question that is probably just tangentially related…but this post got me thinking about certain nutritional recommendations re: gaining weight. For example, most nutrition articles I read wax rhapsodic about nuts as nutritional powerhouses – but always with the caveat that you should only eat “a handful” a day to prevent weight gain.

    Nuts were actually a big fear food for me in my eating disorder. Now, I eat them regularly and at snack time, often find myself craving them for both satiety + taste, but I always find myself paranoid about eating “too much.” I feel like I’m at my set point and not necessarily worried about going ‘overboard’ on nuts but I’m wondering…is this advice more relevant when you’re actively restricting and ANY deviation from a very strict diet will result in weight gain? In the future, I would be very interested to see your perspective on conventional serving sizes/nutritional recommendations in an intuitive eating mindset vs. a more restrictive mindset, and what the realistic impact of these portion sizes is when you’re around your set point range, especially with foods that are nutritionally and calorically dense like nuts/nut butters.

    Also just wanted to thank you for this blog! It’s been a huge source of help and credible information for me on my journey 🙂 Keep up the great, truly impactful work!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:13 pm

      I would probably recommend not reading articles that talk about making sure you “dont gain weight’ because that’s diet culture and it’s fear mongering. Serving sizes mean nothing – your body is the expert. All servings sizes tell me is that a 100 calorie serving of cereal is going to leave me hungry. I think this would be a good post idea I’ll write down! So glad the blog has been helpful 🙂

      Reply
  8. Erin Drum says

    March 29, 2018 at 11:31 pm

    This is so good! “Fat and gross are adjectives, not feelings.” I’d never actually thought about that but so true! Going to hang on to that line! Love this post. Thanks, Robyn!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:13 pm

      glad it was helpful for you!!

      Reply
  9. Ashley says

    March 30, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    STOP BODY CHECKING.
    This is much easier said then done. Just because you want to stop body checking and plan to, doesn’t mean you won’t ever body check again. But having the intention to stop body checking can make you aware of when you are doing it. So when you do find yourself body checking, you can notice that and then choose to not do that. Choose to turn your head away from the window you’re walking by. Choose to not look in the mirror when you get out of the shower. And choose to set up your mat in the middle of the yoga room so you’re not practicing in front of the mirror. It makes me so sad when I see women at the gym or in the locker room body checking. Sad because it’s so normal and sad because I feel her pain.

    I love this post Robyn. However… I do disagree with this one. If someone needs to do this *for a time* I think that’s OK.But, we need to learn to look at ourselves and accept and appreciate what we see. Challenge yourself to look in that mirror and smile and say “I love my body.” It’s not always easy – but it can really shift things. We shouldn’t be turning our heads away from ourselves. I love practicing my yoga in front of the mirror because I do very hard… difficult… positive affirmations and catch myself body shaming and then do an affirmation to counter it. Mirrors and windows shouldn’t be the enemy. It’s not criticize the body – but to learn to accept and love it in all conditions.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      March 30, 2018 at 4:18 pm

      Hi Ashley! I couldn’t agree more with you about being about to see our bodies as neutral and accept our natural body size. I think it’s too high of an expectation for some people to love their bodies so working towards neutrality and acceptance is a huge win. I think the same thing goes for weight – learning to see a number on the scale if you happen to get weighed at the doctor etc and seeing it as neutral as your cell phone number. It’s simply a number. With that said, when someone is beginning a journey of body acceptance, often they can be in too vulnerable of a spot to be able to tolerate that distress and not engage in unhealthy behaviors to change their body. Down the road they begin the work of exposure therapy to challenge those thoughts/beliefs around their body. OF COURSE everyone’s journey is different, but if someone isn’t able to tolerate the distress of looking at their body and not actively trying to change it in the beginning, that is 100% okay and that doesn’t mean they are going about their healing process wrong. Also most importantly, body checking is very different than being able to look at yourself in the mirror. I hope that helps! Thanks for commenting, reading and sharing <3

      Reply
      • Ashley says

        April 1, 2018 at 12:50 pm

        Thanks for replying! I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on looking in the mirror and body checking. I understand where you are coming from… I would just hope it’s for a short time in the beginning. When I started my eating disorder recovery, I was working with someone and they had me look in the mirror and tell myself ” I love you.” It was one of the hardest things I had every done but it was a turning point for me. For me, I faked it until I made it and forced myself to become best friends with my mirror no matter how difficult it was for me. I practiced affirmations for what seemed like hours at a time – all while looking in the mirror. This may be too intense for some people.

        I get SO sad when I’m around anyone – male or female – and they look at themselves in the mirror with disgust and make negative comments. At some point, we need to be able to look in the mirror and speak positively and see beauty in every condition. It’s there somewhere. Hope that makes sense… 🙂

        Reply
  10. Emily Swanson says

    March 31, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    The mirror and the scale are definitely not best friends when it comes to accepting your body; it’s amazing how the more you stay out of looking at them, the easier it is to embrace the body you’ve been given!

    Reply
  11. Nicole @ Laughing My Abs Off says

    March 31, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    What a beautiful and insightful post. I recently turned 20, and a few months before that, my body began to go through changes eerily similar to puberty. My boobs randomly grew a size, my hips got a bit wider, and I generally looked curvier. Thankfully, I’d been on this journey long enough (and have been reading your blog long enough) that I didn’t freak out and instead just bought some new bras and some new dresses and tossed everything that didn’t fit. I realized that though my body looked different, I could still learn to love it. Though what didn’t help was my mom constantly drawing attention to the fact that my body was changing and telling me that I’m “doing something wrong” with my workouts or something. She was convinced my boobs had grown as a result of upper body weight training……yup. I would love if you could do a post sometime on dealing with family members/friends’ well-meaning comments that often can be quite hurtful and get in your head. Thank you always!

    Reply
  12. Ashley V says

    March 31, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    I have a different story from a lot of women. In high school, I went through a period of depression and started binging frequently, so I was in a much larger body than I am now. I yo-yo dieted for years after that, but in my mid-20s I started what I thought was just a “lifestyle” change that developed into a full-blown eating disorder. I had HA, and after several years of my ED, I started to learn more about intuitive eating and therefore gained back a bit of weight. This means I don’t look back at my high school body and miss it, because I’m a little smaller now than I was then. However, I do occasionally look back at my body of just a few years ago and miss it a little bit. I don’t ever want to go back to the life I had then because though I was smaller, I certainly wasn’t happier. Reading blogs like yours and Kylie’s has probably been the most important thing I’ve done to help my (still growing) mindset. I’d never really heard of body checking until I started seeing it in blog posts. I started to notice that I was doing it ALL THE TIME. I’ve definitely made a conscious effort to stop that. Thanks for being such a great source of body positivity!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 2, 2018 at 5:20 pm

      thank you for sharing Ashley! Everyone’s story is different and I know someone is going to find comfort in yours!

      Reply
  13. Imperfectlyperfect says

    April 2, 2018 at 10:40 pm

    You mentioned the example of picturing a mother who is soft and fleshy but what if someone never wants to be a mother and that’s part of the reason they really dislike fat? I know for a fact I never ever want to be pregnant. It just really grosses me out and so to have my body look womanly and fertile is something I’m learning to accept but by no means is it something I find comfort in.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 3, 2018 at 6:26 am

      Different things will resonate for different people so that is totally okay if that doesn’t for you. The analogy isn’t necessarily there for comfort, but rather a reality check against the lies of diet culture. Aside from being a mother, women are genetically designed to be more soft and fleshy than society has told us ….the messages the media surrounds us with tells us to be fit and toned and that body fat is bad. Accepting that can be really really really hard but perhaps looking at it that way could be helpful?

      Reply
  14. Melanie says

    April 4, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Getting clothes that fit makes a huge difference! For a long time I resisted buying “plus size” clothes just because I didn’t want to fit into that label. I stuffed myself into clothes that were too small and made me feel miserable and hate my body. When I finally gave in and bought some plus size pants, I was amazed at how much well-fitting clothes actually INCREASED my confidence and acceptance of my body. Now all I look for are clothes that are comfortable and flattering – who cares about the size?!

    Reply
  15. Avesha says

    February 2, 2020 at 3:24 pm

    Great post!
    Have you ever seen a picture of yourself and its not completely flattering so you make the person delete it (if its not your own)?
    Body checking, yah, its a thing and its not healthy to do all the time, so stopping is smart, or even being conscious of how often you do it and then try to minimize it.
    Ironically today, just a few minutes ago, I threw away a pair of 20 year old jeans. They fit, but not the same as they did 20 year ago (I am 47). My body is changing, I have hips now, which I didn’t have before and although I am working hard to ward off the meno-pot, my body IS still changing and I have to accept it. So I congratulated myself for still being a size 4 but also said, don’t keep clothes that make you feel less than awesome! So they went in the bag for Goodwill and I am ok with that.
    I also think for women there is such a stigma for us with regard to what size means. What I am learning is, I can kill myself at the gym, starve myself and miss out on yummy foods and great drinks or I can practice balance without sacrifice and focus on healthy vs. skinny. I love and actually teach yoga, am a certified barre instructor and I am an avid hiker. I will no longer kill myself to get a workout in, I exercise to feel good and that has been an awesome shift in my life.
    So for all of you who are looking at yourselves and calling yourself gross or fat, stop. If you feel you have a weight problem then work on that and where the issue stems from, but if your body is simply going through natural changes….embrace them.
    Love who you are, madly and unconditionally!
    Avesha

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

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I talk a lot about moving, eating, and living intuitively so you can be well hormonally and live a fulfilling life in line with your values

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A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years o A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years of getting to spend so much time with my kids: aka another way I’m discovering some pockets of peace so my heart & mind & soul don’t crumble under the reality of dependent & emotionally dysregulated tiny humans.  About once a week we go somewhere for baked goods. We drive or walk, buy something buttery & then find a beautiful, relatively quiet outdoor spot where the boys can romp and I can sit and think my thoughts while I watch them play. This past week we were found ourselves at the Wool Factory where the boys threw rocks & whatever else off the bridge while I ate 90% of this almond 🥐 from @coucourachou that will blow your mind. Boys ate the other 10% bc they were busy playing and didn’t ask for more quickly enough 😜  I’m finding *for me* playgrounds have a time & place but they aren’t where I enjoy motherhood & my two toddlers the most. Baked goods & a pretty outdoor spot without high drops my 15 month old could launch himself off of…I’m here for it.
I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the boys to hike out at one of our favorite spots last week and when I ripped it open I was regretting my choice to share them with my kids. @baresnacks randomly sent me a box of snacks and I usually eat free food we receive or give it to a friend/neighbor and move on. But I felt it my duty to tell you about these bc they are THAT GOOD. I’m not getting paid and this isn’t sponsored - I was just shocked at how tasty these were and felt you needed to know. We ate them with some buttery roasted nuts and the combo was 👌🏻 but they are good just on their own.  The boys climbed rocks and swam in the reservoir - leave it to my almost 3 year old to want to strip down naked and fully submerge himself in chilly water on a sixty degree morning. “Mama can I get super nakey?” Sure baby. Sure. This is your childhood.
It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of extended alone time away from the babies to just be. And that isn’t something that’s best for me, it’s an area I gotta grow in. So this afternoon when Nick pushed me out the door and was like - get out of here plzzzz - I walked to my favorite cafe and ordered a thick pastrami sandwich and sat there for a good LONG while before taking a long, peaceful walk in the rain to wrap up the afternoon. Note to self: stop being such a control freak and go be by yourself sometimes.
a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face from @mariebettecafe this morning when she came to get her toddler who played with us all morning and it is v good. even better when paired with an iced latte 😍
#AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing a #AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing about how taking @alignprobiotic regularly has improved my digestive regularity.  And I’m still taking them! I’ve permanently added Align 24/7 Digestive Support* into the roundup of supplements I take before bed (prenatal, vitamin D, choline & DHA - all which help keep me healthy while breastfeeding) so I can keep seeing the benefits.  Just because you see benefits, doesn’t mean you should stop taking your probiotic. Keep taking Align daily (under the supervision and recommendation of your health care provider of course) to keep seeing the benefits!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - one of my favorite parts of Align probiotics is that they don’t need refrigeration AND they come in a convenient little blister pack that has the days labeled. It’s the little things people! #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoo I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoon (91 and muggy in MAY 🤯) when a toddler nap was refused and a baby nap was cut wildly short ....so my tired mom brain pulled out two plastic storage bins, filled them up with soap & hose water and striped ‘em down naked in the yard. Two hours later, it was almost time for an early dinner and I had magically been able to sit for most of that time and we already had baths checked off the list. 👍🏻 I’m archiving this idea for my future self, hope it helps another tired mama out.
#AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about #AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about getting better at doing the basics to care for myself which included taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic regularly.  Probiotics take time to work so I wanted to give it a full month to see the full effects of @alignprobiotic. So here are my honest thoughts: it took a few weeks to notice any differences, but near the end of the month I did notice some changes in my digestive balance - even while traveling! I’m not someone who experiences occasional gas, bloating or abdominal discomfort frequently enough to notice a difference, so I don’t feel like I can comment on how well Align works for those benefits.  All in all though, taking @alignprobiotic was a positive experience and I really appreciated how the capsules don’t need to be stored in the fridge, making it convenient to take them with me anywhere #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Because the swampy VA summer has already begun (it’s in the low 90s today 🥵 lord help) and creeks are our retreat - not only from the heat but also from the noisy world. I need this just (if not more) than they do! We’ll be at the splash pads and pools too, but the quietness of the creek...my mental health is so about it. And it’s hours of play for them! Win win.  A couple things to note: this scene also included a few toddler reminders on finding another direction to throw rocks instead of at his brother - so not all is serene 🤪 and also, yes I am now that mom who buys the same clothing for both kids bc it keeps things simple & i think i kinda like it too 🤷🏻‍♀️
Things I love about midwifery among many: the appo Things I love about midwifery among many: the appointments, no matter how long, feel so unhurried. 
Just walked in from an appointment with my midwife because I was due for a Pap test + an overall wellness visit. My last pap was during my first trimester with Cal which feels like a jillion years ago, but it’s only actually been three years. Life changes so fast! Pre-baby life feels like a whole other life.  I’m wayyyy overdue for a visit to my PCP bc I’ve been under OBGYN or midwifery care for the majority of the past three years while having babies, but I am pretty good with keeping up with my paps. It seems women often think they need pap and/or HPV testing way more frequently than they do (and providers sometimes perform these tests more frequently than necessary - remember more testing doesn’t always mean better outcomes!)  So if you need it, here’s a quick little reminder on this chilly spring Friday afternoon on how often you need this testing (these are the recommendations from ACOG)  Women aged 21–29 years should have a Pap test alone every 3 years. HPV testing is not recommended.  Women aged 30–65 years should have a Pap test and an HPV test (aka co-testing) every 5 years (preferred). It also is acceptable to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.  If you get abnormal results, this testing frequency could change - but for healthy women with normal results, you actually don’t need testing as frequently as you might think. Which is great news for those of you who hate the speculum.  Ok, off to finish up some things on the to-do list (including cleaning this kitchen) during nap time and then come 5 o’clock, crack an IPA with our neighbors 🍻
#AlignPartner Over the past seven months since bec #AlignPartner Over the past seven months since becoming a mom of two, caring for myself has gotten shoved to the back burner. And it's been a challenge to make it a priority. My routine-resistant personality has upsides and downsides when it comes to motherhood. So I'm starting small this year with a consistent bedtime routine that includes taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic and hoping as that becomes consistent, my mornings will naturally shift too.  In short my bedtime currently goes like this….jammies & face care when putting the babies to bed. Before I go to bed (anytime between 9pm and 12am...) I’ll pump, take my supplements and fill my water. Then I go upstairs and brush my teeth. And then get in bed. The kicker: 70% of the time I find myself finishing up tasks on my phone IN BED. I hate this habit.  Back to supplements. This is something I have been able to stick with. On top of fish oil, my prenatal, choline and vitamin D, I recently added @AlignProbiotic 24/7 Digestive Support*§ to see if it helps with abdominal discomfort and regularity because when I don’t drink coffee or am traveling that can get thrown off.  I’ll be taking it every day for the next 28 days since it takes TIME for our bodies to adjust to probiotics - and I'll be taking you guys along with me as I share my honest thoughts. Many people think if they don’t see changes within the first 7-10 days then the probiotic isn’t working, but that’s not the case. I’m giving myself more than just a week or two and instead a full month to see the full benefits. I’ll keep you posted over the next month. Check out my stories to learn more! #MyAlignGutJourney #guthealth
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care f We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care for a nap. Putting baby down was harder than I wanted it to be. Miraculously, I had a moment of clarity as I was covered in tiny humans and decided I wasn’t doing the nap battle thing a on 60 degree, gorgeous, sunny spring day 🙅🏻‍♀️ so I piled both babies into the car half naked, opened the sun roof, put on white noise for them and an audio book for me and drank a kombucha as I drove a meal to a postpartum mama. Thirty five minutes later we had a sleeping baby and a toddler who at least had a rest. Baby transferred without waking HALLELUJAH and although my toddler didn’t nap today (lord help) at least we got soaked in breezy sunshine 😎🤘🏻💆🏻‍♀️
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!

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