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Body Image, Self Care, Thoughts

5 Thoughts [Bathing Suit Season & Self Compassion]

May 28, 2018 By Robyn 32 Comments

1. This Baby

I’m sure some of you have seen this picture floating around the internet. Every time I see it I laugh because it’s so great. Summer is almost in full swing which means bathing suit season and I hope this picture helps ease some of the anxiety, insecurity or pressure you might feel at the thought of putting on a swimsuit. And know that it’s okay if you don’t love being in a bathing suit. I don’t get excited about being in a bathing suit and I think that’s normal and okay. A bathing suit simply isn’t what makes me feel best in my body.

But I also really love the sun and the beach or a pool and you can’t do that in clothes. I guess you could, but for me it wouldn’t feel the same. I think sometimes we tend to think other women don’t struggle with body acceptance as much as we ourselves do, when that’s probably not true. I’m human too and while I do share the message of body acceptance all the time, that doesn’t mean I get in a bathing suit and think, “You go girl!” It’s more like, “This isn’t my first clothing choice but what is my first choice is caring for my body, enjoying my life and engaging in conversations and experiences that matter and this bathing suit allows me to do that. Now go enjoy your life and focus on what matters Robyn.”

2. The Crown

I don’t keep up with pop culture, but I do find the royal family fascinating. Especially after my mom and I visited London last January I found myself wanting to know and learn more and more. I think I find it so interesting because a monarchy is such a foreign concept. And I think Meghan Markle is just cool and a boundary pusher. So Nick and I started watching the Crown last week after hearing friends rave about it and even after a couple shows, I’m into it.

3. Weekend in Newport

For Memorial Day weekend we drove down to Newport, RI and rented a little Airbnb with one of our really good couple friends from New York. When I find myself missing New York, what I’m missing is the people and they are some people I really miss. It was a really relaxing weekend and fun to explore Newport since I’ve never been.

The best thing I ate all weekend was this lunch of swordfish  tacos with slaw and a pineapple salsa that was perfect eaten outside in the sunshine. The fries look like nothing special, but were surprisingly some of the best fries I’ve eaten lately.

4. Morning Routines

I’ve gotten into this pattern lately where I’m going to bed later and then not waking up until 7 or so. Which is fine, but I have client appointments that start early in the morning so it doesn’t leave me with much of a morning to read, eat breakfast in a non-rushed way, get some fresh air before I sit down to see clients for the morning and pull myself together. It feels all crunched together. I’m someone that actually doesn’t do well with structure and routine. I really wish that was my natural tendency, but over the years I’ve realized I have to work to incorporate that into my life because it surely does not come naturally. Once I read about Gretchen Rubin’s four tendencies (which help you better understand how you form habits and respond to expectations) everything in my life felt validated. I was like, OHHHHHH. I GET IT NOW. I highly recommend figuring out what tendency you are by clicking that link – at least for me it was helpful.

All that to say, I would love to get into bed earlier so I can wake up earlier and have a calmer morning with more of a rhythm than a free for all. Essentially, I need to parent myself a little better and simply start getting ready for bed earlier. There’s noting that I have to do that late at night. But lately I’ve felt like a sponge and have been wanting to learn more and more professionally (which is a good thing, but not so good when it starts making my mornings crazy) so at night I’m reading a book or article or listening to a webinar. Or let’s be real, some nights I’m just mindlessly scrolling through instagram. Goal this coming week….bed time by 10pm. If you do the quiz, share with me what tendency you are in the comments!

5. Self Compassion

Kristen Neff is a world recognized expert in self compassion and her work is awesome. Cultivating self compassion is critical if we want to find peace with food and our bodies. When I began my own journey, it felt really weird to be more kind and compassionate towards myself because I had spent most of my life bullying myself. I talk a lot about self compassion with clients, especially when doing body image work, and this is a topic we dialogued through during last week’s live Q&A session for my e-course. We talked through tools and tips to help foster more self compassion and how we overcome what gets in the way of having more self compassion for ourselves. I highly recommended checking out Kirsten Neff’s website where she has all kinds of resources and tools for you to get started on your own journey towards self compassion. If that resonates with you, I hope you find her site helpful!

Have a great week!


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Filed Under: Body Image, Self Care, Thoughts

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Comments

  1. Kath Eats says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:16 am

    Love all of this!

    Reply
  2. Doro says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:18 am

    I LOVE Gretchen Rubin’s framework of the Four Tendencies! I am a classic Upholder and I always wondered why no one got anything done except for me (and on the other hand, I was always super stressed out because I wanted to meet all my expectations). The Four Tendencies also has been a huge game changer in my relationship (and even though my boyfriend as a Questioner questions the validity of the framework, he grumpily agrees on many statements made about Questioners).

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 6:59 pm

      Yes knowing Nick’s tendencies have been so helpful!!

      Reply
  3. Leia says

    May 28, 2018 at 8:55 am

    Great post, Robyn. I took the Four Tendencies quiz and am an upholder. I feel like this is pretty accurate- I tend to meet others’ expectations as well as my own, but sometimes I get anxiety or feel uncertain when clear outer expectations aren’t laid out for me. I can also feel overwhelmed or like I have failed when I cannot meet expectations.

    Also Newport is so beautiful I hope you enjoyed!! I’m from New Jersey but need to check out that fish taco place the next time I go! Do you remember the name of the restaurant?

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:00 pm

      I’m so glad it felt accurate for you Leia 🙂

      It was so beautiful in Newport!! I ate the tacos at the International Tennis Club (I think that’s the name??)

      Reply
  4. Katie says

    May 28, 2018 at 10:26 am

    I’m in love with Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Elizabeth Craft! I’ve been listening to their podcast, Happier, for years and highly recommend it. Liz now has a podcast as well with her writing partner called Happier in Hollywood, which I also love! And I’m most definitely an Upholder (with a rebellious side when I get too anxious 🙂 ).

    Reply
  5. Jen says

    May 28, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    I’m an upholder, too routined Lol

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:01 pm

      I need some upholder in me!

      Reply
  6. Erin Koerner says

    May 28, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    I love quizzes! I am mostly an Upholder with a little bit of Rebel mixed in. 🙂 I’m definitely adding The Four Tendencies to my summer reading list. Have a great Monday, Robyn!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:02 pm

      I’m a rebel and wish I wasn’t so much! I feel like it makes my life way harder than it needs to be lol

      Have a great week!

      Reply
  7. Christy says

    May 28, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    I’m an obliger. No surprise there – always wanting to please people and get external validation (something I’m actively working towards going against in therapy)

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:03 pm

      I’m a huge fan of therapy Christy 🙂

      Reply
  8. koala says

    May 28, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    I would love to know what tendency you are, Robyn. I’m an upholder 🙂 Great post, as always!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:03 pm

      I’m a rebel which I don’t love but have tried to work with that tendency 🙂

      Reply
  9. Ashley V says

    May 28, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    I haven’t read the book about the four tendencies, but I’m an upholder through and through. I took the quiz, but I think anyone who knows me could’ve called me out as an upholder even without the quiz. 😉 I really appreciate your thoughts about bathing suit season. I have never been a fan of wearing a bathing suit, but I’ve also never been a fan of hot weather! I would choose mountains over the beach 100% of the time, so I can’t even remember the last time I put on a bathing suit, ha!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:03 pm

      I’m totally mountains over beach as well too!

      Reply
  10. Katie says

    May 28, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    I am a questioner! Love Gretchen Rubin and her tendencies framework. Also a huge fan of the podcast! What tendency are you?

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:04 pm

      A rebel. Not one that I would pick for myself but its helpful to know that about myself!

      Reply
  11. Brittany Audra @ Audra's Appetite says

    May 29, 2018 at 9:06 am

    Thanks for the quiz! I am an upholder…and the description really fits me haha. Something I’ve been learning this past year is that I often put very high expectations on myself. What tendency are you? I may have missed it but don’t think you shared?

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:05 pm

      I’m a rebel! Not one I have picked ha but it helped me understand myself SO MUCH

      Reply
  12. rachel says

    May 29, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    Love the beach body meme!! And I’m an obliger (but I definitely think part of me is an upholder) I’m actually reading Better Than Before right now, and it’s so cool to learn more about habits (even though I don’t agree with all her thoughts on nutrition haha

    Reply
    • koala says

      May 29, 2018 at 6:19 pm

      YES! She is amazing, but speaks about food in a really disturbed way on the podcast. I’m sure it works great for her, but she should consider her audience and influence. Both she and her sister talks about weight as if it’s a given that everyone wants to lose/get thinner.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        May 29, 2018 at 7:07 pm

        I haven’t heard her thoughts on food or her podcast so I’m not familiar with that side of her work. For now, I’ll focus on the 4 Tendencies 🙂

        Reply
  13. Nancy says

    May 29, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Interesting quiz! I’m an Upholder—no surprise to me there. Love my routines and structure 🙂 I think having my husband take this quiz could provide some valuable insight for us. Our Love Languages are complete opposites so I’m betting we will see something similar here. Sometimes it’s just good to remember that not everyone sees the world the same way I do 🙂

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      May 29, 2018 at 7:08 pm

      Nick and I are opposite in love language, tendencies and Myers Briggs – I guess opposites do attract and you are so right, everyone sees the world so differently!

      Reply
  14. Emily Swanson says

    May 29, 2018 at 1:50 pm

    Thank you for that quiz. I love those quizzes that help us understand ourselves a bit better. And I love just how eager you are to learn Robyn. I can definitely tell when you do your Instagram live videos that you love learning and if you don’t know something you’re eager to learn about that too. And those big chunky fries look amazing alongside those tacos.

    Reply
  15. Michelle says

    May 29, 2018 at 11:23 pm

    I was thinking “Robyn must be a rebel” before I even saw your answer 😉 ! I remember when we hung out in NYC talking about our personalities, so I guessed right. I’m going to take the quiz now, but guessing I’m an upholder 🙂
    Hope Boston is treating you well lovely!

    Reply
  16. Hannah says

    May 30, 2018 at 12:51 am

    Wah I’m an obliger – it makes life pretty hard! Always frustrated with myself! Would adore to be sometime who finds routine easy. There are SO many things I want to do!
    Love your stuff by the way. It’s helping me hugely.

    Reply
  17. Kira says

    May 30, 2018 at 1:26 am

    Add another tally in the Upholder column.

    Reply
  18. Amber @ Bloom Nutrition Therapy says

    June 4, 2018 at 12:05 pm

    Well, it SAYS that I’m an Upholder, but I swear I don’t feel that way. I definitely feel like I have a lot of rebel in me because I SO hate it when I can’t do what I want to do and I have a hard time signing up for things because I know it will commit me to something. HOWEVER, if I do agree to do something, I for sure carry through with it, so maybe that’s where the Upholder comes in.

    I love you discussion about bathing suits and body positivity. I agree with you in recognizing that wearing a bathing suit does NOT mean you have to feel amazing about it. Trying to make yourself feel awesome about something that you don’t may be too overwhelming in that action alone.

    Reply
  19. Sarah says

    June 5, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    I’m a rebel! I have noticed my tendencies change through recovery. Before, I would say I did not have a tendency to really listen to my own voice at all. Now, I do! Yet, I also am learning how to balance that with also listening to others. It’s kind of funny because I am definitely a people pleaser so I was a little surprised to see that I have a rebel tendency.

    Reply
  20. Justine says

    June 26, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    I’m SUCH a questioner. Literally always questioning everything. Maybe that’s why I’m a sociology + philosophy major haha!

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years o A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years of getting to spend so much time with my kids: aka another way I’m discovering some pockets of peace so my heart & mind & soul don’t crumble under the reality of dependent & emotionally dysregulated tiny humans.  About once a week we go somewhere for baked goods. We drive or walk, buy something buttery & then find a beautiful, relatively quiet outdoor spot where the boys can romp and I can sit and think my thoughts while I watch them play. This past week we were found ourselves at the Wool Factory where the boys threw rocks & whatever else off the bridge while I ate 90% of this almond 🥐 from @coucourachou that will blow your mind. Boys ate the other 10% bc they were busy playing and didn’t ask for more quickly enough 😜  I’m finding *for me* playgrounds have a time & place but they aren’t where I enjoy motherhood & my two toddlers the most. Baked goods & a pretty outdoor spot without high drops my 15 month old could launch himself off of…I’m here for it.
I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the boys to hike out at one of our favorite spots last week and when I ripped it open I was regretting my choice to share them with my kids. @baresnacks randomly sent me a box of snacks and I usually eat free food we receive or give it to a friend/neighbor and move on. But I felt it my duty to tell you about these bc they are THAT GOOD. I’m not getting paid and this isn’t sponsored - I was just shocked at how tasty these were and felt you needed to know. We ate them with some buttery roasted nuts and the combo was 👌🏻 but they are good just on their own.  The boys climbed rocks and swam in the reservoir - leave it to my almost 3 year old to want to strip down naked and fully submerge himself in chilly water on a sixty degree morning. “Mama can I get super nakey?” Sure baby. Sure. This is your childhood.
It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of extended alone time away from the babies to just be. And that isn’t something that’s best for me, it’s an area I gotta grow in. So this afternoon when Nick pushed me out the door and was like - get out of here plzzzz - I walked to my favorite cafe and ordered a thick pastrami sandwich and sat there for a good LONG while before taking a long, peaceful walk in the rain to wrap up the afternoon. Note to self: stop being such a control freak and go be by yourself sometimes.
a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face from @mariebettecafe this morning when she came to get her toddler who played with us all morning and it is v good. even better when paired with an iced latte 😍
#AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing a #AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing about how taking @alignprobiotic regularly has improved my digestive regularity.  And I’m still taking them! I’ve permanently added Align 24/7 Digestive Support* into the roundup of supplements I take before bed (prenatal, vitamin D, choline & DHA - all which help keep me healthy while breastfeeding) so I can keep seeing the benefits.  Just because you see benefits, doesn’t mean you should stop taking your probiotic. Keep taking Align daily (under the supervision and recommendation of your health care provider of course) to keep seeing the benefits!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - one of my favorite parts of Align probiotics is that they don’t need refrigeration AND they come in a convenient little blister pack that has the days labeled. It’s the little things people! #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoo I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoon (91 and muggy in MAY 🤯) when a toddler nap was refused and a baby nap was cut wildly short ....so my tired mom brain pulled out two plastic storage bins, filled them up with soap & hose water and striped ‘em down naked in the yard. Two hours later, it was almost time for an early dinner and I had magically been able to sit for most of that time and we already had baths checked off the list. 👍🏻 I’m archiving this idea for my future self, hope it helps another tired mama out.
#AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about #AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about getting better at doing the basics to care for myself which included taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic regularly.  Probiotics take time to work so I wanted to give it a full month to see the full effects of @alignprobiotic. So here are my honest thoughts: it took a few weeks to notice any differences, but near the end of the month I did notice some changes in my digestive balance - even while traveling! I’m not someone who experiences occasional gas, bloating or abdominal discomfort frequently enough to notice a difference, so I don’t feel like I can comment on how well Align works for those benefits.  All in all though, taking @alignprobiotic was a positive experience and I really appreciated how the capsules don’t need to be stored in the fridge, making it convenient to take them with me anywhere #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Because the swampy VA summer has already begun (it’s in the low 90s today 🥵 lord help) and creeks are our retreat - not only from the heat but also from the noisy world. I need this just (if not more) than they do! We’ll be at the splash pads and pools too, but the quietness of the creek...my mental health is so about it. And it’s hours of play for them! Win win.  A couple things to note: this scene also included a few toddler reminders on finding another direction to throw rocks instead of at his brother - so not all is serene 🤪 and also, yes I am now that mom who buys the same clothing for both kids bc it keeps things simple & i think i kinda like it too 🤷🏻‍♀️
Things I love about midwifery among many: the appo Things I love about midwifery among many: the appointments, no matter how long, feel so unhurried. 
Just walked in from an appointment with my midwife because I was due for a Pap test + an overall wellness visit. My last pap was during my first trimester with Cal which feels like a jillion years ago, but it’s only actually been three years. Life changes so fast! Pre-baby life feels like a whole other life.  I’m wayyyy overdue for a visit to my PCP bc I’ve been under OBGYN or midwifery care for the majority of the past three years while having babies, but I am pretty good with keeping up with my paps. It seems women often think they need pap and/or HPV testing way more frequently than they do (and providers sometimes perform these tests more frequently than necessary - remember more testing doesn’t always mean better outcomes!)  So if you need it, here’s a quick little reminder on this chilly spring Friday afternoon on how often you need this testing (these are the recommendations from ACOG)  Women aged 21–29 years should have a Pap test alone every 3 years. HPV testing is not recommended.  Women aged 30–65 years should have a Pap test and an HPV test (aka co-testing) every 5 years (preferred). It also is acceptable to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.  If you get abnormal results, this testing frequency could change - but for healthy women with normal results, you actually don’t need testing as frequently as you might think. Which is great news for those of you who hate the speculum.  Ok, off to finish up some things on the to-do list (including cleaning this kitchen) during nap time and then come 5 o’clock, crack an IPA with our neighbors 🍻
#AlignPartner Over the past seven months since bec #AlignPartner Over the past seven months since becoming a mom of two, caring for myself has gotten shoved to the back burner. And it's been a challenge to make it a priority. My routine-resistant personality has upsides and downsides when it comes to motherhood. So I'm starting small this year with a consistent bedtime routine that includes taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic and hoping as that becomes consistent, my mornings will naturally shift too.  In short my bedtime currently goes like this….jammies & face care when putting the babies to bed. Before I go to bed (anytime between 9pm and 12am...) I’ll pump, take my supplements and fill my water. Then I go upstairs and brush my teeth. And then get in bed. The kicker: 70% of the time I find myself finishing up tasks on my phone IN BED. I hate this habit.  Back to supplements. This is something I have been able to stick with. On top of fish oil, my prenatal, choline and vitamin D, I recently added @AlignProbiotic 24/7 Digestive Support*§ to see if it helps with abdominal discomfort and regularity because when I don’t drink coffee or am traveling that can get thrown off.  I’ll be taking it every day for the next 28 days since it takes TIME for our bodies to adjust to probiotics - and I'll be taking you guys along with me as I share my honest thoughts. Many people think if they don’t see changes within the first 7-10 days then the probiotic isn’t working, but that’s not the case. I’m giving myself more than just a week or two and instead a full month to see the full benefits. I’ll keep you posted over the next month. Check out my stories to learn more! #MyAlignGutJourney #guthealth
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care f We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care for a nap. Putting baby down was harder than I wanted it to be. Miraculously, I had a moment of clarity as I was covered in tiny humans and decided I wasn’t doing the nap battle thing a on 60 degree, gorgeous, sunny spring day 🙅🏻‍♀️ so I piled both babies into the car half naked, opened the sun roof, put on white noise for them and an audio book for me and drank a kombucha as I drove a meal to a postpartum mama. Thirty five minutes later we had a sleeping baby and a toddler who at least had a rest. Baby transferred without waking HALLELUJAH and although my toddler didn’t nap today (lord help) at least we got soaked in breezy sunshine 😎🤘🏻💆🏻‍♀️
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!

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