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Life, Self Care, Thoughts

April Coffee Date

April 10, 2019 By Robyn 14 Comments

Good morning! It’s April! As it goes up here, we are oscillating between winter and spring weather which feels like a turbulent early twenties relationship. This feels like a really busy month, so I’m strapping in. All good things but I’d be lying straight through my teeth if I wasn’t a little excited for May to roll around. I’ve also had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I need to settle in and mull over them for a bit sometime here soon. But until then, what about a little external processing? Don’t love a good brain dump? See you back here next week!

If you’re into this sort of thing, welcome. Pretend we just plopped down on the couch with some coffee…or wine…

This book 

I realize I’m 17 years late to the game with knowing Laura Vanderkam’s work, but better late than never because THIS BOOK IS CHANGING MY WORLD. I tracked my time a few weeks ago for a whole week (aka wrote down how I spent each 30 minute interval of my week) and yes it is as annoying and tedious as it sounds, but so WORTH IT because it was incredibly sobering. And enlightening. And the act of tracking my time in and of itself shifted how I spent my days. And since tracking + analyzing how I spend my time I came up with a few conclusions.

  1. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with how much time I’m spending in each area of my life – a good amount of mom time, career time and not a lot of “fluff” time where I’m surfing the internet, scrolling social media, etc. Although maybe I spend more time doing fluffy stuff when I’m not actually having to write down what I’m doing? That could definitely be the case…
  2. I’m working less than half the time I was before Cal came, but I want to be working on the blog/private practice less….I just need to outsource (more on that in a sec) and minimize/ignore other seemingly important, yet actually not important at all, stuff.
  3. I’m pretty happy with how far I’m come with email/social media – I spend about an hour to 90 minutes total per day on both of these which I feel like its pretty minimal all things considered…but it has taken me YEARS to get disciplined with closing my inbox and staying off IG for long amounts of time.
  4. I want to get better at confidently saying no to opportunities instead of the “no” accompanied with a side of “but should I have…”
  5. There are many things I do in the business that I don’t actually need to be doing…somebody else can do them, and probably better than I can.

Reading List

I talked about reading > social media a bit in our last coffee date. I just finished Anonymous at the end of March which I really, really enjoyed. The next books on my list are Dare to Lead by Brené Brown, Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist and The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier. I use to think I had no time to read anything other than research articles lol but then I realized I wasted a lot of time scrolling the internet, online shopping, and other things that didn’t actually give me rest. And while I by no means use all my time super well and sometimes I find myself slipping back into unhelpful habits (as in, I found myself scrolling IG in bed last night for twenty minutes before I was like WHAT AM I DOING? Go to sleep, Robyn) I am *trying* to just pick up a book instead of my phone in those spare moments when I’m nursing Cal, standing in line, etc. I actually prefer e-books to paper for this reason – I’m not going to whip out an actual book while standing in line somewhere because that would mean I would have to remember to throw the book in my bag and then dig it out, which will never happen. But I can just pop open the Kindle app on my phone and read from there. A lot of the books I want to read are available through the library as e-books. I love my library card.

On mom/career “balance”

I’m currently lol’ing at my “plan” that sounded so smooth and nice in this post I wrote right before Cal was born.  I did write in that post, “But who knows what will be best – this is all new! I could end up laughing at this plan come spring because it could all be different than expected.”

And while much of what I wrote about is coming to fruition, it looks really messy. And I’m learning to be okay with that when really, I want it all to fit in a nice little box. Life is laughing at me. And coffee is magical. I’ve had a lot of freeing, yet terrifying thoughts about work with Nick and other close people over the past month of so. I plan on sharing a lot of those thoughts with you all in the near future, but I’m going to externally process those with my close people and then share when I make sense of it all. I’m learning sometimes the hard, scary thing is the right thing. Whhyyyyy.

Want to be our intern?

Speaking of outsourcing and what I’m learning in 168 hours, I don’t enjoy admin/social media/blog projects as much as I enjoy teaching and mentoring. So it makes sense for me to trade in hours I would spend doing those and in exchange I get to teach and mentor and provide a learning opportunity. Hannah and Connie were the intern loves of my life and were a positive addition at RLWH. But they moved on to bigger and better things at the end of 2018 – Connie is about to become a rock star RD and Hannah is about to begin nursing school – the same track I took to become an RN and then NP. Between the two of them, they did admin work and other social media/blog related projects they were interested in so now we need another wonderful intern. This time we’ll just be taking one vs two. So, if you’re ambitious, eager to learn and have a passion for intuitive eating and Health At Every Size, we want you on our team. You’ll gain lots of experience in private practice, social media, writing, communications, eating disorders, women’s health, hormones and much more. It’s about 3-4  hours a week and in exchange you’d be building your resume and have a 1 hour one on one mentoring call with me every month. If you’re interested, email me at [email protected] with a few paragraphs of why you’re a good fit for the internship along with your resume. Proximity doesn’t matter so if you’re not in the Boston area, that’s okay!

Alrighty, that’s what’s on my mind this month. What about you??


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Filed Under: Life, Self Care, Thoughts

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Comments

  1. Monica says

    April 10, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    It would be really great if you could pay your interns. I understand that they are learning a lot through this experience, but the admin work has a real monetary value to you and at $15/hour you’d paying them less than $200/month but acknowledging that the work is worth it.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 10, 2019 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Monica, the mentoring call is equivalent to that monetary value (you’ll see that price noted on my website) – plus the additional mentoring I do along the way – past interns have really enjoyed this setup and beyond the six-months to a year they initially commit to if they stay on, I are paid well beyond $15/hr. Thanks for your input.

      Reply
    • Ann says

      April 12, 2019 at 8:21 pm

      100%

      Reply
  2. Connie Weissmuller says

    April 10, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Being your intern was my favorite thing! I have never felt so valued and in a safe space to learn. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn from you and the RLWH team- anyone thinking about applying- DO IT! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Alice says

    April 12, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    Unpaid internships should be illegal. This is a blatant abuse of power. Any responsible manager would mentor an employee as part of their development – that is not a substitute for compensation. Please think about how irresponsible it is to refuse to acknowledge someone’s work with pay and instead only give them one hour of your time per month.

    Reply
    • Bonita says

      April 12, 2019 at 10:48 pm

      Actually, they are illegal: https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/employment-law/pages/is-your-unpaid-internship-program-legal.aspx

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        April 13, 2019 at 7:33 am

        Hi Bonita – it might be helpful to read the entire article you linked to before generalizing that all internships are illegal. Here is a section of that article copied below. This internship I offer meets those criteria. Connie (who I saw just commented above) was paid when I went on maternity leave since of course she was then taking on tasks and responsibilities an employee would. And she was paid more than double of minimum wage. I’m always open to being corrected, but I do think reading the whole article will be helpful. Thank you!

        The U.S. Department of Labor (DOL) has a six-factor test that requires the following criteria to be met for an unpaid internship:

        * The internship is similar to training that would be given in an educational environment.
        * The internship experience is for the benefit of the intern.
        * The intern doesn’t displace regular employees and works under close supervision of existing staff.
        * The employer doesn’t gain an immediate advantage from the intern’s activities—and on occasion the employer’s operations may be impeded by the intern’s activities.
        * The intern isn’t guaranteed a job at the end of the program.
        * The employer and the intern each understand that the internship is unpaid.

        “The goal … is to ensure that companies are not getting around minimum wage and other employee protection laws by calling workers ‘interns,’ when the work and conditions under which the work is being performed is no different than that of actual employees,” Olson said.

        Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 13, 2019 at 7:40 am

      They are illegal if you don’t meet certain criteria (you can see my comment to Bonita). It sounds like that section of the post brought up strong feelings for you Alice – but I hope if you’ve been reading for any period of time that it’s clear I’m not someone who would be abusing power and not acknowledging someone’s work. I’ve delayed getting another intern because while I love being able to teach and mentor them, it is a time investment for me vs just hiring an admin but I enjoy the teaching and mentoring and interns benefit greatly. Interns also have access to all my online courses and recorded talks, they get to listen to client sessions (with permission from the client) and our IE groups (again with permission). Interns are not employees, they choose tasks and projects to work on, school comes before the internship and we give them far more than 1 hour per month of our time. Looking at my post, I could have worded things a bit differently instead of including the word “outsourcing” which perhaps triggered your response? I’ll reword that to be more clears so thank you for bringing that to my attention!

      Reply
  4. Emily Swanson says

    April 30, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    I’m so sorry that this turned into a long discussion on internships, but I can see that your interns, Hannah and Connie, really loved and appreciated every moment of time they were able to intern with you Robyn. If I was on that path, I would seriously love to be an intern for you. 🙂 Your laid back approach and deep love for those that you serve is so evident.

    I hear you on that social media balance. For a few years I used to be really obsessed with it, but I realized how much better it is to be present and use social media as a tool to connect and encourage but not to replace in person relationships.

    Reply
  5. Christina says

    June 19, 2019 at 11:31 am

    Hey Robyn!
    A super delayed comment, but I happened upon this post and was intrigued by your reflections on time management and how your work schedule has changed since little Cal came along.

    I’m 6 months pregnant and trying to make decisions about maternity leave. I plan to return on a part-time basis to fulfill research obligations within the first few months. However, the last step in my graduate training is a 1-year residency (which involves 40+ hours a week and commuting to the hospital) which is inflexible schedule-wise to say the least. I have the option of starting this when my little one is 11 months or 23 months.

    If you don’t mind sharing, at what point did you decide to return to work? Was it on a part-time basis, and what was the reasoning behind the way you did it? If you haven’t do you plan to return full-time?

    Thanks so much!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      July 2, 2019 at 9:03 am

      Hi Christina! For me, I am not working FT and rather have a non-traditional work schedule – doing the business in the pockets of time my husband is home (before he leave for work at 9am, evenings and nap time) and then do per diem nursing work. My husband had 5 weeks of paternity leave that he can take a day here and there when I’m at a conference, speaking, working my NP job etc) — we are so so grateful for that. So we haven’t had to do any childcare yet. FOR ME (every mama is different!) I had this deep within my bones shift when he was born that I wanted to work less than I anticipated. My priorities drastically shifted, which has been a gift, but also something to grapple with since here in Boston most moms work FT and still have growing careers. You know, the tension between running with the world and living in line with your values …so hard sometimes! 🙂 I don’t plan to return to a traditional FT until my kiddos are all in school. Thankfully as an NP, I can be “full time” and work 10, twelve hour shifts a month that includes weekend work and 12pm to 12am shifts so my “full time” work is a bit unique. I hope that helps and know that whatever you choose, you are doing what is best for you, your babe, and your family! xx

      Reply
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  7. wordle unlimited says

    December 18, 2024 at 6:31 am

    Great for the morning

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years o A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years of getting to spend so much time with my kids: aka another way I’m discovering some pockets of peace so my heart & mind & soul don’t crumble under the reality of dependent & emotionally dysregulated tiny humans.  About once a week we go somewhere for baked goods. We drive or walk, buy something buttery & then find a beautiful, relatively quiet outdoor spot where the boys can romp and I can sit and think my thoughts while I watch them play. This past week we were found ourselves at the Wool Factory where the boys threw rocks & whatever else off the bridge while I ate 90% of this almond 🥐 from @coucourachou that will blow your mind. Boys ate the other 10% bc they were busy playing and didn’t ask for more quickly enough 😜  I’m finding *for me* playgrounds have a time & place but they aren’t where I enjoy motherhood & my two toddlers the most. Baked goods & a pretty outdoor spot without high drops my 15 month old could launch himself off of…I’m here for it.
I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the boys to hike out at one of our favorite spots last week and when I ripped it open I was regretting my choice to share them with my kids. @baresnacks randomly sent me a box of snacks and I usually eat free food we receive or give it to a friend/neighbor and move on. But I felt it my duty to tell you about these bc they are THAT GOOD. I’m not getting paid and this isn’t sponsored - I was just shocked at how tasty these were and felt you needed to know. We ate them with some buttery roasted nuts and the combo was 👌🏻 but they are good just on their own.  The boys climbed rocks and swam in the reservoir - leave it to my almost 3 year old to want to strip down naked and fully submerge himself in chilly water on a sixty degree morning. “Mama can I get super nakey?” Sure baby. Sure. This is your childhood.
It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of extended alone time away from the babies to just be. And that isn’t something that’s best for me, it’s an area I gotta grow in. So this afternoon when Nick pushed me out the door and was like - get out of here plzzzz - I walked to my favorite cafe and ordered a thick pastrami sandwich and sat there for a good LONG while before taking a long, peaceful walk in the rain to wrap up the afternoon. Note to self: stop being such a control freak and go be by yourself sometimes.
a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face from @mariebettecafe this morning when she came to get her toddler who played with us all morning and it is v good. even better when paired with an iced latte 😍
#AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing a #AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing about how taking @alignprobiotic regularly has improved my digestive regularity.  And I’m still taking them! I’ve permanently added Align 24/7 Digestive Support* into the roundup of supplements I take before bed (prenatal, vitamin D, choline & DHA - all which help keep me healthy while breastfeeding) so I can keep seeing the benefits.  Just because you see benefits, doesn’t mean you should stop taking your probiotic. Keep taking Align daily (under the supervision and recommendation of your health care provider of course) to keep seeing the benefits!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - one of my favorite parts of Align probiotics is that they don’t need refrigeration AND they come in a convenient little blister pack that has the days labeled. It’s the little things people! #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoo I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoon (91 and muggy in MAY 🤯) when a toddler nap was refused and a baby nap was cut wildly short ....so my tired mom brain pulled out two plastic storage bins, filled them up with soap & hose water and striped ‘em down naked in the yard. Two hours later, it was almost time for an early dinner and I had magically been able to sit for most of that time and we already had baths checked off the list. 👍🏻 I’m archiving this idea for my future self, hope it helps another tired mama out.
#AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about #AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about getting better at doing the basics to care for myself which included taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic regularly.  Probiotics take time to work so I wanted to give it a full month to see the full effects of @alignprobiotic. So here are my honest thoughts: it took a few weeks to notice any differences, but near the end of the month I did notice some changes in my digestive balance - even while traveling! I’m not someone who experiences occasional gas, bloating or abdominal discomfort frequently enough to notice a difference, so I don’t feel like I can comment on how well Align works for those benefits.  All in all though, taking @alignprobiotic was a positive experience and I really appreciated how the capsules don’t need to be stored in the fridge, making it convenient to take them with me anywhere #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Because the swampy VA summer has already begun (it’s in the low 90s today 🥵 lord help) and creeks are our retreat - not only from the heat but also from the noisy world. I need this just (if not more) than they do! We’ll be at the splash pads and pools too, but the quietness of the creek...my mental health is so about it. And it’s hours of play for them! Win win.  A couple things to note: this scene also included a few toddler reminders on finding another direction to throw rocks instead of at his brother - so not all is serene 🤪 and also, yes I am now that mom who buys the same clothing for both kids bc it keeps things simple & i think i kinda like it too 🤷🏻‍♀️
Things I love about midwifery among many: the appo Things I love about midwifery among many: the appointments, no matter how long, feel so unhurried. 
Just walked in from an appointment with my midwife because I was due for a Pap test + an overall wellness visit. My last pap was during my first trimester with Cal which feels like a jillion years ago, but it’s only actually been three years. Life changes so fast! Pre-baby life feels like a whole other life.  I’m wayyyy overdue for a visit to my PCP bc I’ve been under OBGYN or midwifery care for the majority of the past three years while having babies, but I am pretty good with keeping up with my paps. It seems women often think they need pap and/or HPV testing way more frequently than they do (and providers sometimes perform these tests more frequently than necessary - remember more testing doesn’t always mean better outcomes!)  So if you need it, here’s a quick little reminder on this chilly spring Friday afternoon on how often you need this testing (these are the recommendations from ACOG)  Women aged 21–29 years should have a Pap test alone every 3 years. HPV testing is not recommended.  Women aged 30–65 years should have a Pap test and an HPV test (aka co-testing) every 5 years (preferred). It also is acceptable to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.  If you get abnormal results, this testing frequency could change - but for healthy women with normal results, you actually don’t need testing as frequently as you might think. Which is great news for those of you who hate the speculum.  Ok, off to finish up some things on the to-do list (including cleaning this kitchen) during nap time and then come 5 o’clock, crack an IPA with our neighbors 🍻
#AlignPartner Over the past seven months since bec #AlignPartner Over the past seven months since becoming a mom of two, caring for myself has gotten shoved to the back burner. And it's been a challenge to make it a priority. My routine-resistant personality has upsides and downsides when it comes to motherhood. So I'm starting small this year with a consistent bedtime routine that includes taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic and hoping as that becomes consistent, my mornings will naturally shift too.  In short my bedtime currently goes like this….jammies & face care when putting the babies to bed. Before I go to bed (anytime between 9pm and 12am...) I’ll pump, take my supplements and fill my water. Then I go upstairs and brush my teeth. And then get in bed. The kicker: 70% of the time I find myself finishing up tasks on my phone IN BED. I hate this habit.  Back to supplements. This is something I have been able to stick with. On top of fish oil, my prenatal, choline and vitamin D, I recently added @AlignProbiotic 24/7 Digestive Support*§ to see if it helps with abdominal discomfort and regularity because when I don’t drink coffee or am traveling that can get thrown off.  I’ll be taking it every day for the next 28 days since it takes TIME for our bodies to adjust to probiotics - and I'll be taking you guys along with me as I share my honest thoughts. Many people think if they don’t see changes within the first 7-10 days then the probiotic isn’t working, but that’s not the case. I’m giving myself more than just a week or two and instead a full month to see the full benefits. I’ll keep you posted over the next month. Check out my stories to learn more! #MyAlignGutJourney #guthealth
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care f We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care for a nap. Putting baby down was harder than I wanted it to be. Miraculously, I had a moment of clarity as I was covered in tiny humans and decided I wasn’t doing the nap battle thing a on 60 degree, gorgeous, sunny spring day 🙅🏻‍♀️ so I piled both babies into the car half naked, opened the sun roof, put on white noise for them and an audio book for me and drank a kombucha as I drove a meal to a postpartum mama. Thirty five minutes later we had a sleeping baby and a toddler who at least had a rest. Baby transferred without waking HALLELUJAH and although my toddler didn’t nap today (lord help) at least we got soaked in breezy sunshine 😎🤘🏻💆🏻‍♀️
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!

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