The Real Life RD

helping you find peace with food and your natural body size

  • the RD & NP
  • Online Courses
  • Women’s Wellness
  • Speaking
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • RSS
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
Eating Disorders, Food Freedom, Intuitive Eating, Nutrition, Self Care

How to Overcome Food Comparison & Shaming

October 16, 2017 By Robyn 46 Comments

The more I immerse myself in the anti-diet world the less vulnerable I feel to diet messages. Diet culture still surrounds me, but my mind feels wrapped in anti diet bubble wrap so it’s protected from diet messaging. But when I find myself in new situations or spending time with new people, I more often than not (which is a sad reality that I hope changes in our generation) overhear so much diet talk. It’s a stark reminder of the prevalent diet culture and language unless we take an active role in disengaging from it.

Some things I’ve heard that have stuck out lately are…

“I read that _____ causes your body to _____.”

“I feel so full. Ughhh. I’m eating all the vegetables next week.”

“My friend has such an awesome body and she says that she eats _____ .”

And then you wonder, “Wait, should I have eaten that?”

And most frequently…. “Ugh. I shouldn’t have eaten that.”

Maybe you’ve found yourself at dinner with your friend and she isn’t that hungry so she orders a couple appetizers for her meal. You had your mind set on the hamburger and fries. You were looking forward to that burger until she ordered appetizers and now you’re second guessing yourself.

Maybe you eat a cookie without hesitation, until your friend starts talking about how she is going to workout extra hard the next day to burn off that cookie. And now you’re wondering if maybe you should too?

Should you drink that second glass of wine? Why is she ordering a salad? If I finish this entire plate does that make me gluttonous? Or was my body simply hungry for that amount of food?

I’ve been there. Justifying my food decisions based on another person or some other arbitrary food belief. Maybe you have too?

Food comparison and food shaming sucks the pleasure and joy right out of food.

How can we overcome this? How do you quiet the noise, tune into your own body’s wisdom and in turn…build confidence in how you nourish and care for yourself?

When other parts of our lives feel chaotic or messy….we often look to food as something to control and manipulate. And when we start to feel a feeling that we don’t want to feel because it’s painful and uncomfortable….we often use food to avoid experiencing that emotion or feeling. Either way, food is used to satisfy an unmet need.

In both my own experience and in practice I’ve observed a common awkward and uncomfortable, yet freeing and relieving transition that occurs when we give ourselves permission to eat according to hunger + satisfaction instead of diet rules. It feels liberating to not be under arbitrary food and exercise expectations…but it’s also an uphill battle to stop comparing what we eat to other people. We live in a culture where pride and accomplishment are associated with eating less, suppressing hunger and controlling the food that goes into our mouths. There’s pride in working against our own physiologic needs. Doesn’t that sound odd?

Given our culture, it’s almost natural and expected to feel guilt or shame when eating more than those around you. We have attached so much morality to food.

How do we get to place where food is completely neutral? Because food is just food. Yes, it’s meant for nourishment. But also for pleasure and satisfaction and enjoyment and experience. It has nothing to do with self-discipline, willpower, identity and worth.

When I was in the beginning of this intuitive eating journey and embracing my natural body size, I would often think about what I wanted to come to mind when people thought about me. I didn’t want others to associate dieting, a “perfect” body, clean eater, avid runner, vegan or anything else like that with me. When people thought of me I didn’t want the first thing that came to mind to be about food rules or my body. How uninteresting!

I wanted people to think of SO many other things when they thought of me. Hobbies or passions or personality traits or other interesting things. Anything but my food and exercise habits or my body size. If you’re struggling with identity, food comparison or morality maybe that’s helpful for you too.

It’s easy to get wrapped in up in ourselves and our body image. And that makes it hard to focus on anything or anyone else. Thinking about other people – whether that’s focusing on the conversation at dinner or thinking of others needs or being there for a friend – helps to take the focus off ourselves and the minutia of food.

Yes food is nourishing, but it’s also suppose to bring pleasure and joy. In fact, with intuitive eating—which has been shown to lead to better health outcomes than dieting and restrictive eating—pleasure is one of the 10 central principles. And in order to find pleasure in food, we have to stop looking outward at what other’s are doing and instead hone into our own body’s wisdom.

As always, if you have thoughts please share them in the comments. I love hearing what you guys have to say too 🙂


YOU MAY ALSO LIKE...

  • 5 Steps to Cope With Diet Talk5 Steps to Cope With Diet Talk
  • What Does Healthy Even Mean?What Does Healthy Even Mean?
  • Round Table Talk with RDs on Intuitive Eating and Health At Every SizeRound Table Talk with RDs on Intuitive Eating and Health At Every Size
  • Eating When You’re Not Hungry is Okay…and Healthy.Eating When You’re Not Hungry is Okay…and Healthy.

Filed Under: Eating Disorders, Food Freedom, Intuitive Eating, Nutrition, Self Care

« Buttery Biscuits + Mac And Cheese {weekly eats}
Favorite Foods Currently in My Pantry »

Comments

  1. Trista says

    October 16, 2017 at 10:03 am

    I find myself feeling a lot like you described in this post… I’ve gotten to a great place with myself- fully wrapped up in that anti-diet bubble wrap!!- but it can feel like the outside world is full of thumbtacks trying to pop all those bubbles. I especially notice it in new social situations. One way I’ve started looking at it is that we are all on a spectrum of disordered eating and if I am around someone who is being restrictive or making diet-mentality comments, I just see them as being at a different place than I am RIGHT NOW, but I have empathy for them, because I’ve been there, too. It helps me feel less self-conscious of my own choices when I choose to see it that way.

    It’s actually really interesting that you posted this today, because yesterday I was reflecting on how sometimes when I am nervous in a new social setting or trying to connect with someone I don’t know very well, I will make comments that do not reflect how I really feel about dieting. It’s almost as if, just to put myself and others at ease or to create a common denominator, I will chime into diet-chatter and say something like “Oh I totally earned this cookie” or something along those lines. I realized yesterday that this is not very authentic of me ((I’m putting on a mask because it feels easier in the moment)) nor is it promoting the kind of social environment that I want to be in! It reminds me of the scene in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan is so confused by the other girls body-shaming themselves so she makes up some weird self-criticsm about her morning breath. I speak diet language just to have something to talk about or to appear relatable. Now that I have some awareness around this behavior, I will be working towards making a shift. Maybe you could do a Part II of this post (or maybe you’ve already written something about this) about how to redirect conversations from diet mentality or how to be present when that kind of talk is going on around you.

    Thanks Robyn!!

    Reply
    • Abigail T says

      October 16, 2017 at 7:52 pm

      Yes, redirecting conversations… I’d also love to see a post on that.

      Reply
    • lindsay says

      October 20, 2017 at 11:01 am

      Such a great idea! Would love that blog post as well.

      Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:05 pm

      I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TRISTA!

      One way I’ve started looking at it is that we are all on a spectrum of disordered eating and if I am around someone who is being restrictive or making diet-mentality comments, I just see them as being at a different place than I am RIGHT NOW, but I have empathy for them, because I’ve been there, too. It helps me feel less self-conscious of my own choices when I choose to see it that way.

      And I think the topic you’ve brought up about redirecting conversation is a great post idea and something I will post on – I can so relate to this myself and know others can too! Thank you <3

      Reply
    • Juliet says

      October 22, 2017 at 10:06 am

      Your whole comment totally hit home for me! Especially the part about saying things that we don’t want to say (and awesome connection to Mean Girls!)…I find that diet talk is so ingrained in our culture, and I always feel awkward when I don’t participate. But then I have friends who sit there and don’t participate and I always think “wow, good for them!” So hard!

      Reply
  2. Megan @ A Continual Feast says

    October 16, 2017 at 11:27 am

    I have been lovinggg your graphics lately! I am constantly reorienting my perspective on food towards pleasure and it has made ALL the difference. It is a fun journey to be on. As always I am thankful for these types of posts and for your transparency!

    Reply
  3. Amber @ Bloom Nutrition Therapy says

    October 16, 2017 at 11:39 am

    This is such a great explanation and great examples of food shaming. I know for myself, the social aspect of food has been one of the most difficult to overcome. In fact, I don’t think I really noticed how much I was allowing social situations to dictate my food choices until I started my intuitive eating journey. Through my journey, I found it much easier to allow myself the foods I wanted and give into cravings more when I was alone rather than in the company of others. I can also speak to the identity piece. It was very difficult for me to let go of being a “runner” and having that identity when I began trying to incorporate more intuitive movement. But as with any change – it gets easier! I can remember when I REALLY struggled with knowing who I was if I wasn’t a runner. But now I know that I’m an entrepreneur, doggie parent, daughter, wife, counselor, writer, wannabe violinist and much more. I feel like I finally found my true self when I let go of who I thought I wanted to be.

    Reply
  4. Marsha says

    October 16, 2017 at 11:53 am

    I love everything about this article. One of the phrases I hate to hear is “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. You always articulate this topic so well. Love reading!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      I agree Marsha!

      Reply
  5. dixya @food, pleasure, and health says

    October 16, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    yess it takes a while to get on board with intuitive eating because its everything we have told not to do…but once you have that control, life is so much better. always love your posts on these topics!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      It does take a while and it’s such a journey!

      Reply
  6. Summer Rae says

    October 16, 2017 at 4:32 pm

    Robyn!

    I love the point you made about what we want others to think of when they think of us… definitely not food. Thank you for sharing your encouraging words with us, as always. This post brought me peace. I hope you and Nick have a wonderful day!

    This side of Heaven,
    Summer Rae

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      I’m so glad it resonated Summer <3

      Reply
  7. Erin Drum says

    October 16, 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Wow, this whole thing! “Why is she ordering a salad? If I finish this entire plate does that make me gluttonous?” ALL THE TIME. “We live in a culture where pride and accomplishment are associated with eating less, suppressing hunger and controlling the food that goes into our mouths. There’s pride in working against our own physiologic needs.” WOWOW. So many truth bombs in here. This is so good. I need to come back and read this again and again. I especially love the last bit about identity–it’s so true! This. So good. Thanks, Robyn! xoxo

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm

      🙂 thanks for reading Erin!

      Reply
  8. Anna Bulfin says

    October 16, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    Love this SO much. Preaching to the choir 🙂

    Reply
  9. Ashley V says

    October 16, 2017 at 6:29 pm

    This post is everything I needed. Having overcome an eating disorder and HA, I feel like I’m in a pretty good place right now. I recognize that I could be a little farther along in my journey, but overall, I don’t have a lot of thoughts of food being “good” or “bad.” However, I am susceptible to being influenced to eat less when I’m in social situations. This past Friday night I found those thoughts creeping in when a friend and I were enjoying dessert together. I found myself closely watching to see whether or not she was going to finish hers, and it was like I wanted to give myself permission to finish mine.

    Also, similar to a commenter above, I had a terrible time letting go of my identity as a runner. For years I would feel so excited when people would ask me about my running because it meant they thought of me as a runner! When I decided to take a hiatus, people would ask, and I would feel disappointed that I had to reply, “I’m taking a break from running right now…” and I never wanted to explain the nitty gritty of why I was doing so. I still feel a twinge of jealousy when I see others who are “runners.” I’m trying to let go fully, but it’s a deeply rooted issue for me, and I continue to struggle. May I just say that your blog (and some others) has been a major influence in my recovery, and I’m so grateful for it!

    Reply
    • Trista says

      October 18, 2017 at 9:57 am

      This last paragraph…. I CAN SO RELATE. I feel so lame when I say that I don’t really run anymore and I feel like I can’t explain to people WHY. Also, sometimes it feels like no one wants to listen when I just say I don’t run anymore. And I get so jealous of other runners, especially on a beautiful fall morning!!! I am struggling right there with you, Ashley <3

      Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 12:01 pm

      Letting go of that identity is so hard! We feel validated in that and finding our worth and value in other things that might not be as “socially sexy” is really hard. I am rooting for you Ashley! <3

      Reply
  10. Robyn says

    October 16, 2017 at 8:42 pm

    I really enjoyed this article, I think intuitive eating is the way to go to have a healthy and fully abundant life around food. I think it helps a lot of people who have disorderly relationships with food or who are prone to it, heal. Here is the BUT. . . I also feel somewhat taken back and a little hurt by comments that put negative feelings towards people who do run or are considered avid runners. . . I know this probably wasn’t your intent and was simply your own journey or escaping from a label that possibly sends you into the diet culture vortex. I am an avid runner and I love running and have no shame in someone describing me in that context, nor do I find that uninteresting. Run a mile in my shoes and I guarantee it is a lot more than one foot in front of the other. Competitive running for me embodies discipline, perseverance, and strength in mind and body. Running is so much more to me than perhaps what others may associate it with, being simply cardio for weight management or loss. Running is my medicine, it is what alleviates stress, I run for the scenery, I run for clarity, I run because I love it. I have just come upon this intuitive eating information scene and I hope that there isn’t the tone of a “better than those who do diet” mentality (I don’t diet- my mentality has always been I eat to fuel my body. I hope there isn’t less tolerance and pity placed on people who do exercise /train hard for reasons other than what some may think they do it for, or assume what their own personal why is. Yes I think diet culture is very embedded into our thoughts and there needs to be a push back, just not so far pushing that there is push against people trying to do what they love to do. . . . regardless if it wasn’t a good thing for somebodies own personal life. There are no uninteresting things, just uninterested people. (which is ok that we all like different things- keeps talking to others interesting and increases our own learning) Sorry that was looooooooog. I really do appreciate the work you have done and I am super interested and learning a ton! 🙂

    Reply
    • Ashley V says

      October 18, 2017 at 7:59 am

      Hey,
      I want to respond since I wrote a bit about running in my original comment. I didn’t do a great job because I didn’t explain that I took a break from running because I was in the midst of an eating disorder and extremely disordered relationship with exercise. It led me to have HA, and that’s part of why I had to stop. I’m slowly getting back into it because I truly do love it, but I had to get my head in the space where I just enjoy it rather than obsess over it and guilt myself into running XYZ miles every single day whether I felt like it or not. It was an idol for me. Anyway, you gave me the benefit of the doubt when you said it probably wasn’t my intention to hurt, and you’re absolutely right. However, I’m sorry that it was!

      Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 11:59 am

      Hi Robyn! Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it and hopefully can bring some clarity 🙂
      For me, I didn’t want to be known as “Robyn the avid runner and healthy eater” since I had an idolization with running and an unhealthy relationship. There were so many more interesting things about me that I wanted people to be able to see. I don’t think running by itself is uninteresting at all — now that I’ve reclaimed a healthy relationship with running I really enjoy it – but I still don’t want that to be the only thing people know me for since there are so many other interesting things we have to offer the world and others!

      It totally depends on the intentions and motivations behind the behavior and I think it’s okay for one person’s story and relationship to running to be different than another’s…that’s what makes us all unique.

      I have just come upon this intuitive eating information scene and I hope that there isn’t the tone of a “better than those who do diet” mentality –> I agree, I think we have to be aware of this and let go our our judgements and biases and know, in most circumstances it’s rarely about the behavior but rather the mindset. I hope that helps and thanks for sharing! <3

      Reply
  11. Rachel Nannola says

    October 16, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    Love this post! I grew up overweight and to this day I find myself always comparing myself to others when food is involved. I’m learning intuitive eating, but I still find myself self-consious about what I eat at times compared to others.
    Thank you for sharing this post, it’s nice to know that it’s not just me!

    Reply
  12. Lauren says

    October 17, 2017 at 12:38 am

    I really needed to read this post today. I’ve been struggling with debilitating feet issues for several months, with no guarantee of full recovery. Today I was reflecting on how given my current limitations on exercise, I’m wrestling with my loss of identity as a “fit person,” temporarily and/or long-term. Reading that you want to be known for so much more than your exercise or food habits was a needed reminder that there are many other valuable aspects to my whole self, outside of my relationship with and level of fitness.

    Reply
  13. emily vardy says

    October 17, 2017 at 6:21 am

    SO annoying to constantly hear that kind of food shame/comparison talk. I’m getting really good at just tuning people out and zoning out until they move to a less aggravating topic.
    The comparison bit still gets me though, but I’m workin’ on it. I find whenever I go out to eat with a friend,, I ALWAYS eat more than them, and it’s really hard to not feel guilty. I’ll have a clean plate while they’re saying “gosh I’m so full” with half their meal left uneaten. I’ve got to remind myself, I don’t know what they’ve eaten all day, their body has completely different food needs than mine, and IT DOESN’T MATTER. Especially that last bit. What I eat and what someone else eats means nothing!! I’m getting better at just enjoying my food, and enjoying the time spent with a friend.

    Reply
  14. Leanne says

    October 17, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Great post Robyn! I’m going to quote you on IG if that’s cool… I love your point on what you want to be known for or what you want others to associate with you.

    Reply
  15. Julianne Oliver says

    October 17, 2017 at 1:39 pm

    I love this! It can be SO hard to ignore these types of comments or to respond in a constructive way. A lot of times this culture makes me want to curl up with a book and eat alone..which is for sure okay sometimes, but i do think food can be so much fun to share with others. So, this is for sure a challenge for me. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    • Savannah says

      October 18, 2017 at 8:50 pm

      I love sharing food with other people! I especially love cooking and eating with them. While eating alone can be really nice at times, eating with people always forces me to smile and enjoy my food that much more. Eating with someone who also is into intuitive lifestyle practices is also such a great experience as it just nails home healthy mentality thoughts even further for me. I think (and am curious as to what other people think) that for people with eating disorders you’re supposed to not talk about food that much but I think for people with just slightly disordered thoughts occasionally this is awesome.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 20, 2017 at 11:44 am

        I love how you mentioned sharing a meal with intuitive eaters brings even more positivity into the meal – I so agree! I think it depends on the conversation whether or not it would be helpful or harmful. Love the conversation you’re starting here Savannah 🙂

        Reply
  16. Emily Swanson says

    October 18, 2017 at 2:44 am

    WOW. YES. YES. YES! Not attaching morality to food is something I have wrestled with so much, and this was the good gentle slap in the face I needed to be reminded that food is just food. We can order each what we need and what we’re craving without judging ourselves or others for what they get. I really appreciate you always delving deeper into the heart behind these struggles Robyn; you understand them so well with such sensitivity and truth.

    Reply
  17. Shannon K. says

    October 18, 2017 at 10:46 am

    I’ve struggled with this almost daily for the past couple of years, and I recently realized that (in addition to the other things going on in my life that began two years ago that made me feel out of control, plus post-college/no-longer-a-teenager/grown-up woman body changes) being in an office environment exacerbated my comparison tendencies/feelings of food shame and unkind body image thoughts.

    I wondered why I never noticed it as much in college–I’m certain it was there, but I just wasn’t as tuned into it because I wasn’t in a place where I was having unkind body thoughts, at least not to the degree I have these days–but in an office environment, especially with women in their 20’s-30’s, it is just CONSTANT and UNCEASING and quite frankly, sad!

    The day I brought in a sandwich to my first office job at an internship in NYC and got looked at like it was this cute, naive thing that I was doing, like “oh you’re so young, I remember eating sandwiches…you’ll learn” and in response I stopped bringing sandwiches or felt the need to over-justify bringing in a pita to dip my soup into or spread hummus on, was the day that my view changed forever. It was the day that salads for lunch weren’t just a thing I genuinely enjoyed, but it was the *right* kind of lunch to have. Smoothies were a fine choice as long as they only had a small amount of fruit in them because of the sugar, obviously…NEVER a whole banana!!! Oatmeal was suddenly too carby to have for breakfast unless I kicked the crap out of myself in a calorie-incinerating spin class earlier that very morning. There were “skinny snacks” and “fat snacks,” and there were days when I was “good” and days where my teammates and I were being “so bad, oh my god!” Cupcakes for a person’s birthday in the office where a thing to hover around, fear, and split into tiny pieces. Bachelorette parties and weddings were a deadline and a goal weight/size to reach, not an occasion to look forward to or celebrate.

    Because of bloggers like you and Kylie and Alexis, and because of the Food Psych podcast (honestly between you guys and Christy, it’s why I’ve made any progress at all!) I’m much more tuned into the diet mentality talk/food shaming/comparison and am getting better at combating it at least for myself, but I still find myself noticing what other people eat compared to what I eat. I find myself having the belief “I shouldn’t be hungry if other people aren’t hungry.”

    And most of all, as much as I want to talk to the women I work with about things they say or do, and offer this different perspective versus the diet mentality and normative discontent loop constantly playing (especially since I’m so passionate about it now and try to surround myself with content and influencers and people who feel the same way), it feels weirdly…like the choice to do so would be the choice to isolate myself, in a way. Like doing so would mean that I’m not playing the game, that I’d be questioning or taking away something we supposedly have “in common” — like “we’re all women who don’t like our bodies, seek to control our body size and fear changes that aren’t socially acceptable, and see food as the enemy and exercise/controlling our eating as the solution…because of course we are and of course we do, right? That’s just the way it is, even though we never acknowledge it.” I wish I was a little braver in that respect, but at least I’m doing better myself at tuning out their words and actions and focusing on myself, which is a victory in and of itself for me.

    Long story short — it’s really, really hard. And posts like this make me (and I’m sure others too) feel less alone and less crazy and even more vigilant about trying to shift our mindset out of this negative feedback loop. So thank you, as always, Robyn <3

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 11:53 am

      Oh goodness Shannon THANK YOU for sharing this – it is sadly the reality for many women and a recurring theme I hear when patients talk about their work environment here in the city. You are SO BRAVE for combatting this perpetuated mindset and culture so keep at it! Even though I know it’s hard and against culture, your “normalized” behaviors around food will be noticed and they will bring freedom for others too.

      Like the choice to do so would be the choice to isolate myself, in a way. Like doing so would mean that I’m not playing the game, that I’d be questioning or taking away something we supposedly have “in common”

      It’s unfortunate that this is all too common, but I believe we can and will see a change in our generation<3

      Reply
    • lindsay says

      October 20, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      Totally agree on this comment. I feel the same, like I would not want to mention anything for fear of being different and having nothing to relate to. It would be great to see a blog post on something like this on how we can change the subject or what to say!

      Reply
  18. Allison says

    October 18, 2017 at 2:46 pm

    This post is great! Competition is so prevalent and invasive. It’s so hard when as you’ve put it we’ve “attached morality to food”. I feel that this is such a hard concept for people to step away from. If you want to eat a food then it’s good! There are no other external factors that make a food good or bad.

    http://www.reallifewander.com

    Reply
  19. Betsy says

    October 20, 2017 at 9:52 am

    This was a great post. Long time reader, first time commenting. I find this often happens when I go on girls trip and we are out to dinner. When someone comments “I feel soooo fat and full” after eating what I think is a fairly normal, maybe slightly indulgent meal, I really start to feel bad. I work out a lot to feel good, but I also like to enjoy food, especially on a vacation. This post is a great reminder that food really is just food. Thanks Robyn!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 20, 2017 at 11:43 am

      Hi Betsy! And thanks for commenting – I so hear you. It can be frustrating how easily swayed our minds can be to second guessing our own food choices and feeling shame there. I’m glad it resonated 🙂

      Reply
  20. Lander says

    October 22, 2017 at 5:32 am

    This post is simply perfect. Once again, I’ve loved reading every single of the words you’ve written. If I had to quote something that has really made an impact on me, it would be: “And in order to find pleasure in food, we have to stop looking outward at what other’s are doing and instead hone into our own body’s wisdom.”

    It has taken me a long time to find inner peace regarding body image & food choices. And I guess I’m not the only one, because we live in a society that has become so wrapped on things we should be doing instead of on things our bodies need that we’ve completely lost touch with our own bodies’ demands and needs.

    However, I’m endlessly thankful because thanks to you and other amazing intuitive eating & health-based bloggers such as Rachael (https://www.rachaelhartleynutrition.com/) and Kylie (http://immaeatthat.com/), I’ve been able to connect with my body’s real needs again. I believe the work you all three have put into your websites – along with some others, don’t get me wrong, you three are just my favourite – is really beautiful & a good reason to be thankful for.

    So, a biiiig THANK YOU for showing me the way to inner peace. You’re such beautiful souls!! As always, I’m soo looking forward to reading more from you. Best wishes xx

    Reply
  21. Anna says

    December 28, 2017 at 6:20 pm

    This is so, so wonderful Robyn! I have about 30 tabs open of your recent posts and having reading non-stop since discovering your blog – I cannot get enough 🙂 Thank you for another wonderful article!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      January 3, 2018 at 11:19 pm

      Oh I’m so glad you are enjoying Anna! Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  22. 2048 says

    September 18, 2023 at 6:00 am

    Over time, with practice and self-compassion, you can develop a healthier relationship with food and your body, one that prioritizes your well-being and enjoyment over external pressures and judgments.

    Reply
  23. michaelarrington says

    December 24, 2024 at 4:34 am

    Food should be a source of nourishment and joy, not guilt. By disconnecting from diet culture and focusing on your body’s signals, you can build PolyTrack confidence in how you nourish yourself.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Recipes, Round-Ups and Q+A says:
    October 23, 2017 at 8:04 am

    […] to overcome food comparison— GREAT […]

    Reply
  2. Viral Pipeline » Bean Bytes 259 says:
    October 31, 2017 at 5:13 am

    […] What Fair Trade Actually Means – And 4 Products You Can Feel Good About Buying via Greatist How to Overcome Food Comparison and Shaming via The Real Life RD Six Ideas to Help Encourage Sibling Bonding via A Healthy Slice of Life The […]

    Reply
  3. Bean Bytes 259 | get in the best possible shape says:
    November 1, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    […] What Fair Trade Actually Means – And 4 Products You Can Feel Good About Buying via Greatist How to Overcome Food Comparison and Shaming via The Real Life RD Six Ideas to Help Encourage Sibling Bonding via A Healthy Slice of Life The […]

    Reply
  4. A Little Somethin' Sunday #97 - Sinful Nutrition says:
    November 12, 2017 at 10:27 am

    […] How to Overcome Food Comparison and Shaming – The Real Life RD […]

    Reply
  5. The Morality of Food Language says:
    June 10, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    […] via Robyn Nohling–The Real Life RD […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

More On Lady Hormones

How Birth Control Methods Affect Your Hormones, Period and Fertility

What Your Cervical Fluid Can Tell You About Your Reproductive Health

women's reproductive health

Women’s Reproductive Health 101

I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

Postpartum Hormones: what’s happening in your body and how to care for yourself

* indicates required

Categories

Get in Touch!

Follow Me!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

I talk a lot about moving, eating, and living intuitively so you can be well hormonally and live a fulfilling life in line with your values

The Real Life RD on Pinterest

Follow Me on Pinterest
A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years o A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years of getting to spend so much time with my kids: aka another way I’m discovering some pockets of peace so my heart & mind & soul don’t crumble under the reality of dependent & emotionally dysregulated tiny humans.  About once a week we go somewhere for baked goods. We drive or walk, buy something buttery & then find a beautiful, relatively quiet outdoor spot where the boys can romp and I can sit and think my thoughts while I watch them play. This past week we were found ourselves at the Wool Factory where the boys threw rocks & whatever else off the bridge while I ate 90% of this almond 🥐 from @coucourachou that will blow your mind. Boys ate the other 10% bc they were busy playing and didn’t ask for more quickly enough 😜  I’m finding *for me* playgrounds have a time & place but they aren’t where I enjoy motherhood & my two toddlers the most. Baked goods & a pretty outdoor spot without high drops my 15 month old could launch himself off of…I’m here for it.
I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the boys to hike out at one of our favorite spots last week and when I ripped it open I was regretting my choice to share them with my kids. @baresnacks randomly sent me a box of snacks and I usually eat free food we receive or give it to a friend/neighbor and move on. But I felt it my duty to tell you about these bc they are THAT GOOD. I’m not getting paid and this isn’t sponsored - I was just shocked at how tasty these were and felt you needed to know. We ate them with some buttery roasted nuts and the combo was 👌🏻 but they are good just on their own.  The boys climbed rocks and swam in the reservoir - leave it to my almost 3 year old to want to strip down naked and fully submerge himself in chilly water on a sixty degree morning. “Mama can I get super nakey?” Sure baby. Sure. This is your childhood.
It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of extended alone time away from the babies to just be. And that isn’t something that’s best for me, it’s an area I gotta grow in. So this afternoon when Nick pushed me out the door and was like - get out of here plzzzz - I walked to my favorite cafe and ordered a thick pastrami sandwich and sat there for a good LONG while before taking a long, peaceful walk in the rain to wrap up the afternoon. Note to self: stop being such a control freak and go be by yourself sometimes.
a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face from @mariebettecafe this morning when she came to get her toddler who played with us all morning and it is v good. even better when paired with an iced latte 😍
#AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing a #AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing about how taking @alignprobiotic regularly has improved my digestive regularity.  And I’m still taking them! I’ve permanently added Align 24/7 Digestive Support* into the roundup of supplements I take before bed (prenatal, vitamin D, choline & DHA - all which help keep me healthy while breastfeeding) so I can keep seeing the benefits.  Just because you see benefits, doesn’t mean you should stop taking your probiotic. Keep taking Align daily (under the supervision and recommendation of your health care provider of course) to keep seeing the benefits!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - one of my favorite parts of Align probiotics is that they don’t need refrigeration AND they come in a convenient little blister pack that has the days labeled. It’s the little things people! #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoo I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoon (91 and muggy in MAY 🤯) when a toddler nap was refused and a baby nap was cut wildly short ....so my tired mom brain pulled out two plastic storage bins, filled them up with soap & hose water and striped ‘em down naked in the yard. Two hours later, it was almost time for an early dinner and I had magically been able to sit for most of that time and we already had baths checked off the list. 👍🏻 I’m archiving this idea for my future self, hope it helps another tired mama out.
#AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about #AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about getting better at doing the basics to care for myself which included taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic regularly.  Probiotics take time to work so I wanted to give it a full month to see the full effects of @alignprobiotic. So here are my honest thoughts: it took a few weeks to notice any differences, but near the end of the month I did notice some changes in my digestive balance - even while traveling! I’m not someone who experiences occasional gas, bloating or abdominal discomfort frequently enough to notice a difference, so I don’t feel like I can comment on how well Align works for those benefits.  All in all though, taking @alignprobiotic was a positive experience and I really appreciated how the capsules don’t need to be stored in the fridge, making it convenient to take them with me anywhere #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Because the swampy VA summer has already begun (it’s in the low 90s today 🥵 lord help) and creeks are our retreat - not only from the heat but also from the noisy world. I need this just (if not more) than they do! We’ll be at the splash pads and pools too, but the quietness of the creek...my mental health is so about it. And it’s hours of play for them! Win win.  A couple things to note: this scene also included a few toddler reminders on finding another direction to throw rocks instead of at his brother - so not all is serene 🤪 and also, yes I am now that mom who buys the same clothing for both kids bc it keeps things simple & i think i kinda like it too 🤷🏻‍♀️
Things I love about midwifery among many: the appo Things I love about midwifery among many: the appointments, no matter how long, feel so unhurried. 
Just walked in from an appointment with my midwife because I was due for a Pap test + an overall wellness visit. My last pap was during my first trimester with Cal which feels like a jillion years ago, but it’s only actually been three years. Life changes so fast! Pre-baby life feels like a whole other life.  I’m wayyyy overdue for a visit to my PCP bc I’ve been under OBGYN or midwifery care for the majority of the past three years while having babies, but I am pretty good with keeping up with my paps. It seems women often think they need pap and/or HPV testing way more frequently than they do (and providers sometimes perform these tests more frequently than necessary - remember more testing doesn’t always mean better outcomes!)  So if you need it, here’s a quick little reminder on this chilly spring Friday afternoon on how often you need this testing (these are the recommendations from ACOG)  Women aged 21–29 years should have a Pap test alone every 3 years. HPV testing is not recommended.  Women aged 30–65 years should have a Pap test and an HPV test (aka co-testing) every 5 years (preferred). It also is acceptable to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.  If you get abnormal results, this testing frequency could change - but for healthy women with normal results, you actually don’t need testing as frequently as you might think. Which is great news for those of you who hate the speculum.  Ok, off to finish up some things on the to-do list (including cleaning this kitchen) during nap time and then come 5 o’clock, crack an IPA with our neighbors 🍻
#AlignPartner Over the past seven months since bec #AlignPartner Over the past seven months since becoming a mom of two, caring for myself has gotten shoved to the back burner. And it's been a challenge to make it a priority. My routine-resistant personality has upsides and downsides when it comes to motherhood. So I'm starting small this year with a consistent bedtime routine that includes taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic and hoping as that becomes consistent, my mornings will naturally shift too.  In short my bedtime currently goes like this….jammies & face care when putting the babies to bed. Before I go to bed (anytime between 9pm and 12am...) I’ll pump, take my supplements and fill my water. Then I go upstairs and brush my teeth. And then get in bed. The kicker: 70% of the time I find myself finishing up tasks on my phone IN BED. I hate this habit.  Back to supplements. This is something I have been able to stick with. On top of fish oil, my prenatal, choline and vitamin D, I recently added @AlignProbiotic 24/7 Digestive Support*§ to see if it helps with abdominal discomfort and regularity because when I don’t drink coffee or am traveling that can get thrown off.  I’ll be taking it every day for the next 28 days since it takes TIME for our bodies to adjust to probiotics - and I'll be taking you guys along with me as I share my honest thoughts. Many people think if they don’t see changes within the first 7-10 days then the probiotic isn’t working, but that’s not the case. I’m giving myself more than just a week or two and instead a full month to see the full benefits. I’ll keep you posted over the next month. Check out my stories to learn more! #MyAlignGutJourney #guthealth
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care f We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care for a nap. Putting baby down was harder than I wanted it to be. Miraculously, I had a moment of clarity as I was covered in tiny humans and decided I wasn’t doing the nap battle thing a on 60 degree, gorgeous, sunny spring day 🙅🏻‍♀️ so I piled both babies into the car half naked, opened the sun roof, put on white noise for them and an audio book for me and drank a kombucha as I drove a meal to a postpartum mama. Thirty five minutes later we had a sleeping baby and a toddler who at least had a rest. Baby transferred without waking HALLELUJAH and although my toddler didn’t nap today (lord help) at least we got soaked in breezy sunshine 😎🤘🏻💆🏻‍♀️
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!

Copyright © 2025 · The Real RD· Blog Design by Little Blue Deer


Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy