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Life, Self Care, Thoughts

April Coffee Date

April 10, 2019 By Robyn 13 Comments

Good morning! It’s April! As it goes up here, we are oscillating between winter and spring weather which feels like a turbulent early twenties relationship. This feels like a really busy month, so I’m strapping in. All good things but I’d be lying straight through my teeth if I wasn’t a little excited for May to roll around. I’ve also had a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I need to settle in and mull over them for a bit sometime here soon. But until then, what about a little external processing? Don’t love a good brain dump? See you back here next week!

If you’re into this sort of thing, welcome. Pretend we just plopped down on the couch with some coffee…or wine…

This book 

I realize I’m 17 years late to the game with knowing Laura Vanderkam’s work, but better late than never because THIS BOOK IS CHANGING MY WORLD. I tracked my time a few weeks ago for a whole week (aka wrote down how I spent each 30 minute interval of my week) and yes it is as annoying and tedious as it sounds, but so WORTH IT because it was incredibly sobering. And enlightening. And the act of tracking my time in and of itself shifted how I spent my days. And since tracking + analyzing how I spend my time I came up with a few conclusions.

  1. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with how much time I’m spending in each area of my life – a good amount of mom time, career time and not a lot of “fluff” time where I’m surfing the internet, scrolling social media, etc. Although maybe I spend more time doing fluffy stuff when I’m not actually having to write down what I’m doing? That could definitely be the case…
  2. I’m working less than half the time I was before Cal came, but I want to be working on the blog/private practice less….I just need to outsource (more on that in a sec) and minimize/ignore other seemingly important, yet actually not important at all, stuff.
  3. I’m pretty happy with how far I’m come with email/social media – I spend about an hour to 90 minutes total per day on both of these which I feel like its pretty minimal all things considered…but it has taken me YEARS to get disciplined with closing my inbox and staying off IG for long amounts of time.
  4. I want to get better at confidently saying no to opportunities instead of the “no” accompanied with a side of “but should I have…”
  5. There are many things I do in the business that I don’t actually need to be doing…somebody else can do them, and probably better than I can.

Reading List

I talked about reading > social media a bit in our last coffee date. I just finished Anonymous at the end of March which I really, really enjoyed. The next books on my list are Dare to Lead by Brené Brown, Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist and The Coaching Habit by Michael Stanier. I use to think I had no time to read anything other than research articles lol but then I realized I wasted a lot of time scrolling the internet, online shopping, and other things that didn’t actually give me rest. And while I by no means use all my time super well and sometimes I find myself slipping back into unhelpful habits (as in, I found myself scrolling IG in bed last night for twenty minutes before I was like WHAT AM I DOING? Go to sleep, Robyn) I am *trying* to just pick up a book instead of my phone in those spare moments when I’m nursing Cal, standing in line, etc. I actually prefer e-books to paper for this reason – I’m not going to whip out an actual book while standing in line somewhere because that would mean I would have to remember to throw the book in my bag and then dig it out, which will never happen. But I can just pop open the Kindle app on my phone and read from there. A lot of the books I want to read are available through the library as e-books. I love my library card.

On mom/career “balance”

I’m currently lol’ing at my “plan” that sounded so smooth and nice in this post I wrote right before Cal was born.  I did write in that post, “But who knows what will be best – this is all new! I could end up laughing at this plan come spring because it could all be different than expected.”

And while much of what I wrote about is coming to fruition, it looks really messy. And I’m learning to be okay with that when really, I want it all to fit in a nice little box. Life is laughing at me. And coffee is magical. I’ve had a lot of freeing, yet terrifying thoughts about work with Nick and other close people over the past month of so. I plan on sharing a lot of those thoughts with you all in the near future, but I’m going to externally process those with my close people and then share when I make sense of it all. I’m learning sometimes the hard, scary thing is the right thing. Whhyyyyy.

Want to be our intern?

Speaking of outsourcing and what I’m learning in 168 hours, I don’t enjoy admin/social media/blog projects as much as I enjoy teaching and mentoring. So it makes sense for me to trade in hours I would spend doing those and in exchange I get to teach and mentor and provide a learning opportunity. Hannah and Connie were the intern loves of my life and were a positive addition at RLWH. But they moved on to bigger and better things at the end of 2018 – Connie is about to become a rock star RD and Hannah is about to begin nursing school – the same track I took to become an RN and then NP. Between the two of them, they did admin work and other social media/blog related projects they were interested in so now we need another wonderful intern. This time we’ll just be taking one vs two. So, if you’re ambitious, eager to learn and have a passion for intuitive eating and Health At Every Size, we want you on our team. You’ll gain lots of experience in private practice, social media, writing, communications, eating disorders, women’s health, hormones and much more. It’s about 3-4  hours a week and in exchange you’d be building your resume and have a 1 hour one on one mentoring call with me every month. If you’re interested, email me at [email protected] with a few paragraphs of why you’re a good fit for the internship along with your resume. Proximity doesn’t matter so if you’re not in the Boston area, that’s okay!

Alrighty, that’s what’s on my mind this month. What about you??


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Filed Under: Life, Self Care, Thoughts

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Comments

  1. Monica says

    April 10, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    It would be really great if you could pay your interns. I understand that they are learning a lot through this experience, but the admin work has a real monetary value to you and at $15/hour you’d paying them less than $200/month but acknowledging that the work is worth it.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 10, 2019 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Monica, the mentoring call is equivalent to that monetary value (you’ll see that price noted on my website) – plus the additional mentoring I do along the way – past interns have really enjoyed this setup and beyond the six-months to a year they initially commit to if they stay on, I are paid well beyond $15/hr. Thanks for your input.

      Reply
    • Ann says

      April 12, 2019 at 8:21 pm

      100%

      Reply
  2. Connie Weissmuller says

    April 10, 2019 at 3:06 pm

    Being your intern was my favorite thing! I have never felt so valued and in a safe space to learn. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to learn from you and the RLWH team- anyone thinking about applying- DO IT! 🙂

    Reply
  3. Alice says

    April 12, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    Unpaid internships should be illegal. This is a blatant abuse of power. Any responsible manager would mentor an employee as part of their development – that is not a substitute for compensation. Please think about how irresponsible it is to refuse to acknowledge someone’s work with pay and instead only give them one hour of your time per month.

    Reply
    • Bonita says

      April 12, 2019 at 10:48 pm

      Actually, they are illegal: https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/employment-law/pages/is-your-unpaid-internship-program-legal.aspx

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        April 13, 2019 at 7:33 am

        Hi Bonita – it might be helpful to read the entire article you linked to before generalizing that all internships are illegal. Here is a section of that article copied below. This internship I offer meets those criteria. Connie (who I saw just commented above) was paid when I went on maternity leave since of course she was then taking on tasks and responsibilities an employee would. And she was paid more than double of minimum wage. I’m always open to being corrected, but I do think reading the whole article will be helpful. Thank you!

        The U.S. Department of Labor (DOL) has a six-factor test that requires the following criteria to be met for an unpaid internship:

        * The internship is similar to training that would be given in an educational environment.
        * The internship experience is for the benefit of the intern.
        * The intern doesn’t displace regular employees and works under close supervision of existing staff.
        * The employer doesn’t gain an immediate advantage from the intern’s activities—and on occasion the employer’s operations may be impeded by the intern’s activities.
        * The intern isn’t guaranteed a job at the end of the program.
        * The employer and the intern each understand that the internship is unpaid.

        “The goal … is to ensure that companies are not getting around minimum wage and other employee protection laws by calling workers ‘interns,’ when the work and conditions under which the work is being performed is no different than that of actual employees,” Olson said.

        Reply
    • Robyn says

      April 13, 2019 at 7:40 am

      They are illegal if you don’t meet certain criteria (you can see my comment to Bonita). It sounds like that section of the post brought up strong feelings for you Alice – but I hope if you’ve been reading for any period of time that it’s clear I’m not someone who would be abusing power and not acknowledging someone’s work. I’ve delayed getting another intern because while I love being able to teach and mentor them, it is a time investment for me vs just hiring an admin but I enjoy the teaching and mentoring and interns benefit greatly. Interns also have access to all my online courses and recorded talks, they get to listen to client sessions (with permission from the client) and our IE groups (again with permission). Interns are not employees, they choose tasks and projects to work on, school comes before the internship and we give them far more than 1 hour per month of our time. Looking at my post, I could have worded things a bit differently instead of including the word “outsourcing” which perhaps triggered your response? I’ll reword that to be more clears so thank you for bringing that to my attention!

      Reply
  4. Emily Swanson says

    April 30, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    I’m so sorry that this turned into a long discussion on internships, but I can see that your interns, Hannah and Connie, really loved and appreciated every moment of time they were able to intern with you Robyn. If I was on that path, I would seriously love to be an intern for you. 🙂 Your laid back approach and deep love for those that you serve is so evident.

    I hear you on that social media balance. For a few years I used to be really obsessed with it, but I realized how much better it is to be present and use social media as a tool to connect and encourage but not to replace in person relationships.

    Reply
  5. Christina says

    June 19, 2019 at 11:31 am

    Hey Robyn!
    A super delayed comment, but I happened upon this post and was intrigued by your reflections on time management and how your work schedule has changed since little Cal came along.

    I’m 6 months pregnant and trying to make decisions about maternity leave. I plan to return on a part-time basis to fulfill research obligations within the first few months. However, the last step in my graduate training is a 1-year residency (which involves 40+ hours a week and commuting to the hospital) which is inflexible schedule-wise to say the least. I have the option of starting this when my little one is 11 months or 23 months.

    If you don’t mind sharing, at what point did you decide to return to work? Was it on a part-time basis, and what was the reasoning behind the way you did it? If you haven’t do you plan to return full-time?

    Thanks so much!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      July 2, 2019 at 9:03 am

      Hi Christina! For me, I am not working FT and rather have a non-traditional work schedule – doing the business in the pockets of time my husband is home (before he leave for work at 9am, evenings and nap time) and then do per diem nursing work. My husband had 5 weeks of paternity leave that he can take a day here and there when I’m at a conference, speaking, working my NP job etc) — we are so so grateful for that. So we haven’t had to do any childcare yet. FOR ME (every mama is different!) I had this deep within my bones shift when he was born that I wanted to work less than I anticipated. My priorities drastically shifted, which has been a gift, but also something to grapple with since here in Boston most moms work FT and still have growing careers. You know, the tension between running with the world and living in line with your values …so hard sometimes! 🙂 I don’t plan to return to a traditional FT until my kiddos are all in school. Thankfully as an NP, I can be “full time” and work 10, twelve hour shifts a month that includes weekend work and 12pm to 12am shifts so my “full time” work is a bit unique. I hope that helps and know that whatever you choose, you are doing what is best for you, your babe, and your family! xx

      Reply
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    August 7, 2019 at 9:35 pm

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    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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I talk a lot about moving, eating, and living intuitively so you can be well hormonally and live a fulfilling life in line with your values

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🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 two babies are asleep at the same time in their beds (and not on me) for the FIRST TIME IN 7657 DAYS and dear lord I could cry tears of relief straight into this latte and bowl of chocolate chips bc I woke up this morning exhausted and weary and told Nick I didn’t want to parent today 🤣 Not even calling this self care. It’s sanity right now. And even if it lasts 5 minutes it will be 5 minutes of freaking glory. p.s. yes that brick is crooked bc v uneven floors are part of the charmed package of this old house
Learning over and over again in this season that f Learning over and over again in this season that feels unsettled and chaotic and longgggggg that sometimes, you just need the viewpoint of a toddler to remind you that the seemingly insignificant things & moments really are....straight up magical. And that yes, these mundane days are packed full of goodness & beauty if I keep my eyes fixed on what actually matters.
Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, wowww 🤯 Asked at least six people where to find something and their opinion on all the options bc holy decision fatigue. Nursed my newborn on the floor of the paint aisle. And BLESS my new contractor friend Matt I found in the lumber section that pushed my cart around and helped me avoid the mistake of buying exterior wood for some DIY bathroom shelves.
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I’m giving all our bathrooms a DIY makeover and I couldn’t be more of a rookie. So shoutout to all my Lowe’s buddies and YouTube 😜 You’re making this happen.
We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t plan to close on a house 10 weeks after having a baby, but here we are. And we are so, so grateful.  And I’m also terrified. We’ve moved three times and lived in three different states since we got married three years ago. After six years spent living in New York City and Boston, moving back to Charlottesville was really, really hard for me. I cried a lot those first six months because my heart ached for the northeast and for city life. I wanted to pack up and go back to Boston ASAP. It felt so different and so quiet here and at times, very lonely. Even though it felt like the next right step, I second guessed our decision A LOT.
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But here we are 10 months later ready to continue investing in this neighborhood we’ve come to love. And this community of people that have become so dear. Ten months later and it feels so, so right. And although committing to settling down here for a good bit feels really scary to me, it also brings so much peace to know we aren’t moving again anytime soon. We are here to plant and grow. And raise our babies in this house as we make it a home. It’s also really fun to have one of your best friends be your realtor. We love you @kelli.teter.nesting 🤗
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Now, to see if we make it out of this kitchen renovation all in one piece 🤪
my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in ghee with sautéed spinach (also in ghee) and an english muffin with more ghee + some sort of jam on half for that sweet & savory combo. we discovered these local english muffins (from The Bread Basket) and they are doughy and delicious and we are obsessed.
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I’ve found that I need a solid source of protein and lots of fat for breakfast to keep me full while breastfeeding this time around vs with Cal, I was so into big bowls of pb & chocolate chip banana oatmeal. just goes to show our bodies know what they need and change cravings accordingly. also, just a psa: go pick up the maple butter from @traderjoes bc it is bonkers 🤤 and lastly, shout out to my husband bc a lot of mornings he is making this bfast for me while I nurse & try to pull myself out of bed - don’t for a moment think I’ve got it together 🤪
I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brai I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brain of if/how to use this platform in a way that aligns with how I want to live my life. I’m finding it tricky to discern that when 90% of my use on this app is for professional purposes. But I’m not sure if even professionally, it makes sense for me. Because I feel more aligned with what matters to me when I’m not regularly present here.  I’m not really sure what things will look like moving forward, but for right now I’m here to share with you that I somehow found some spare minutes between newborn & toddler life to write a post with some semi-coherent thoughts on life lately. 🤪 You can head there by clicking the link in my profile.
I’ve been completely disconnected from social me I’ve been completely disconnected from social media and that’s been vital for me during this tender postpartum period of transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2. But today, I’m bopping on briefly to share how Teddy entered this wild world with you - if you’re into a lengthy, detailed birth story, the link in my profile will lead you to the blog post 💙
Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our famil Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our family at 12:48am on Wednesday after a quick and swift labor & birth at home 💙 Thank you Father for another healthy baby boy & your abundant, tender love for us. What an undeserved gift.
Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his due date, but also....LET’S GO DUDE. Still over here eating dates (check out the @ebbirth article on the research showing dates can help ripen (aka soften) your cervix, reduce the need for medical intervention in labor and can overall, improve birth outcomes) drinking red raspberry leaf tea and sleeping as much as possible with a 19 month old running around. And also trying to survive July in VA without public pools or splash pads bc it is BLAZIN HERE (and I’m a wuss with the heat 🤪)
#AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from ti #AlignPartner A huge plus of transitioning from tiny-apartment-city-living to house living is this screened in porch. This little oasis sold me on renting this house when we moved from Boston to Virginia back in November. I dreamed about this becoming our outdoor living room for at least half the year (because also, summer comes earlier and stays later down here - which has a its pros and cons 😆)  During Cal’s afternoon nap, I set up shop out here with my computer + something refreshing to drink and get a little bit of work done before my brain turns to mush and/or a find myself napping instead of working. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can only drink so much water during the hot months before I’m over it so I’ve been mixing it up with either seltzer + juice, iced tea or @alignprobiotic’s new Kombucha On-the-Go powder sticks - all you do is mix one of the packets into ice cold water and stir. Then sip!  With quarantine life, we aren’t on-the-go much these days, but it’s still nice to have a nonperishable drink option always around. Flavor wise, it’s like a fizzy iced tea with a zingy, refreshing lemon ginger flavor.  I think it’s important to know that not all probiotic supplements are created equal. They all aren’t backed by evidence, but the Align brand is and could be something helpful for you if you feel like you need some digestive support - but talk to your healthcare provider first. I try to incorporate probiotics into what I eat - and that mostly comes in drink vs food form. Tell me how you’re staying hydrated in the comments ...because these days, it’s the little things 🤪 #AlignProbiotic **Use as Directed
Lunches for the past month or so have been some re Lunches for the past month or so have been some rendition of a sandwich + chips + fruit. SUMMERTIME 😎I’ve switched to open faced only bc there just ain’t much room left in there for food at 38.5 weeks 🤰🏻90% of the time at the end of a meal, no matter how “small” the portion, I’m feeling stuffed and like the food is in my throat (just what you wanted to read on this lovely Tuesday afternoon 🤪) but my point here is...intuitive eating doesn’t mean find-the-perfect-fullness and eat-only-when-hungry. Sometimes it means eating when you’re not hungry and feeling overly full often and trying to eat foods lower in fiber and higher in calories.
Found this photo on my camera roll today from a wa Found this photo on my camera roll today from a walk I took a month or so ago. Between quarantine and spending my days with a toddler, life is much less hurried and a lot more mundane these days. But those two things are helping me to stop & notice and to chill out on checking things off my to do list and instead just being present with whatever is in front of me. I want to have the curiosity & wonder my 18 month old has as I go about my day - with my surroundings and people I encounter and really, everything. Life is way more meaningful that way. Ending my evening with that reminder and a white chocolate chip cinnamon blondie covered in vanilla ice cream before I go take an Epsom salt bath and read.

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