The Real Life RD

helping you find peace with food and your natural body size

  • the RD & NP
  • Online Courses
  • Women’s Wellness
  • Speaking
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • RSS
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
Body Image

Actionable Steps to Help You Develop Healthier Body Image

September 5, 2018 By Robyn 17 Comments

Developing positive body image doesn’t mean you go from hating to loving your body. And cultivating positive body image doesn’t mean you have to love your body. In fact, I think that’s quite unrealistic for the majority of people. I don’t love my body. Maybe you don’t either. But I do appreciate my body and care for my body just as it is today without any intentions of changing it’s appearance. To me, that is positive body image.

Positive body image can mean a lot of things once you start sifting through the media messages. The diet industry uses it as a marketing tool as they lead you to believe that they want you to love your body. This is manipulation. They are preying on your vulnerabilities by leading you to believe that your body is the problem and if you could fix your body, you would love your body.

Changing your body isn’t going to heal your body image. Believing that when all the media messaging (or messaging from your friend or your mom or your spouse) tells you that it will is really, really hard. Negative body image thoughts are an external representation of an internal struggle. There are actual feelings underneath causing those thoughts to bubble up. Fixing your body doesn’t truly help you better emotionally cope with your negative body image because your body isn’t the problem.

The road to positive body image usually goes like this: you stop hating your body and instead tolerate it –> you move from tolerating your body to actually accepting and respecting your body –> you might, but you certainly don’t have to, love your body or parts of your body. The journey towards healthier body image isn’t about changing your body, but rather experiencing your body in a less painful way.

And in this journey, behaviors typically change before thoughts change. And thoughts shift and change before your emotions towards your body change. Behaviors are those actionable steps that likely feel most realistic to change. Once behaviors shift, those thoughts begin to loosen up and it becomes easier to shift thoughts. And lastly, with a lot of hard and often emotionally charged work…your emotions will shift too. If this journey seems really long and really hard, you’re in the right place. Body image work is HARD.

So what are some behaviors you can begin to shift? Here are some that might resonate with you.

Stop body checking. If you need to cover up your mirrors do it. Stop standing in front of the mirror when you get in and out of the shower. Stand in the back of the workout class so you can’t see yourself in the mirror. Whatever you need to do to stop body checking, do it. Never seeing your body isn’t the end goal, but while you’re feeling highly vulnerable in this journey, avoiding mirrors might be really helpful for you. A realistic end goal might be to see your body in the mirror and the majority of the time have neutral thoughts or no thoughts at all towards your body. But in the beginning, it can be really helpful to avoid mirrors. If you find yourself staring into a mirror or window, that’s okay – when you become aware of this behavior, shift your gaze elsewhere.

Fill your closet with clothing for your body just as it is right now. Maybe that means you donate all the clothes in your closet that don’t fit and/or don’t feel good on your body. If you’re not quite ready to donate them, perhaps you store them away where you can’t see or access them. Buying clothes is a financial investment that isn’t feasible for everyone. Can you purchase clothes at a thrift shop? Borrow some clothes from a friend? At the very least, wearing any type of clothing that actually fits can do wonders for your body image.

Social media: if you scroll past something and it doesn’t help you live a better life…unfollow. Scrolling through social media can be a knee-jerk reaction where we don’t even realize what we’re doing until we’re knee deep into scrolling and feeling bad about ourselves. A client of mine recently inactivated all her social media accounts, and while she has had to sit with boredom and figuring out how to fill her time instead of scrolling…a clean break was just what she needed.

Exercise. If you’re choosing exercise with the hope (either subconciously or conscious) of your body changing, cultivating healthy body image will be nearly, if not almost, impossible. I found developing a healthy relationship with exercise to be much more difficult than intuitive eating. It was HARD. Perhaps you need to stop doing any forms of exercise that have the potential to change your body for a period of time. Stretch, do some casual walking, roll out on your foam roller, do some gentle yoga if that feels good…but perhaps you need to take a break completely from all other kinds of movement. You can’t exercise with the intention to change your body in a mindful way. Can you have exercise related goals and still be mindful around exercise? Here’s more on that.

Create a list of people you admire and respect and think about why you feel the way you do about them. What qualities do you admire about them? Why do you enjoy being around them? I’m pretty confident it has nothing to do with their body size/shape.

Note in a mindful way when you notice yourself comparing your body to others and gently redirect your gaze and/or your thoughts. Can you go engage in a conversation with someone? Do you need to remove yourself from your current environment for a breather? Shifting a judgmental thought to an observation can often be helpful too. For example: Instead of thinking, “Her legs are skinnier and more toned than mine.” you could shift that to, “She has long and narrow legs.” Try some of these things on and see if they are helpful for you.

Start every single morning with three gratitudes. Starting your day in a place of abundance instead of lack can make a profound difference in how you think and feel throughout your day. Focusing your thoughts, time and energy on changing your body isn’t going to allow you to live a happier life.

Positive body image isn’t loving your body, it’s thinking of your body less because you’re directing your thoughts, time and energy towards creating a vibrant, fulfilling life that aligns with your values. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! What are some behavior changes that have been helpful for you? Or what current behaviors would you like to change?


YOU MAY ALSO LIKE...

  • Good Stuff In, Good Stuff Out {read this stuff}Good Stuff In, Good Stuff Out {read this stuff}
  • Cultivating Positive Body ImageCultivating Positive Body Image
  • Better Body Image & Self Care With A Capsule WardrobeBetter Body Image & Self Care With A Capsule Wardrobe
  • Your Body Is Not A BattlefieldYour Body Is Not A Battlefield

Filed Under: Body Image

« 5 Thoughts [hormone labs + serving sizes + end of summer]
Finding New Interests After an Eating Disorder »

Comments

  1. Sara says

    September 5, 2018 at 9:43 am

    Love this! Thank you for all of these helpful tips! Things I need/want to work on, stop comparing myself to others, stop thinking so much about/obsessing over my meals, being more grateful for my body and what it allows me to do every single day!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 5, 2018 at 6:52 pm

      Love all of those things! Start with one this week and then add on another in a week or two as it feels feasible. Rooting for you Sara!

      Reply
  2. Emily Swanson says

    September 5, 2018 at 2:26 pm

    I really love this. It’s about simple steps and really checking in with the way I’m thinking about my body, and one of the biggest things that helps me is going into the right atmosphere or taking a step back to pray and think before stepping back in; I love your practical tips of wearing clothes that are right for my body right now. For so long I wanted to fit back into some clothes from before my teen years, and the time that I got rid of those was incredibly freeing.

    I really like too how you encourage us to gently redirect our gaze to the right place instead of being rough on ourselves about it. It seems like every day is a daily step towards more positive body image, appreciating the body for what it is right now, and the less we want to change it the more freeing and wonderful life is!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 5, 2018 at 6:53 pm

      every day is a small step in this lifelong journey for sure! some quiet time and prayer can certainly ground me too Emily so I’m glad that’s helpful for you too!

      Reply
  3. Liz says

    September 5, 2018 at 7:11 pm

    I recently got rid of my pre baby clothes. It felt really good, even though it was hard. I also have been trying to walk away from diet conversations or “body bashing” conversations. I’m currently working towards joyful movement. I totally agree that the exercise is almost more challenging than the eating. I find myself wanting to run and do intense work outs again but when I dig deep and ask myself why i want to do these workouts it’s mostly always comingup for me that it is because I think it will make me a different size. So I just stick with my walking and my yoga 🙂

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 6, 2018 at 9:51 am

      All of those things are worth investing your energy into so you can continue your journey towards healthy body image. Thinking of you Liz!

      Reply
  4. Ainslee W says

    September 6, 2018 at 1:02 am

    Incredibly helpful and powerful post. The topic of body image, when written about, us usually always about “self love”, but I really enjoyed this realistic perspective on a real-life problem.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 6, 2018 at 9:52 am

      So glad it resonated with you Ainslee! Miss you!! xx

      Reply
  5. Liz says

    September 6, 2018 at 1:23 pm

    I think that stopping exercise may be the right choice in some very limited circumstances, but in my opinion, there is no better way to stop focusing on how your body looks than to subject it to something that requires hard work, challenge, and risk. For example, climbing a 14er, completing a triathlon, or doing a three-day backpacking trip don’t leave you any time or energy to worry about how your body looks. Instead, they let women into what has historically been a men’s realm – what can your body DO? I don’t feel that shying away from these challenges will help women feel stronger, but making exercise out to be something harmful that you need to protect yourself from may well make you weaker.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 10, 2018 at 8:16 am

      Hi Liz,

      I think everyone has a different relationship with exercise and what works for one person could be very harmful for another – everyone has to do what works best for them physically, emotionally and mentally!

      Reply
  6. Monica says

    September 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Thank you!

    I’m in a strange place in my intuitive eating journey, but I guess you could say that for most of the time. I’ve always struggled with exercise. It always felt like something I had to do and I had to do things I didn’t enjoy if I really wanted to push myself and change my body. The thought of exercising without the goal of weight loss really kind of blows my mind.

    I feel my body craving movement sometimes, but the only thing I’m truly comfortable doing right now is walking or doing chores around the apartment. I’m sure I’ll move past this weird, apprehensive phase, but it’s still just strange to get myself to workout and tell myself it’s for feeling good and my for health, and not for losing weight.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 10, 2018 at 8:19 am

      In our culture it certainly is a radical way of thinking – doing exercise for ENJOYMENT!
      Walking and chores are great forms of movement – let yourself be where it needs to be 🙂

      Reply
  7. Anne says

    September 8, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    All such great suggestions! I personally have felt that filling my closet with clothes that fit has been such an essential component to body image healing.

    It’s been difficult because I had been in a place of working towards minimalism, trying to make very conscious decisions around purchasing new clothing, and had not viewed new clothing as something I should put my money towards often.

    As I allowed my body to settle into its natural size, I had to change my priorities. I had to decide that having clothes that fit my here and now body is important, and I will therefore have to spend more of my time and money on obtaining new clothes than I have the past few years. Being comfortable is something we all deserve! Many cities also have community clothing exchanges, which is a great opportunity to get rid of things that don’t serve you and find more comfort for free!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      September 10, 2018 at 8:21 am

      I think many of us can be apprehensive to spend $$ on clothing (or ourselves in general) but if its financially feasible it can be such an impactful form of self care and you DO DESERVE it!! Thanks for recommending the community clothing exchanges – that’s a great idea!

      Reply
    • Amber @ Bloom Nutrition Therapy says

      September 12, 2018 at 3:35 pm

      I agree with this. I think, too, I have noticed how much not wanting to spend money on a new wardrobe or items for ourselves is a theme that echoes an eating disorder. ED’s have a great sense of deprivation. “If I deprive myself of XYZ types of food then I’ll reach x weight.” If I sacrifice my time for exercising, then I’ll become this certain size I want to be.” “I won’t buy myself any clothing until I reach X size.” I think this theme is almost a personality characteristic that develops (or maybe is always there?) in individuals that struggle with ED’s. I think it’s a great exercise to counteract that at any opportunity.

      Reply
  8. Maddy says

    September 9, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    I love the idea of creating a list of people you admire and why! When i think about that list, none of the reasons are based off their body but rather how great of people they are and all they have to offer; so why put so much pressure and focus on my own body? It’s crazy how we notice all these things about ourselves yet when we look at others we see right past any of these insecurities.
    I love this whole post and am certainly going to put all of these ideas to work to improve my own body image <3

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. The Weekender 10/13 - Oats & Rows says:
    October 13, 2018 at 7:01 am

    […] to Balance Your Relationship with Food When You Love Food via Bucket List Tummy Actionable Steps You Can Take to Develop a Healthier Body Image via The Real Life RD How to Make Your Social Media Feed More Body Positive via The Foodie Dietitian […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

More On Lady Hormones

How Birth Control Methods Affect Your Hormones, Period and Fertility

What Your Cervical Fluid Can Tell You About Your Reproductive Health

women's reproductive health

Women’s Reproductive Health 101

I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

Postpartum Hormones: what’s happening in your body and how to care for yourself

* indicates required

Categories

Get in Touch!

Follow Me!

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

I talk a lot about moving, eating, and living intuitively so you can be well hormonally and live a fulfilling life in line with your values

The Real Life RD on Pinterest

  • Instagram Find: Viktoria's Awe-Inspiring Kids Rooms Filled With Pretty Design - NordicDesign
  • 10 X DE MOOISTE KINDERKAMERS VAN INSTAGRAM OKTOBER
  • Wooden Rainbow Lamp Wooden night light Kids room decoration | Etsy
  • This cute little walk-in wardrobe for kids is too cute of an idea! Loving the white tones with a pop of teal drawers
Follow Me on Pinterest
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!
I am not a craft mom. My version of crafts is baki I am not a craft mom. My version of crafts is baking because 1) my toddler actually engages with it and 2) we have tasty things to eat in the end.  Wanna know how long crafts last in our house? Approximately 23 seconds. Maybe 51 on a good day. So we just stopped crafting a long time ago and instead started baking.  And when I need my toddler to stay in one place, I turn on the faucet. I am still utterly amazed at how long water can entertain a small human. And it’s FREE. 🙌🏻 well, mostly..  Send me all your favorite baking recipes because we are on a roll over here 👩🏻‍🍳
Just left my mom vacation. 💆🏻‍♀️ I do Just left my mom vacation. 💆🏻‍♀️  I don’t know what this says about me. Anybody else find the dentist weirdly relaxing? For the most part, I love being with my two tiny humans all day, but BLESS does it feel good to lay in a chair for 60 minutes with my eyes closed and do nothing except hold my mouth open.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻 two babies are asleep at the same time in their beds (and not on me) for the FIRST TIME IN 7657 DAYS and dear lord I could cry tears of relief straight into this latte and bowl of chocolate chips bc I woke up this morning exhausted and weary and told Nick I didn’t want to parent today 🤣 Not even calling this self care. It’s sanity right now. And even if it lasts 5 minutes it will be 5 minutes of freaking glory. p.s. yes that brick is crooked bc v uneven floors are part of the charmed package of this old house
Learning over and over again in this season that f Learning over and over again in this season that feels unsettled and chaotic and longgggggg that sometimes, you just need the viewpoint of a toddler to remind you that the seemingly insignificant things & moments really are....straight up magical. And that yes, these mundane days are packed full of goodness & beauty if I keep my eyes fixed on what actually matters.
Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, Spent two hours at Lowe’s this morning and wow, wowww 🤯 Asked at least six people where to find something and their opinion on all the options bc holy decision fatigue. Nursed my newborn on the floor of the paint aisle. And BLESS my new contractor friend Matt I found in the lumber section that pushed my cart around and helped me avoid the mistake of buying exterior wood for some DIY bathroom shelves.
.
I’m giving all our bathrooms a DIY makeover and I couldn’t be more of a rookie. So shoutout to all my Lowe’s buddies and YouTube 😜 You’re making this happen.
We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t We are now officially homeowners. WUT? We didn’t plan to close on a house 10 weeks after having a baby, but here we are. And we are so, so grateful.  And I’m also terrified. We’ve moved three times and lived in three different states since we got married three years ago. After six years spent living in New York City and Boston, moving back to Charlottesville was really, really hard for me. I cried a lot those first six months because my heart ached for the northeast and for city life. I wanted to pack up and go back to Boston ASAP. It felt so different and so quiet here and at times, very lonely. Even though it felt like the next right step, I second guessed our decision A LOT.
.
But here we are 10 months later ready to continue investing in this neighborhood we’ve come to love. And this community of people that have become so dear. Ten months later and it feels so, so right. And although committing to settling down here for a good bit feels really scary to me, it also brings so much peace to know we aren’t moving again anytime soon. We are here to plant and grow. And raise our babies in this house as we make it a home. It’s also really fun to have one of your best friends be your realtor. We love you @kelli.teter.nesting 🤗
.
Now, to see if we make it out of this kitchen renovation all in one piece 🤪
my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in my go-to breakfast these days is two fried eggs in ghee with sautéed spinach (also in ghee) and an english muffin with more ghee + some sort of jam on half for that sweet & savory combo. we discovered these local english muffins (from The Bread Basket) and they are doughy and delicious and we are obsessed.
.
I’ve found that I need a solid source of protein and lots of fat for breakfast to keep me full while breastfeeding this time around vs with Cal, I was so into big bowls of pb & chocolate chip banana oatmeal. just goes to show our bodies know what they need and change cravings accordingly. also, just a psa: go pick up the maple butter from @traderjoes bc it is bonkers 🤤 and lastly, shout out to my husband bc a lot of mornings he is making this bfast for me while I nurse & try to pull myself out of bed - don’t for a moment think I’ve got it together 🤪
I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brai I’ve had many thoughts rolling around in my brain of if/how to use this platform in a way that aligns with how I want to live my life. I’m finding it tricky to discern that when 90% of my use on this app is for professional purposes. But I’m not sure if even professionally, it makes sense for me. Because I feel more aligned with what matters to me when I’m not regularly present here.  I’m not really sure what things will look like moving forward, but for right now I’m here to share with you that I somehow found some spare minutes between newborn & toddler life to write a post with some semi-coherent thoughts on life lately. 🤪 You can head there by clicking the link in my profile.
I’ve been completely disconnected from social me I’ve been completely disconnected from social media and that’s been vital for me during this tender postpartum period of transitioning from a mama of 1 to 2. But today, I’m bopping on briefly to share how Teddy entered this wild world with you - if you’re into a lengthy, detailed birth story, the link in my profile will lead you to the blog post 💙
Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our famil Theodore “Teddy” Lars Nohling joined our family at 12:48am on Wednesday after a quick and swift labor & birth at home 💙 Thank you Father for another healthy baby boy & your abundant, tender love for us. What an undeserved gift.
Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his Very grateful to be carrying another baby past his due date, but also....LET’S GO DUDE. Still over here eating dates (check out the @ebbirth article on the research showing dates can help ripen (aka soften) your cervix, reduce the need for medical intervention in labor and can overall, improve birth outcomes) drinking red raspberry leaf tea and sleeping as much as possible with a 19 month old running around. And also trying to survive July in VA without public pools or splash pads bc it is BLAZIN HERE (and I’m a wuss with the heat 🤪)

Copyright © 2021 · The Real RD· Blog Design by Little Blue Deer


Terms and Conditions | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy