A couple months ago I was on the phone with some RDs, including Kylie, when she said, “It’s not the word healthy that’s the problem, we have to redefine the word healthy.” It was a moment where we were all like yessssssss. Nailed it.
In our culture, we have stuck healthy in a box. If I were to ask people what they thought healthy meant, I’m sure I would mainly hear about how it means eating your vegetables and exercising most days (or every day) of the week. But sadly, I’d go so far as to say we think of healthy as…
Eating a certain number of calories.
Starting every day with a chia-matcha-kale-coconut-spirulinia-flax-ginger smoothie.
Waking up at 5am to workout no matter what time you got to bed.
Saying no to that piece of cake or guac and chips because you’re “being healthy.”
Only eating at or before certain times.
Skipping happy hour in lieu of a sweaty workout.
Not eating refined sugar or gluten or grains…or whatever.
As a cultural whole, we have a very narrow view of healthy. We have muddled it down to primarily focus on food and exercise. We might entertain sleep or stress or our social life or emotional state for a little if somebody brings it up, but we rarely give it the attention it deserves.
Health is so not a sphere of kale and sweat.
When I talk with clients fixated on a certain pant size or number on the scale because that’s where they have felt good physically and where they felt confident I’ll almost always ask, “But how did you feel emotionally? And how were your relationships? How were you doing as a whole person.” The response is usually significantly different.
Because being healthy isn’t about just what you look like. Or your pant size. Or how many miles you run a week or how many yoga classes you take. Or even how many vegetables you eat and how many carbs you don’t eat. It’s just not. And until we get out of our food and exercise hyperfocused bubble, our society will continue to be chained to unrealistic expectations of “healthy.”
Eating salad for lunch and dinner and working out every day or almost every day isn’t necessarily healthy. Being a size 0 or 2 or 4 or 6 or whatever size doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Is your body suppose to be a size 2? Does that exercise feel good to your body. Do you enjoy it? If you hate running – stop running. If you don’t like yoga – stop doing it. I freaking hate green juice. It’s the nastiest thing ever and tastes like overly fertilized grass, so I don’t drink it. Don’t do things that don’t feel right to you.
How is your social life? Do you feel present and engaged in conversations? Healthy looks like spontaneously meetings friends for dinner and ordering what looks good on the menu. Healthy means enjoying that BBQ without a second thought or bopping into an ice cream shop simply because it’s 90 degrees and a cone sounds amazing. Healthy means eating your salad and sweet potato because it’s awesome. And it also means eating a cupcake because it’s awesome too. And you don’t judge the salad or the cupcake differently. It’s food. And food doesn’t do things to our bodies, it does things for bodies.
How is your relationship with your body. It doesn’t matter if you’re the fittest and leanest you’ve ever been. Do you love your body? Healthy is recognizing and appreciating everything your body can do, not what it looks like. Function over form. Healthy means eating foods because they nourish you or because they taste good, not eating foods in an attempt to carve your body into a particular shape.
Healthy means sleep is a priority. Healthy means you practice self care. Healthy means you’re aware of your boundaries and limitations and you respect those – because you’re confident in how you were created and what your purpose is in this life. Healthy isn’t easily influenced by other’s opinions or by an internet article. Healthy instead is rooted in a fundamental awareness of what is good for you.
You could run marathons and do Crossfit and eat the cleanest diet ever, but still be exhausted or lonely or ridden with anxiety or all of the above. You could also love to walk, enjoy ice cream with your kids and turn off work by 5pm every night. I’d say the latter is healthier.
We have to redefine how we think of healthy. It isn’t an isolated event. Or an isolated food choice. And it isn’t just about food and exercise or our physical appearance. It’s about taking a step back and look at the whole entire big picture.
Eatings foods that nourish your body and nourish your soul.
Knowing that all foods are part of a healthy diet.
Exercising because you love your body and because you enjoy it.
Saying no to things because you know your boundaries.
Saying yes to things because you want to and not feeling guilty about it.
Loving and appreciating your body no matter what your pant size.
Being kind to yourself. This life isn’t about perfect, it’s about messing up and growing from it.
Protecting your sleep. Setting up boundaries so you know you’re rested.
It’s not always perfect, and there are realms of our lives that might not ever look how we wish. I’d love to go to bed at 9pm, but that’s not happening. Instead it’s about looking at the whole picture – because health is so much more than food and exercise.
I absolutely love this post Robyn! It’s all so true, “healthy” has been taken way too far into this whole new thing that isn’t even actually healthy anymore. I totally agree that doing certain things just because they are “healthy” in society’s standards, but they aren’t something you enjoy or want to do just sets us up for feeling bad and unhappy with ourselves. We all need to focus on what makes US happy and healthy. Keep up the good work 🙂
Keep doing what you’re doing lady. Your message is so so relevant.
Your posts are always the best posts 🙂 I love everything about this!
I agree wholeheartedly!!
Coming from a background of anorexia, disordered eating, excessive exercise, basically anything UNhealthy, I’ve been there done that… Who knows what healthy is at all?! This past year has been a period of transformative growth in all aspects of my life, namely health though. I’m starting realize that healthy is an ambiguous term. It has no real meaning because it’s individualized to every person. We are all so unique and what works for me is not going to work for my mom or my brother. Does that make it frustrating when I see my brother eat TWO burritos at dinner and still go out for dessert? Sometimes, but I’ve learned that’s not what health is about. It’s an internal journey. You’ve helped me realize that through your posts. Love your thoughts as always!
This is so good! Indeed these reminders. I can preach it and teach it and coach it for everybody else but for me, it’s tough. I’m on vacation, and every picture taken of me I look at and worry that I look fat. But I know I need to be enjoying my time with my family and enjoying letting my body relax and refresh and reset. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been shamed TWICE in the past week by two different cashiers because I decided to buy something deemed conventionally “unhealthy” (i.e. a candy bar or ice cream). Having struggled with anorexia in the past, I know something like that would have devastated me a few years ago. Luckily I’m a good place now where I brush it off and attribute it to the person being unkind (as well as uninformed), but it makes me sad what that kind of thinking and those words could do to others who are struggling with food and their body. This kind of message is what needs to be shouted from the rooftops! Thank you for your amazing and refreshing perspective that is so needed for all of us.
oh my gosh! is that actually happening? Being shamed because of your food choices at the market? Really?
In the European countries i feel safer. We dont look at healthy as such extreme way as american people do.
Recently, my boyf was travelling around Manhattamn ( i am from Spain) and the only thing he was reminding me every phone call was: “My baby, this people is so obssesed with the fitness and clean eating!”. Remember!My boyf is a non disordered eater.
I can totally see that! When I was in Italy you never ever ever saw a gym or food labels – it was refreshing and super enlightening
Every single post you publish just speaks to me Robyn!! I absolutely agree. It took me SO LONG to give up running because I hated it so much, but I’m so glad I did! I also agree that “being healthy” looks different on everyone. PREACH TO ALL OF THIS!!!
I needed this more than anything today. Thank you.
So glad it resonated 🙂 Have a restful Sunday Laura!
Brilliant! So true, our view of ‘healthy’ has become so strange, when you really think about it.
Interestingly, when I was at a weight/size I was comfortable with, I actually was exercising most days and eating pretty much as I liked, without counting calories or overthinking. I wasn’t restricting myself. Missing workouts wasn’t the end of the world and going out for nachos wasn’t something I felt guilty about. Fast forward to now, and I beat myself up for doing those ‘unhealthy’ things.
Thank you for this post and for making me think. This is a great reminder to look after myself better and try to be more like the person I was then, because I’m pretty sure she was a lot happier and healthier!
Yes yes yes. Thank you for this, Robyn!
A little personal, a little weird because I don’t “know” you but I’m all about lifting other women up for doing great things so I need to say this. Your blog has been so good for me. There was a time my sophomore year of college (I’m going into my senior year now) where I was always staying in, going to bed at 8 pm because I was so hungry, compulsively working out every morning and just plain unhappy. I followed lots of fitness blogs and despite my extreme lifestyle always felt like I wasn’t doing “enough” to be “healthy.” I found your blog at the beginning of my junior year as I started to take a 180. I know that I wanted to live a life of more freedom, and I told myself that if I was still this extreme when I was 25, I’d be upset. The more I read your words and watched your videos, the more I started fighting for myself. I truly believe your blog helped me to live life. So much that last semester was the best time of my life- more late nights at the bars (#college), runs when it felt good, finally enjoying movie nights with my boyfriend again, cookie and wine nights with friends…its LIFE and I love it. And I’m a few pounds heavier and I LOVE myself for it because the pounds represent the time that I decided to fight for myself instead of against my body. …This comment is messy because I’m on my phone in a coffee shop across the country (whole milk latte, yus please). But I just need you to know that you’re making so many women happier and more free and that’s incredible. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing. Ever. Thank you times a million.
Wow, your story has so much in common with mine; the college nights spent going to bed early and eschewing fun times in order to remain “healthy” took a toll on me as well. I haven’t gotten fully to then point you have described in your life but I’m slowly making my way there! Thank you for sharing your story.
Oh Abby, what a sweet and encouraging comment – thank YOU! And thank you for sharing your beautiful story of transformation and FREEDOM. You have no idea how many women need to hear this! College is the BEST TIME EVER and you’ll never get it back – I’m so glad you’re enjoying it fully now, I’m jeal 🙂 thank you for reading and following and supporting! xo
This is so great, so perfect, so spot on; as a Dietetic Intern, days away from graduating and a mere weeks away from taking my registration exam, this is everything RD’s should believe in and preach to their clients. THANK YOU for writing this and for sharing this with the internet world!
thank you! 🙂 Congrats and GOOD LUCK! You’ll be amazing 🙂
Well spoken, my friend. Love the message here.
This is absolutely amazing! It’s taken me a long time to realize these things, but wow what a world of difference it has made! I’ll definitely be sharing this post…its a must-read!
thank you so much for sharing heather! 🙂
This might be the best thing I’ve read this month. Absolutely agree with everything you said. Your outlook on health and life is so inspiring and refreshing. Thank you thank you thank you!
So glad you enjoyed it! 😉
This is such a great post. Its hard enough to find balance and the fact that “health” is defined in such a strict way in our society is crazy. I feel like no matter where I go, what I eat and how I act is judged. Whether it be a “healthy” or “unhealthy” choice, everyone wants to know what Im doing since I am in the dietetics field. Its difficult, so this is a great thing to remember.
I SO get that — when I’m drinking wine or eating cake people are like, “wait, what?” I’m like, “I AM A HUMAN!” 🙂
Fabulous.
Right on. An awesome read. From one RD to another, you totally nailed it. This is so true, and is something I PREACH everyday in clinic.
Aw thank you for the encouragement!
It’s “supposed,” not “suppose.”
As a new RD and someone recovered from anorexia, I can say that this type of thinking is EXACTLY what I hope to practice in my future. Bookmarking this so I can share it on my blog and hopefully in my professional life. So glad I found your page!
Although I appreciate your article, and your positivity, this is simply not true. Health and what you put into your body is extremely important. Taking care of yourself is not eating crap food. I’m sorry, but if you’re overweight, it’s your body’s way of telling you that you are not healthy. If you eat from the earth and eat naturally, it is impossible to be overweight. Everyone should love themselves, always, I do agree with that.as long as everyone is educated on what the physical display of their body means. Everyone should be fully aware that food is important. Cupcakes are not part of a healthy diet. Get a clue! Yea, a cupcake every once in a while isn’t going to kill you. But that’s not good for you. Sugar is known to cause and feed cancer. The problem is that everyone lives in la la land and wants to play this “ignorance is bliss” card, but when the leading causes of death in the US are heart disease and cancer, you really must be aware of what causes these two diseases. It’s the kind of FOOD you ingest. And exercise works to release cancer blocking endorphins! Making exercise important as well. There are a lot of things in life we don’t want to do; exercise is one. But it’s a necessary evil for good health. Period. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. Yes, sleep is INCREDIBLY important, yes being stress free and HAPPY is VERY important, but you also have to take accountability for your body and your actual HEALTH, which means being smart, doing research, and eating right. Exercise even in the form of walking is acceptable and everyone can walk. People have choices; to be heathy or to live in risk and be unhealthy. I just wish posts like this would stop encouraging people to think that a cupcake is part of a healthy diet. This is what is killing people. Every. Day. Inform yourself.
I think her point is to find balance. Some of us become so obsessed with “I can’t eat that–it’s not healthy!” that we miss out on enjoying something like a cupcake. She’s not advocating eating nothing but cupcakes or living a sedentary lifestyle. She’s saying that it’s okay to have a cupcake sometimes. It’s okay to skip a workout occasionally. She’s looking at the big picture. I’d rather have an occasional cupcake than to obsess over every bite of food that goes into my mouth and feel guilty because I ate one thing that isn’t considered “healthy”. I’d rather be a moderate exerciser and eater that can spend time with my kids and with friends than someone who is so obsessed with “healthy” that I miss out on those things. Emotional and mental health is just as important, and that is her point. Nowhere did she say it’s okay to eat nothing but cupcakes and not ever exercise.