Hey guys, Cody writing to you today 🙂 Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about movement. As most of you probably know by now, I have an almost seven month old son. He is our first baby so bringing baby John home brought some drastic life changes. Hellooooo entire change of life. Of course both my husband and I wouldn’t trade these changes for the world – each day is amazing and getting to watch a baby learn and grow is incredible and so fun. Everyday when I see the wonder on John’s face, I’m like…this is a MIRACLE.
However, as probably a lot of new moms can relate, I’ve given up a lot of my freedom. Having a baby means your day is no longer your own. Gone are the days of being selfish with your time. I simply do not have time for myself like I used to which is okay and expected…just different. That being said, it can be difficult to carve out time for intuitive movement outside of my normal day-to-day tasks. I know I don’t have to move in a particular way, but I do very much enjoy taking a Barre3 class or going on a walk or jog.
I love Barre3 for several reasons. First of all, it gives me an opportunity to get out of the house and see some friends. Yes, adult interaction! Secondly, I looooove the way it makes my body feel. Barre3 helps me to connect more with and listen to my body versus dissociate. Each posture has numerous modifications and your instructor is encouraged to teach you to find your body’s inner voice and do what is right for you that day. It’s great because it really does cater to so many different people’s needs. I love that I can be in my 20s and take a class next to a 70 year old and a 40 year old and every one is moving in a way that feels right for them on that specific day. I continually hear my instructors encouraging me to keep my eyes off my neighbor and focus on myself. Because your body does not want to do the same movements everyday and your body is different than your neighbor’s. It just is. So instead of hurting myself by pushing myself too hard, Barre3 encourages me to embrace my differences and find my balance in each moment. Can you tell?…I love Barre3. 🙂
Walking is a little easier with a baby because we can get the stroller out and walk around together. However, when it is super windy or cold it can be harder to get outside. Jogging with a stroller is NOT EASY. Sometimes I enjoy the challenge but it is drastically different than running without a stroller. The great thing about walking or jogging is you can really go whenever, there is no “set time.” The (only) downside to Barre3 is that by nature of a group exercise class, there are scheduled class times. As any of you mamas can probably relate (or anyone that isn’t timely), it is not always easy to be on a schedule with a baby so I don’t make it to Barre3 as often as I would like. Before having John, I guess I knew this would be the case but I hadn’t really thought much about it. Lately though I’ve been reflecting on how this shift in my freedom has made me feel when it comes to movement.
My relationship with exercise has evolved over the years. In middle school and high school I did a lot of sports and exercise was intuitive. A lot of you can probably relate. I had a healthy relationship with exercise until one fall my junior year. I was a cheerleader, but I loved to run. Cheer practice took up a lot of my time and I honestly didn’t enjoy practicing it that much. I remember wishing I was out on a run or doing something a bit more “athletic” — I realize cheerleading can be athletic but I hope you get what I’m saying 🙂 Of course, some of this was a lie I believed. I believed I was not being productive at cheer practice and that I should be doing more formal “exercise.” The other part of me was not unhealthy, I just enjoyed running more than I enjoyed cheerleading. Either way, the lie bubbled up inside of me and I became unhealthily reliant on exercise. Fast forward years later to college. We are all busy in college (yet also full of free time) and somehow I thought it was necessary to squeeze in two exercises most days. I wasn’t completely obsessed, but I do remember thinking if I walked with a friend and didn’t get too much of a sweat in, that I should make time to go on a run later…as if the walk wasn’t “enough.” This was on and off throughout my four years, likely dependent on my stress level or something like that.
I got married right out of college and this was when I lost a little bit of my “I do whatever I want” freedom and had another person in my life that was a priority over solely my wants and desires. If I could make it to a Barre3 class or go run, great! Or if a friend wanted to walk with me, wonderful! But I had some margin for these things still, but less than before because spending time with my husband was a priority. Not to mention the fact that you do not have the free time you do in college when you are working normal work day hours in the “real” world. During these moments of transition, I can remember telling myself the truths I had learned and believed, but these truths were sometimes harder to put into action than they were to believe. I often felt like I “needed” to exercise but I knew better. I had the head knowledge, but the heart knowledge was not always there. For me, simply telling myself, “it’s okay Cody, you don’t have to exercise everyday and that is normal” was helpful. Also, talking out loud and sharing my thoughts with my husband. He is logical (aren’t most men?) and would say something like, “you simply don’t have time to do all the things you want to do today and that’s okay.”
So I began practicing intuitive movement and moving in a way that felt nourishing in that moment. I realize that coming to a more healthy place with movement isn’t this simple most of the time….sometimes these thoughts and pattern are deeply engrained and it can take time and work with a dietitian or therapist who is well trained to help you through this…and that’s OKAY too. Sometimes intuitive movement meant sitting on the couch after a long day and sometimes it was attending a Barre3 class or going on a run. I was experiencing freedom with exercise even if I sometimes had to give myself a pep talk to rewire those brain pathways.
Fast forward now to life with a baby, my thoughts on exercise have evolved even more. After getting married and entering “the real world,” I really thought I had this whole intuitive movement thing down. I was wrong. There was more learning and growing to do. The learning never stops really…we are always trying to better understand ourselves as life seasons change. With a baby now, I have even less free time than ever before. The days I do not get to exercise, even if it feels right and I want to move my body, are more frequent than ever. Intuitively I’m feeling it, but my life circumstances don’t always allow it. Perhaps it was too cold to take John for a stroll or maybe I wanted to prioritize him napping in his crib or maybe it was going to be too stressful for me to bring John to Barre3 that day. Whatever the case, I was exercising less than ever before and I actually, really and truly, barely even noticed it. This is the cool part. My relationship with exercise had evolved, yet again, and this time I realized I had the best relationship with exercise than ever before. I wasn’t taking note of how many days had passed since I had not gone on a run. I was losing count how many days it had been since I had attended a Barre3 class and it was all really okay. No personal pep talks needed this time around since those new brain pathways had been solidified earlier in my life. Who knew I was even subconsciously keeping track of that?
I’ve learned that a healthy relationship with exercise means not over thinking it. Perhaps not thinking about it at all. Not thinking about when or if you are going to get to experience movement that day. In my mind it means simply living and moving if it feels right and you get the opportunity to do so. And to expand the way we define exercise. Which is why I think movement frees us up in a lot of ways. Movement could mean vacuuming your house or grocery shopping and unloading those heavy groceries. Movement could mean chasing your kid in the backyard or yes, going on that walk with a friend. It could mean stretching on your floor. And it could also mean that Barre3 class or that run. But I think if we redefine movement it frees us from the all or nothing mentality and we actually might find ourselves moving more because there’s more room in life to do movement than there is formal exercise.
If you do not have time to exercise even though you want to move, your body is going to be okay. You still don’t have to exercise, even IF you have a healthy relationship with it. Of course, maybe you have to give yourself some pep talks – that’s okay too. I’ve been there. I’ve felt the pressure to exercise and I’ve had to tell myself, time and time again, that I do not have to do what our popular culture says. That’s not living in line with my values. It’s okay to have those thoughts thought. Don’t judge yourself for having those thoughts, simply ask yourself why you may be feeling pressure to exercise – what’s creating that narrative? Can you challenge those thoughts to see if they are true?
Has your relationship with exercise changed and evolved? How so? I would love to hear in the comments!
So cool how we can require our brains! My relationship with exercise has definitely evolved and these days much of my movement is “informal.” It may change in the future but for now that is what feels best!
Hahaha definitely meant REWIRE not require 😉
Thanks for this post. I think the idea of reframing exercise as movement, and being more flexible about how and when it happens, is really helpful. One point I was hoping you’d talk about, though, was how to balance intuitive exercise against the health recommendations for an appropriate amount of exercise. I think a lot of people – women and men – feel pressure to exercise not just/not necessarily from friends doing the latest fitness craze or running a marathon, but also government guidelines about having a healthy heart or strengthening your bones or whatever for exercising 30 min/day, 5 days a week. These guidelines are pretty black and white (does it not count if you do 15 min?) and can make us feel ashamed or unhealthy if we don’t follow them. I guess my question is, how do you balance honoring your intuition with following scientific/medical guidelines aimed at keeping you healthy? And when do you do something that makes you healthy even if you’re not feeling it? Because no one likes the dentist, but most of us go because we’re prioritizing long-term health over short-term happiness.
I’d love it if a future post focused on this topic! I am getting better at being intuitive, but sometimes find myself worrying about whether my movement habits will promote long term health and longevity.
Yes! This is what I mean, said much more succinctly 😉
I have cut back on working out SO much which has been awesome!! I do notice though that I will love exercise when I’m doing it & feel so much better after, but not always do I wake up like “yay, time to get out of bed & go for a run”. For me intuitive exercise is more about listening to what I don’t want to do & being okay when I can’t or don’t have time for it as opposed of just waiting until my body wants to exercise. It’s still something I choose to make a habit of, I just make sure that the line doesn’t cross over from habit to requirement (:
Hi!
Robyn and Cody — I hope you don’t mind if I weigh in! I read this comment and it’s tugging at my heart because this is a topic I care so much about <3.
I am a personal trainer and one of the reasons I sought my certification was to learn the in-depth science behind exercise. I recovered from HA a few years ago and really, really struggled getting back into exercise in a healthy way.
With regard to intuitive movement yet still meeting the "required" 150 minutes per week, I have a few thoughts I'd love to share 🙂 First, that 150 min/week recommendation is for the average person to encourage movement to support overall health. For the average, healthy person, it definitely beneficial to engage in daily moderate intensity activity. This can be anything, from walking, biking/spinning, yoga, strength, etc. Truly, any type of enjoyable movement that feels good for you is what matters. However, similar to moving away from counting calories, I'd encourage anyone to not fixate too much on the hard "150 minute" suggestion. While this may be a general recommendation, there will certainly be weeks where you get in more activity and there will certainly be weeks where you get less activity. Your body will tell you what it needs – when you're able to recognize that "itch" to get up and go for a walk or run, go to a yoga class, etc, that is your body telling you it's ready to move :). Just as with food, your body is smart and will tell you when it needs movement vs. when it needs rest.
Now, if you are someone recovering from HA or an eating disorder or overexercising, it is VERY possible that 150 min/week of exercise (or even any movement at all!) is doing your body more harm than good. There will be seasons of life where lots of movement isn't helpful for your body, and during those seasons try and focus on what feels good for you as opposed to some general guidelines.
One of the biggest principles of exercise/movement is to give your body time to adjust to the demands imposed on it. For everyone, this "alarm phase" (or recovery period) between movement bouts will be different. For some people (especially someone recovering from ED, DE, HA, etc), they may benefit from one or two (or more!) days for their bodies and muscles to recover from a 30-min walk. In this instance, it's 100% necessary to not force yourself to go for a walk (or other form of exercise) daily. Of course, this will vary person to person, but just an example 🙂
I hope this is helpful! <3
This was exactly my thought and unfortunately I sometimes think is where intuitive eating/movement has its limitations. If someone can practice intuitive movement for various seasons of life (such as elaborated with this post) then that’s awesome. But, I also think practical guidelines exist for a reason and many people *can* benefit from them. Of course this doesn’t mean we need to be rigid every week, but there can be a happy medium. I don’t like budgeting but I do it every week to keep my finances in order, I don’t enjoy grocery shopping but I do it every Sunday because buying fresh food makes me feel better (and is friendlier on my wallet)…I don’t enjoy going to the doctor but it’s important for my long-term health; andddd when I did recently, I found out my cholesterol was a pretty high and therefore *this* was a catalyst of what made me realize I need to move more + alter my eating habits a tiny bit…I’m going to a gym ~3x a week now and feeling great doing so; also hoping it will help to lower my cholesterol! It doesn’t feel rigid, but giving myself a “schedule” of going on three specific days does make me feel more motivated to actually go.
I suppose the best case here is that people needing to find movement can do so in a way that feels joyful and therefore not rigid, but even if they don’t, maybe sometimes we can just view it as buying groceries or going to the dentist or budgeting finances — something that isn’t always “fun” but also serves a purpose in the overall wellbeing of our lives and long-term health. IDK, just some food for thought. 😛
Yes! I LOVE this and completely agree! I think for the average person, this is exactly why those guidelines are in place. To encourage people to do something beneficial and recognize the wonderful health benefits that movement can have – because it does and moving is good for body, mind, and soul. But, for certain populations those guidelines don’t apply (because for whatever reason movement isn’t beneficial), which is where it gets tricky. There’s definitely no “one size fits all.”
I love, love, love your thoughts on finding movement that’s joyful – so important! 🙂
I enjoyed this one! I’m not a mother, but my relationship with exercised has definitely changed since graduating from college 5 years ago. I no longer view it as a punishment, and I relish in rest days. I LOVE moving my body daily and in ways that feel good. Sometimes that’s running a half-marathon and sometimes that’s doing light yoga in my living room. – Kaitlyn | http://www.poweredbysass.com
I agree with everything you said Cody! I love how most of us here can really relate to your story. Whether we have reached to the stage you are in now, or perhaps are in the midst of a stage you were once in. Shows us how recovery is not linear, but a continuum. Sometimes my movement is walking from one class to the next, climbing the steps to sit in a two hour lecture, and let me brain do most of the exercise! Other days I find myself with more time, and can do a hike or take a yoga class. Everyday is so different, unlike my “ridged” day. Now I find the most enjoyment on the days movement was spontaneous and not planned. Thanks again for the share!
Totally working on this since becoming a new mom. I don’t like exercising at home and if I can’t do the X number of minutes, I’m like why do it at all!? It’s been a struggle. I love moving and being active and it’s been hard to be OK with being less active. As a dietitian I tell my clients all the time, whatever you can get in, whatever feels good to you is fantastic. I know that it’s OK to be less active but it’s way easier said than done. Lately, I’ve been taking more walks with my dog and even if I have more time I take a shorter walk just to practice being OK with doing less time. It helps with the all or nothing mindset. Cheers to working on that intuition. 🙂
I loved this post (and all your guest posts, Cody)! My relationship with exercise was forced to change when I got a knee injury. I’ve had it for almost 6 years, and I’ve had to learn to trust my body and listen to my body so I don’t hurt my knee. My idea of movement has changed dramatically, where a walk could be my movement for the day, or some weeks I may workout more than others. I’m thankfully for this injury because it has forced me to let go of control.
John is such a cutie! Loved this write up, Cody. I’m about o be a new mom any day now and know that exercise will change. I’m a former marathon runner (love running) but definitely open to what’s going to be flexible and enjoyable after baby.
I really enjoyed this post. I’ve read about different women’s relationships with exercise, but you brought something new to the table by sharing how insignificant your relationship to exercise is right now in your life. I feel like I have made major changes- I was just saying to my mom yesterday that now I can wake up and not exercise first thing, which was a routine I was very strict about for many years. I am more flexible about when and what I do for movement, but after reading your post I realized that I do still think about it quite a bit… I plan for it/around it and still feel a bit of a commitment to it. Thank you so much for sharing your current thoughts about exercise and for inspiring me to continue to let my relationship with exercise unfold as it needs to.
I love this post so much. In the past year, I’ve been transitioning from having a very strict training-based outlook to a much more gentle movement-based one. Now, I make time for walks with friends or solo walks with a podcast, if that’s what I feel I need, while before I wouldn’t do those things because I’d feel like they were a “waste of time” since I wasn’t formally exercising and building muscle or whatever. I especially love what you said about how we don’t always have the ability to exercise even if it’s what our bodies want, and that’s okay too. I’ve def dealt with this in college, where I’m totally feeling a solid HIIT sesh but I also have 3 exams the next day that I need to study for plus want to get a good night’s sleep, and so I skip it because at the end of the day, that one day of mixed exercise literally makes no difference. Thank you, Cody. Also John’s cuteness is TOO MUCH TO HANDLE <3
When I was healing my relationship with exercise I had a LOT of little pep talks with myself and I found them super helpful. I recently noticed that I haven’t had to give myself pep talks recently when I couldn’t fit a work out in, despite intuitively wanting to. That was until I got shin splints last week… I love running and I knew I couldn’t run for awhile in order to let myself heal and I was sad about it. Cue the return of the pep talks! Life is always throwing challenges at us, but I love that I can adapt and learn more about myself and see how far I’ve come in repairing my relationship with exercise. I can only imagine how much more I will learn about myself if and when I am blessed with a baby! Great post!
I know I’m late to this post, but I was googling around and found this wonderful blog! This is so good to know! I used to (as in five min ago) 🙂 believe that the only “good” way to move my body was one that got my heart pumping & sweat pouring. I would feel guilty if I just walked 2 miles and didn’t go to my regular kickbox cardio/spin/swimming sessions.
I gave birth on October 2nd, and I overdid it post birth. I may have lost the weight, but I believe that jumping right back into my exercise classes made my vaginal birth recovery harder.
I think this post is wonderful, but I do think for some people at least, the need for movement changes as you get older. When I was younger I could go years without exercising at all and suffer no ill effects from it. But in my early 50’s I was in a deep depression and basically couldn’t get off the couch for 2 years. Boy did I pay for that lack of movement. I got stiffer and stiffer and more and more weak. I had several bad falls that injured me quite a bit. When I finally felt a bit better emotionally, I was so glad to be able to exercise! And I found that my body felt much better for it. All this is to say that I agree with your point that it’s important to listen to our own bodies to determine how much we exercise, not what society tells us we should do. And be aware that the need for exercise can change over your lifespan. Thankfully the older years don’t tend to coincide with the baby-rearing years for most people (unless they’re taking care of grandkids!), so my time is mostly my own now, to exercise when I need and want to.