Intuitive eating is a dynamic concept. It can’t be muddled down to eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full because there are so many other factors that play into our satiation and satisfaction with food. Emphasis on the satisfaction piece.
And although intuitive eating is always the end goal with any client we work with and the patients I see as a Nurse Practitioner, there’s a time and a place for the concept of intuitive eating to be applied. Intuitive eating isn’t for everyone in every circumstance….but I believe it is always the end goal.
The two main circumstances where I don’t direct someone towards intuitive eating first are:
1) when you begin recovery from an eating disorder
2) when trying to break free from dieting (which is a form of disordered eating and possibly an eating disorder
If you’re recovering from an eating disorder, the first priority is to stabilize your relationship with food and get your body physically nourished and stop the body and brain starvation. That means eating frequently (including 3 meals and snacks) throughout the day with adequate carbs, proteins and fats. In order to become an intuitive eater your cognitive function has to be intact so you’re able to tease apart a lot of thoughts and feeling and beliefs. If you’re not sure how to do that, work with a registered dietitian you trust. After your body is consistently nourished, then you can move onto introducing more intuitive eating principles bit by bit in a way that is best for you.
If you’re someone who hasn’t had an eating disorder but who has had some degree of a disordered relationship with food (which is like 90% of the population, including myself) then you probably need to learn what it means to adequately nourish your body. After a period of time restricting your food intake, overexercising, restricting and then binging – or some combination of any of those, you become so out of touch with your body that it’s difficult to tell when you are hungry and full. With many of our clients, if I encourage them to eat when they’re hungry…they might not actually ever eat because they don’t feel hunger. They may feel other sensations like lightheadedness, irritability or fatigue…but eating based on physical hunger is really hard. And knowing how to respond to those different sensations within their body to meet a need feels really foreign.
Since we live in a culture where dieting is normal and food restriction is a way of life, it’s common to learn that someone has been under eating for a really, really long time which causes your body to compensate and store energy so you don’t utilize energy as efficiently. Stress hormones are high, your hunger and fullness hormones – ghrelin and leptin – are out of sync and you have no idea what your body is telling you. So in the beginning stages, learning to feed yourself adequately often means eating when you’re not necessarily hungry. But then your body starts to trust you again, hormones settle out (with the help of self care, sleep and non stressful movement too) and your cortisol levels decrease. You learn to begin listening to what your body is telling you instead of eating based on external cues.
Of course certain elements of intuitive eating can be applied during the process of learning to feed your body adequately – like eating foods you crave and that have been off limits for so long, rejecting the diet mentality, honoring your body’s sensations and so forth. But only after you learn to feed yourself and wake up your hunger/fullness cues do I think the rest of the intuitive eating principles can be explored.
It’s a journey and a process that takes total surrender to any particular body size or diet dogma. Often this journey takes years and a lot of hard work. Allowing yourself permission to eat any and all foods, allowing your body to find it’s natural size and doing the hard, brave psychological work takes a lot time so give yourself time and patience in this journey towards food and body peace. Intuitive eating is so much more than eating when your hungry and stopping when your full. It’s eating out of self care when you’re not necessarily hungry, but know your body needs nourishment. It’s eating out of pure pleasure. It’s eating for convenience even when it might not be the most satisfying food experience. It’s learning to become competent around all foods, including highly palatable foods like burgers and cupcakes and candy. It’s complex, but it’s so worth it.
If you’ve been stuck in the depths of an eating disorder or a pattern of disordered thoughts around food, you’re not alone and it’s never too late. Your body hasn’t betrayed you…it’s been there all along. But it’s does need some care as heals from months or years of not being taken care of. Your body is resilient. With the right tools, your body learns how to utilize energy efficiently again and balance hormones so you’re more in tune with hunger and fullness. You can get to a healthier place were you can then implement more intuitive eating principles.
Even when you are in a place to fully practice intuitive eating, I often find that people grow impatient and aren’t willing to stick with intuitive eating for the long haul. It’s not a quick fix and you won’t get instant gratification. It’s also not about weight loss. That’s called a diet. IE is not a diet. You can’t micromanage your body size and be an intuitive eater. It doesn’t work that way. It takes giving your body the nutrients and energy along with the pleasure and satisfaction and care it needs to thrive and be well day in and day out. That’s hard to cultivate, but so worth it. I can’t imagine any other way to live and it’s there waiting for you too.
I’d love to hear your thoughts or own personal journey with intuitive eating so share in the comments so others can hear too!
And if you want to read more on this I highly recommend the book Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size.
I think I’m finally starting to get back in touch with my hunger/fullness cues. After 13+ years of disordered eating, it’s strange! But good. I feel a whole lot better when I actually pay attention to what (and how much) my body wants to eat, and listen to that! Still having trouble not being part of the clean-your-plate club though, I always feel like I have to eat everything.
It’s a journey Emily! Thinking of you!
My journey with IE is definitely in its beginning stages still. I have good days and bad days. Finding your blog and the Food Psych podcast have helped me tremendously, especially when it comes to putting words to my feelings. The hardest thing for me right now is eating by the clock. I have to work really hard to eat when I am hungry even if it isn’t x time or whatever. My hormones are also out of whack, which can be difficult at times. But I think the biggest thing for me is to really process through my emotions and not use food and exercise to numb them out. Thank you so much for your encouraging words 🙂
I’m currently starting the eating disorder recovery process for the second time and I have struggled so badly with eating by the clock for years! It is so frustrating and annoying but it is something I have not been able to break yet. It makes it impossible to eat with others and it ruins plans and spontaneity on the daily, which I’m so sick of. I’m honestly considering covering clocks around me to try to eat when I’m hungry, but then I fear I won’t be able to listen to and trust my body to eat. It’s a mess. I hope we can both learn to leave eating by the clock behind and live our lives!
Hi Erica! I actually love the idea of covering the clocks. I agree it may be hard to trust our bodies, but I think we can get there some day with a little help, patience, and grace for ourselves. Because I want some spontaneity back in my life too! Thinking about you 🙂
Hi Julianne, putting words to feelings is a hard but huge step. Learning to feel and then to respond with what you body actually needs in that moment (not react) is hard but so freeing. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Robyn! You have such a kind, beautiful soul, thank you for sharing your wisdom and support to the world! I struggled with the diet mentality from 7th grade until two years ago (so for about 12 years) and it feels amazing to be broken free of the diet chains. Question- can you at some point do a post about grocery shopping for intuitive eating? I want to be able to listen to my body and not have to create structured meal plans in case my body is craving something different, but don’t know how to do this without spending 4 billion dollars. You are an inspiration! Keep doing what you’re doing 🙂
Hi Ilana! LOVE this post idea. I am adding it to my list!
I’m going to tell you again, Robyn. God has used you to change my life and bring healing to my body and mind after a life-long struggle with disordered eating (I’m 35)! I am *finally* getting it and actually finding pleasure in caring for my body. I’m now thinking things like, “Hey body, how can I help you the best today?”. It is an answer to a what felt like an impossible prayer. A miracle, really.
Keep doing this work! You will find out someday when we are all Home in Heaven, just how the Lord has used you and your experience to change the lives of people like me. Blessings to you! ~Tracy
Tracy thank you so much, really it means a ton. This is a beautiful journey you are on and it’s amazing to hear how God is working in your life. XO
It started hitting just the edges of this maybe a year ago and it is SO freeing to listen and eat what
Your body or mind wants. Which, as you said you
Can’t do in every phase. Thanks for a great post, Robyn!
SO FREEING!
It sounds simple, but it’s SO darn hard. I’ve heard GREAT things about the Intuitive Eating book. Thanks for an amazing post, Robyn!
hope you enjoy the book Carrie!
Hi Robyn, thank you so much for this post! I’m currently in the eating disorder recovery process for the second time and I was wondering if you have any tips for becoming in touch with hunger cues? I find that I’m starving but then after eating I develop stomach pains and feel too full. I haven’t followed hunger cues in years, which I think is why I don’t feel them anymore since they’ve been suppressed for so long. I really just want to have them back so that food and hunger aren’t the focus of my life anymore. Also, any recommendations on quitting eating by the clock would be wonderful, I have done this for years and it makes it impossible to have a normal day without constant planning and being part of spontaneous activities. Thank you for everything that you do, you’re the best!
Hey, Erica, I have gone through a similar thing. I ignored hunger cues and underate for so long that I stopped feeling hungry. I would eat a really small amount of food and then feel super full and bloated and it totally sucked. My digestion was awful. I saw a nutritionist and got really frustrated when she said, “Eat when you are hungry,” because I was like what does that even mean?!? I’m never hungry! Haha…I just want to encourage you and tell you that it does get better. I am still not perfectly healed and eating “normally,” but the hunger cues will come back. I had to do what Robyn mentioned–eating snacks when I wasn’t necessarily hungry. Even unintentionally overeating at times, oddly enough, was uncomfortable but helped me to see what fullness actually felt like…best of luck to you. This is a hard journey but you are on the right path!
Hi Kelly, thank you so much! It’s so wonderful getting to connect to others that have gone through the same struggle as it often feels like no one around me understands. I will definitely work on eating more snacks and eating more overall to hopefully gain back my hunger cues. Thank you infinitely for your advice and support!
Loving this supportive conversation! You are so not alone Erica <3
Kelly thank you for sharing and for your encouragement! Sharing your experiences helps others so much as they walk through the uncertain and often scary part of eating when not hungry and sitting with uncomfortable fullness. Like you said, hunger does come back! <3
Hi Erica! I very much hear you. This is something we do one on one with our clients so I wish I would share so much on the blog but I do want to be fair to paying clients..I hope you understand! Of course, we are always taking new clients if that is a good fit. But know that your body can and will heal. Sending you lots of love!
Can you go more into depth on: at what point in ED recovery do you think it is good to begin attempting intuitive eating habits? I know you said that someone would first need to get to a physical & mental healthy point, but what kinds of signs or indications to start actual intuitive eating should someone look for when they have been actively recovering?
Hi Maddy! I wish I could but it’s so individual that it’s nearly impossible to generalize and I would never want to lead anyone astray in giving advice that wasn’t good for them – depending on your personal situation those indicators will vary. Hope that helps a bit?
1000% agree with all of these. Learning to become competent around all foods has been such a journey but it is worth the freedom. It’s worth throwing off the chains of being tied to certain numbers or certain macros, especially as someone whose body has recovered from restriction. Robyn, I will never tire of your blog posts. <3 Thank you.
it is so so worth it! thanks for sharing emily. xo
You are such a beautiful human being. I’m so grateful for your work, if you only knew how much you help me (and others, I bet less than 1% of your readers actually leave a comment)… Well you’d be so proud and happy! I hope you already are. Thanks for the work you put into the blog, I hope it grows and grows and grows! Hugs from a grateful Koala Bear
It’s completely humbling to be able to influence other in this small space on the internet – know that what you take from here you share with others and YOU influence them! xo
I have battled on and off my ENTIRE life with disordered eating. I have been on every diet. I always stayed a reasonable weight until after I had kids. I developed thyroid disorder (Hashi’s), and have struggled since to find the balance between losing weight and not letting it take over my life. It made me miserable. It made me a miserable wife, a miserable mom, and a miserable nurse. About 1 year ago I decided to take control of my weight and eating. I had VSG (vertical sleeve gastrectomy) and have lost 65 lbs. I finally feel in control of my eating and my life. People do not realize how “disordered eating” (and I call it that but believe I definitely could be dx with a true eating d/o) takes over your life, consumes your thoughts. I now follow a plant based diet and am living happily and healthy. I do realize that this is something I will deal with my entire life and that my surgery is only a tool- not a solution. I am very interested in the whole intuitive eating concept. Robin- was wondering your thoughts on vsg and your experience with vsg and post vsg patients??????? And I did go through a year of nutrition counseling and psych evals prior to being approved for the surgery. I still have about 20 lbs to go to get to my goal weight, but wonder when that happens, will my cuckoo take over and will it be enough????
Hi Julie! I’d love to be able to help answer your questions and concerns – email me and we can chat more 🙂
[email protected]
Currently reading Intuitive Eating at your recommendation. It’s amazing!!!
so glad you’re loving it!
Hi Robyn–Thanks for your post. I have been working with a treatment team for over three years to address a lifelong eating disorder, and in the last year, my RD has introduced to me and coached me through intuitive eating. It has brought incredible freedom and healing to my relationship with food. I am aware of hunger and fullness, and have learned to notice when my cravings come from an emotional place and take care of my feelings. However, my weight has sky-rocketed this year, past the point that anyone on my treatment team thinks is natural for me. For a while, I accepted the weight gain, and even accepted that my set point may be higher than it was prior to my eating disorder. I embraced my curves and worked hard on body acceptance. But as my weight has continued to rapidly climb, I have started to question whether intuitive eating will work for my body. I have wondered if perhaps the decades of disordered eating, starting in my early childhood, have perhaps had some sort of metabolic impact that will prevent me from settling into a natural weight without some sort of intention (ie: attempt to control portions or eat certain foods in moderation). I am heart-broken by this thought. I feel like I am settling into the idea that intuitive eating is a beautiful, ideal concept, but one that comes at too high a price for me.
Hi Jess,
Thank you for sharing your story and where you’re at. And I admire your recovery journey so much!
The worry that “my body is not metabolically fit for IE” is one I hear often from women and I assure you…your body is very capable 🙂 I have no idea about your treatment story but I would make sure that you are getting tested to rule out any metabolic concerns (hypothyroidism, pcos, female hormone imbalances etc etc) — and then I would give yourself lots of TIME. It is quite common for the body to take a while to settle into its “set point” . You’re doing great! Continue being gentle. Rooting for you!
I feel that I have come a long way with IE. I am now able to identify fullness and hunger, however I still loosely follow the structure of my meal plan in ED recovery. My challenge is to truly honor my hunger and food desires even when it’s not a prescribed time to eat or the time to eat a certain food (i.e. dessert as a snack). I really need to read Health at Ever Size and Intuitive Eating!
Katherine! you have come so far! this is a journey – thanks for sharing where you’re at. I high recommend those books!
Just added those two books to my Amazon cart and can’t wait to tear through them. Man I wish I had known about intuitive eating back when I was trying to control everything that had to do with my food and exercise because I couldn’t even fathom the idea that my body actually knew exactly how much and what it needed. These days, I’m perfectly okay giving in to a craving of a bowl of granola plus a salad plus a random avocado as dinner when that’s what my body is asking for. Thank you! 🙂
hi Robyn,
I found this post after reading the one you did on Binge Eating Disorder and I was wondering what your thoughts were on that ED. Would you say that it is “safe” to start Intuitive Eating for someone who has BED? In my case I am working on the emotional part of it but after reading your other post i’m wondering whether I should address the physiological part at the same time via IE. Would love to hear your thoughts.
Hi Annie! I think I mentioned in the BED post about how those first three principles of IE are imperative in the BED recovery process — even before the emotional work. I hope that helps!
A few weeks ago I read the original intuitive eating book which was recommended by my therapist. It was scary and amazing and a process to start intuitive eating. It seemed great, but this last week has been hell. I started thinking about dieting two days ago and since then I can’t stop eating. It’s like everything that I’ve been learning and doing for the past two months went out the window. I feel hopeless, and angry, and sick to my stomach. Almost to the point of purging. I am recognizing all the points that are making me binge but I can’t get the “negative Nancy” out of my head, and all I see is the weight I’ve gained and the weakness I feel. I want to be strong and confident in my body, not overweight and sluggish and discontent. I don’t know what to do, and I’m so frustrated.