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Body Image, Eating Disorders, Food Freedom, Intuitive Eating

If It Looks Like A Diet, It’s A Diet

October 25, 2017 By Robyn 61 Comments

If it looks like a diet and reads like a diet….it’s a diet.

We may have started to move past blatantly obvious diet language and programs like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig and NutriSystem, but our culture is still wildly obsessed with dieting. Now…we’ve moved towards wrapping diets up in trendy language like protocols, solutions, IIFYM (if it fits in your macros), non-toxic lifestyle, clean eating, ketogenic and on and on and on.

If a particular way of eating involves black and white rules…it’s a DIET. Any way of eating that forces you to rely mainly on external regulations versus listening to your bodies internal cues is a diet. No matter what way you spin it….it’s a diet.

If it looks like a diet and reads like a diet....it's a diet. | The Real Life RD

I recognize there are beneficial nutrition guidelines that can have a profound therapeutic effect when applied to certain disease states and conditions. There is a time and a place to gently apply those principles in clinical practice. But sleep and stress also have significant impact on our health. So while yes, nutrition can dramatically improve someone’s health…the psychological distress that comes with following xyz protocol to heal your xyz condition has the potential to be very distressing. And it’s also a false promise.

Because health is more than a meal plan. And by now, the negative impact of stress our on our overall and long term health is well established in the research. I’m actually giving a talk on this very topic tonight and you can read more about that here if you’re interested in joining the conversation. BUT my point is….a protocol or solution or any other set of food rules is a diet. Some gentle nutritional guidance that take into consideration all other aspects of a person’s health is very different than a laundry list of rules.

I think it can be really easy to get swept up into the culturally sexy language of diet culture. I’m human too! We have to be skeptical and very protective of the media we consume and the conversations we engage in. If not, before long you’re found drinking the kool aid too. And you might not even realize you’re knee deep in diet culture until you take a step back.

diet culture

Because often, controlling food is a way to feel in control of your life. But in reality…controlling your food and exercise actually creates more chaos.  Or it’s media who has the control. Like the perfectly thin and flawless looking girl on Instagram. Or the magazine that is convincing you that you do this blah blah blah thing you will have this blah blah blah life. Or perhaps it’s the scale that fully dictates your mood and worth for the day. Outside influences do not control your life. YOU control your life.

You control your life.

Controlling food in an attempt to control your life will end in bad place. I’ve been there. Many other women have too. I never felt more in control of my life when I was controlling my food and exercise habits. If anything, I felt more crazed and anxious and distracted.

But controlling the environment I put myself in and the media I consume and the relationships I engage and invest in definitely makes me feel more in control of my life. Controlling those aspects of your life are worth pursuing. They make you less vulnerable to all the diet messages and societal pressures to look or be a certain way. And when you’re less vulnerable, you’re better able to ignore diet culture and instead choose things that help you live a better life.

I’d love to hear some ways you make yourself less vulnerable to diet culture. Share in the comments! And if you’re like…”Robyn…I feel totally influenced by diet culture right now.” share that too so we can help combat some of those messages affecting you. <3


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Filed Under: Body Image, Eating Disorders, Food Freedom, Intuitive Eating

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Comments

  1. Jessica says

    October 25, 2017 at 8:01 am

    Hi Robyn! I would love to sign up for the seminar you linked to in this post, but I’m not available tonight at 7pm to watch the seminar video. Will it be available to watch later on?

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 25, 2017 at 11:16 am

      Yes you can watch anytime!

      Reply
  2. Wendy says

    October 25, 2017 at 8:17 am

    Amen! Totally not trying to poke the bear here, but I feel like you’ve really come into your own anti-diet beliefs in the last year-year and a half. With that said, there was a time when you completed (and received s lot of criticism for completing) the Whole 30. Would you still defend that today? Would you do it again? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 25, 2017 at 11:15 am

      Love that you brought this up! At that time (almost 2 years ago, time flies!) I wasn’t in a diet mentality but I think I was swept up into the social aspect of that (a lot of friends were doing it as a fun New Years thing) I wasn’t triggered by doing it nor did I feel constrained to keep following it at all but I wouldn’t do it again (which I think I posted about as a follow up) As RDs were are in our own process too and two years later I have researched and learned SO MUCH more about IE and HAES and so I have matured in this philosophy so you see that journey reflected in the blog and in my practice too. Thanks for commenting and letting me share some thoughts 🙂 I hope it was helpful!

      Reply
  3. Kate says

    October 25, 2017 at 8:18 am

    Hi Robyn, I really enjoy your posts. You speak a lot about body acceptance and not attempting to obtain a desired body type or weight, which I’m all about. However, there are of course times where you may want to lose weight to get to your body’s natural size and where you feel good (perhaps after a weight gain due to stress, lack of sleep, difficult seasons of life. etc.). Can you address in a post or something how to view intentional weight loss without doing things like MyFitnessPal? Obviously, weight loss is obtained through some sort of calorie deficit, but I agree with you that any sort of “diet” is harmful. Any thoughts on normal, reasonable weight loss without the toxic culture of dieting? Thanks!

    Reply
    • Abigail T says

      October 25, 2017 at 12:33 pm

      I think she’s talked a bit about that in these posts: https://www.thereallife-rd.com/2017/04/happy-weight/, https://www.thereallife-rd.com/2017/05/finding-healthy-set-point/, and https://www.thereallife-rd.com/2017/09/mindful-movement-2/.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 3:47 pm

        Thank you for sharing those Abigail!

        Reply
    • Andrea says

      October 25, 2017 at 2:49 pm

      I’m wondering this too! Do you believe diets or food rules are never beneficial or appropriate? Even for obese individuals?

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 3:52 pm

        This is a great post idea Andrea! I do not believe food rules or diets are EVER appropriate. Because controlling food never made anyone healthier…tuning into one’s body and learning who to best care for yourself DOES lead to a healthier lifestyle. Obesity also is not a CAUSE of chronic disease — it can be associated but it doesn’t cause chronic disease. I hope that helps!

        Reply
    • Cora says

      October 25, 2017 at 5:51 pm

      Thank you for posting this comment Kate.
      Some of us do want to lose weight in a sustainable, non disordered way but I have yet to see any current, relevant, non commercial advice on how to achieve this. I understand that it has to be something that you are willing to do for the rest of your life and cannot be extreme or your body will revolt. I also know that it involves much more than eating 1200-1600 calories per day and exercising x per week. There is nothing I currently restrict but I am just consistently maintaining and it feels like I am spinning my wheels. I should add I am currently maintaining half of a 90 pound weight loss that was achieved over a number of years without the aid of a commercial diet so I know personally it can be done.
      I ask myself pretty much daily if I can just let this all consuming process of weight loss go as I do resent the time it takes away from fully living. Sadly I realize the answer is no when I look at a recent photo and think of my health in the future. I honestly do not believe I will be healthy at this weight for the rest of my life even if I am fortunate enough to be healthy currently. And besides health I don’t want to always be identified as a bigger girl so yes, vanity is a factor as well.
      I do believe that if I looked like/weighed the same as the majority of the current Haes advocates I would happily walk, no run away from dieting today.
      However, when you are 40-50 pounds above a weight that feels comfortable for you to totally enjoy life it is harder to fully embrace this philosiphy. Believe me I have tried!
      I would love to hear your thoughts on this Robin as like most things in life this is a very grey area.
      Looking forward to a thoughtful discussion on this.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 3:59 pm

        Cora I so hear you – and as a woman with relatively “thin privilege” I can understand how it can feel much easier to embrace HAES when you’re in a “socially acceptable” body. My heart goes out to you.

        I think a post on this would be really really great. Have you listened to some Food Psych podcasts by Christy Harrison? She has women from ALL bodies on her podcast and that might be very encouraging for you!

        Reply
    • Kaitlyn says

      October 25, 2017 at 6:24 pm

      Hi! I definitely don’t want to step on Robyn’s toes by answering, but I would HIGHLY recommend working with an RD who specializes/centers their practice around coaching clients through intuitive eating strategies :).

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 4:00 pm

        I think that can be a really good idea too – thank for gently suggesting Kaitlyn 🙂

        Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:07 pm

      Hi Kate! I think Abigail linked to some really helpful posts. I think it’s healthy to keep in mind that weight loss isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it helps you settle into your healthy set point – but that should never be the focus. Rather can you focus on taking care of yourself and developing healthy habits and that will allow your body to find it’s set point without focusing on weight at all. Does that make sense?

      Reply
  4. Hillary says

    October 25, 2017 at 8:59 am

    Ahhh, yes! I am working on a full recovery (I’ve been in that pseudo-recovery space for many, many years) and it is so hard to do in our world. I have one friend who is so sweet and self-aware, but also so consumed by diet culture. She is a fitness trainer and trying to get her body to look a certain way. She counts her macros and no longer under eats, but is only focused on “clean” eating and staying away from “processed crap,” convinced that she should be able to have that flat stomach and perfectly sculpted muscles if she does the right things. I try to take those conversations with a grain of salt and I try to be empathetic, but it is hard! She knows I am working on recovery and regaining my fertility, but I am sitting there like, “umm, I had Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and I am eating a delicious pumpkin muffin from the coffee shop, and I think croissants and bacon are amazing things….” I don’t want a life anymore that is dictated by how my body looks. I want a family and I want my sanity. I guess I don’t have any suggestions, but it’s nice knowing there are other women out there who are striving for the same thing: food, body and exercise freedom.

    Reply
    • Kylie McGraw says

      October 25, 2017 at 11:15 am

      I so agree with Hillary’s point…”I don’t want a life anymore that is dictated by how my body looks. I want a family and I want my sanity.” There’s so much more to life than dieting and diet culture is HARD to escape. There was a time when I was under eating, lost my period, and felt lethargic…and then there was a time when I was “recovered” and following “clean eating” but nothing feels as freeing to me as intuitive eating. I am only starting to learn how to really intuitively eat, but I have never thought less about food than I have now and that is such good feeling. There are times when I feel the same old guilt I used to feel about eating certain foods or skipping a workout, but I find that vocalizing these feelings makes me how much those things don’t matter to me in the grand scheme of things because I am really living my happiest, most balanced life.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 3:46 pm

        I can very much relate to your story Kylie <3
        Being able to call out those diet thoughts is so therapeutic - rooting for you!

        Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:09 pm

      It’s so hard because being on the non diet side is the minority but keep your mind saturated with non diet media and people and perhaps shed some light on that for you friend too – it could be just what she needs hear! And I love your outlook – when you look back on your life you don’t ever want to only remember food and your body size. Thinking of you in your recovery! <3

      Reply
  5. Katie says

    October 25, 2017 at 10:04 am

    Hi Robyn! I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented here before, despite being a loyal reader and fellow anti-diet dietitian. 🙂 I totally agree that our current culture makes it really, really challenging to sift through the food trends and diet lingo. As someone who has fell prey to dieting and restricting under a guise of health (i.e. ITFYM, food “allergies” etc. and a RD, I know it takes a lot of effort to ignore the endless assault of diet messages. For me, getting rid of all my health/fitness magazine subscriptions, being very mindful and intentional about what TV shows and movies I watch, and drastically reducing my social media participation and followers has helped TONS. After seeking ED treatment and stepping down, my husband and I actually relocated to the south east from California to be closer to family AND remove ourselves from an environment and culture that was really fixated on restrictive eating and physical appearance, extreme exercise etc. (at least that was our experience!). I know not everyone can move (or needs to relocate), but reevaluating the people you interact with and how you spend your time and possibly changing your surroundings can be really helpful. Living in the south where most people have no idea (or don’t care!) what an adaptogenic herb is is SO refreshing! Ha! OK! Longest comment ever! Thanks for being a voice for truly balanced living and advocating for women to stand up against diet culture. Lots of respect! –Katie

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:15 pm

      Katie thank you so much for sharing!! Oh how I can relate to the obsessive culture of the northeast – especially Manhattan! You are so brave for moving and knowing what you needed to do. I couldn’t agree more with choosing WHAT you engage in and the environment you cultivate. Thanks for sharing!

      Reply
  6. Trista says

    October 25, 2017 at 10:07 am

    I’ve had to work REALLY hard to cultivate a space for myself where I feel less vulnerable to diet culture… but I have to agree that the hard work that I’ve put into controlling my environment in order to protect myself has been far more “results-oriented”/productive/LIFE GIVING than any attempt I’ve ever made at controlling my food. As a type 1 diabetic, it can be easy to slip sometimes, because I have to pay attention to what I eat and actually count carbs and regulate my blood sugar/insulin. I haven’t been able to completely ditch the numbers, but where I can, I have- such as the scale, counting calories, etc. I have deleted Instagram off of my phone and I only check it periodically from my computer when I want some positive reinforcement from people like Robyn, Kylie, or a handful of other non-diet dieticians. While it started out as me trying to eliminate my consumption of diet talk, it’s really turned into me being much more selective overall of the voices that I let into my own head. I’ve found it’s so much easier to tune into my own body/mind/needs/desires when I have SPACE for just my voice. Instagram especially was such a negative trigger for me that made it difficult for me to feel gratitude for my own life. Being a lot less present there has led me to be much more present in my REAL LIFE which feels amazing and supports my overall intentions of intuitive living… I’ve become a more vivid version of myself. And to think this all started from not dieting! I will say that it felt weird at first to stop reading endless articles about what to eat/how to exercise, etc… but now I have to say that when I do stumble across a headline of “Eat these 5 foods to lose weight” I can easily laugh and just move on because I know I don’t need that information clouding my intuition.

    This was long… but I love this post!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:12 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing all of that Trista! I think its’ just what many women need to hear – that consuming diet messages and media will only leave us confused, chasing a never ending goal and forgetful of the good life we have right in front of us. Thanks for sharing <3

      Reply
  7. Susan says

    October 25, 2017 at 11:55 am

    Listening to the Food Psych and Love Food podcasts really helps reinforce my thoughts about not dieting and trying to accept life in a slightly larger body than I had when deeply entrenched in disordered eating.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      LOVE Food Psych for those very reasons – there is such body diversity on those podcasts!

      Reply
  8. Leigh says

    October 25, 2017 at 12:56 pm

    Really loving this post – I am currently on my own food adventure journey and everyone in my office is doing Whole 30. I know it’s unrealistic for me to follow that diet, so I don’t even bother joining in the chat. I still get stressed with friend HHs and events (like Halloween) but try to make sure I have a good base of food before the night kicks off and I am tempted to make not so great choices. Balance is so important, which is something I see throughout many of your posts. Would love to get your thoughts though on saying no to alcohol when out w/ friends, but still trying to be social. I feel like when I say no thanks, ppl think I am pregnant (age 30), or i just tell them I’m trying to lose weight. But in reality I am just trying to be the best version of me and eating those foods are triggers for ED behaviors and feeling gluttonous.

    Anyways love you posts – and feel like I resonate a lot with your posts!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:50 pm

      Hi Leigh! I think saying “no” to alcohol in social settings will always more often than not cause comments, but what I think that is rooted in is that person’s own insecurities with their drinking. And that’s okay if they are insecure or questioning their drinking choices – I’ve totally been the one thinking “should I not be drinking if she isn’t drinking?” and everyone doesn’t want to feel alone. I would encourage you to simply say “I don’t feel like drinking tonight” and let it be that. I think if you don’t make it a big deal..others won’t either. Of course all that to say, make sure that not wanting to drink if from a healthy motivation (which it sounds like it is for you) and not “I don’t want a glass of wine because it has xyz calories or sugar” I hope that helps!!

      Reply
  9. Jennifer says

    October 25, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    I love your posts Robin!! I wasted way too many years trying to control my weight with food & exercise. It’s crazy when you step back & realize how normal disordered relationships with food & exercise are!! It is EVERYWHERE disguised as “healthy”. I have a daughter who is the most intuitive eater I know & it kills me to worry that she’ll fall into the trap too. For all of those that feel they need to control food & exercise due to fear of weight gain, our bodies are super smart!! When you eat what you most want when you are actually hungry & stop when you’ve had enough your body becomes the size it was meant to be. And the best part is you don’t have to try & torture yourself with food & exercise rules. You become totally free which is such a happier way to live!!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm

      It is so rampant unfortunately! Thank you for sharing all that truth Jennifer!

      Reply
  10. Amber @ Bloom Nutrition Therapy says

    October 25, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    YES! This single concept is really what helped me get out of diet culture. I have always been a person that prides myself on not “buying into” things just because the mass society was, but I had never thought of my fitness “lifestyle” as being part of that. It was magazines that initially set off my disordered eating long ago, and definitely fitness bloggers/instagramers that was perpetuating it later on in life. Learning that I could completely decide to NOT engage with these types of messages was very freeing for me. Now, I seem to be so much better about picking up on when I hear “diet talk” and diet mentality in all different avenues. It has become so much easier for me to now think, “I’m so glad I don’t have to feel like I have to strive for this [body/diet].” More than anything, I feel sorry for those that do…

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      YES! We don’t have to be sponges! And being on the other side I hope creates a lot of empathy and that can help others!

      Reply
  11. Emily at The We Files says

    October 25, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    This is so relatable right now. I’ve been trying to do IE for three years now. Unfortunately, my therapist feels like my ED could have been missed and therefore not addressed. No wonder it’s felt so difficult!

    I do notice an improvement when I am super selective about the time I spend and who I follow on social media. I am also vocal about my experiences where I am. For example, I’m in yoga teacher training right now and dieting topics come up. It’s important for me to gentle mention how common disordered eating is and how it shows up in the yoga studio. And hopefully I can make an impact on the importance of yoga studios that embrace body diversity and health at every size.

    If anyone has any leads on how to work through these things affordably and through distance, I’d love any recommendations. Trying to find a way through since my current therapist doesn’t specialize in disordered eating and doesn’t know how best to help. I really appreciate your posts, Robyn and all the comments here!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:55 pm

      It can get messy at times if an ED is intertwined with IE…I’m so sorry that was missed for so long <3

      How encouraging to hear that you are be vocal about diet culture in yoga studios - that is far more common in studios than we think and I think we need WAY more yoga teachers with a HAES lens.

      There are many RDs that do telehealth but not many take insurance unfortunately - but maybe other commenters know of some, please share!

      Reply
  12. Ashley V says

    October 25, 2017 at 5:11 pm

    I feel like when I read your posts and the comments I have found my people. I spent many years yo-yo dieting and about three years with an eating disorder. I feel mostly recovered now, but I’m not immune to society’s pressure. However, I have taken a hard look at my social media habits, so that is a pretty good amount of control. It helps me so that when I hear diet talk around me (I work only with women, so boy do I hear it), I can *usually* keep it from sinking in and affecting me. Selecting only positive social media is probably the most significant thing I have done to help heal.

    Reply
    • emily vardy says

      October 26, 2017 at 6:08 am

      YES! I agree with/relate to all this so much. It’s such a relief from the constant diet-talk of society to come here and read this kind of viewpoint. After having an eating disorder for ears and years, this kinda stuff – Robyn’s blog and her reader’s = helps a lot to keep me in the right kind of headspace.

      Reply
      • Robyn says

        October 26, 2017 at 4:01 pm

        <3 <3 I hope this space always remains a refuge full of life, encouragement and community

        Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 3:56 pm

      Love that you feel among your people here Ashley <3 That is my hope!
      I totally agree that cleaning out you social media is so pivotal!

      Reply
  13. Cora says

    October 25, 2017 at 8:54 pm

    Hi Robyn,
    I spent a considerable amount of time submitting what I thought was a thoughtful comment to this post this afternoon. When I last checked it was awaiting moderation. Currently I don’t see it in the comments.
    Besides the fact that I spelled your name incorrectly (Sorry!) was there something wrong with the comment?
    Just wanted to continue the dialouge Kate started. I sincerely hope none of it was problematic.
    I value your insights and truly enjoy everything you post so am hoping my comment wasn’t inappropriate as that certainly wasn’t my intention.
    Enjoy your evening!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 25, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      So sorry Cora – I am approving comments now so it’s here! Thank YOU for contributing to the conversation! 🙂

      Reply
  14. Savannah says

    October 26, 2017 at 12:36 am

    Love this post as always! This may be kind of weird response but I always set my computer background to be something that’s really large and expansive, like a picture I’ve taken hiking or a picture of the universe. Background pictures of my friends and family are always great, but sometimes I accidentally play the comparison game. Whenever I’m feeling stressed out, I look at the pictures that I choose for backgrounds and think about my life and body from the prospective of the universe and all it’s grandness- little things like tests, quizzes, donuts, pounds, ounces, diet culture, are so insignificant compared to the wonder of the world. In the big picture of someone’s life, your weight means nothing, but in the big picture of the universe it’s absolutely nothing. Diet culture can only take up as much space in my head as I let it.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:01 pm

      I love this idea! Yes yes YES. We have a choice and we get to choose what we engage our minds in.

      Reply
  15. Michelle Barry says

    October 26, 2017 at 7:08 am

    Sometimes I feel like I can’t escape the diet culture and messages. Like for instance, sugar has been deominzied so much lately and it started to take its toll on me. Sometimes I freak out if I have a lot of fruit in one day or if something else I’m eating has sugar in it. With all these detoxes I’ve seen, even being led by RDs I can feel trapped and confused. I know restriction is wrong and listening to my body is right but it’s hard when we live in a society telling us that our bodies are wrong.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:02 pm

      Michelle I hear you in being so confused – especially when nutrition experts, the RDs, are peddling diets and fear mongering around foods. I would highly encourage you to put some boundaries around what kind of media you consume. That could be a helpful place to begin. Thinking of you! <3

      Reply
  16. Katherine Hannemann says

    October 26, 2017 at 7:35 am

    When diet talk arises, I try to take a mindful approach – acknowledge its existence, then move on in a non-judgemental way so that I don’t unproductively dwell on it or let it affect me.

    Of course, that’s the ideal… 😉 like an ongoing mindfulness practice, it takes a huge amount of practice not to be sucked in to the diet culture all around us.

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:03 pm

      Acknowledging it and calling it out for what it is can help immensely in disengaging – so helpful, thanks for sharing Katherine!

      Reply
  17. Julianne says

    October 26, 2017 at 9:28 am

    I think it is so incredibly hard to be on a college campus where thinness is equated with desirability..I feel like women always being in close quarters just breeds comparison and competition, which feeds diet culture. It’s definitely so tough, but reading your words and other anti-diet material/podcasts always helps!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      October 26, 2017 at 4:04 pm

      College was SO HARD for me too Julianne. Keep your mind saturated in the non diet world and maybe share it with your friends when conversations arise? Keep your head and heart focused <3

      Reply
  18. Robyn says

    October 26, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    Hi Kate! I think Abigail linked to some really helpful posts. I think it’s healthy to keep in mind that weight loss isn’t necessarily a bad thing if it helps you settle into your healthy set point – but that should never be the focus. Rather can you focus on taking care of yourself and developing healthy habits and that will allow your body to find it’s set point without focusing on weight at all. Does that make sense?

    Reply
  19. Megan @ A Continual Feast Blog says

    October 26, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Agreeed- I’m so tired of hearing disordered eating normalized by talking about it as a protocol or clean eating. Love that you keep bringing awareness to this!

    Reply
  20. Mary says

    October 26, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    This post came at a really great time! I have been struggling with a 10 lb weight gain over the past 2 years. I am constantly looking for a new diet plan that will help me lose the weight or at least avoid any more weight gain. It’s like when I try to restrict myself, I just end up craving and eating more in the evening. I should mention, I struggled with an eating disorder in my teens. I am 50 now and still struggle. Any suggestions on how to let it go??

    Reply
  21. Emily Swanson says

    October 26, 2017 at 10:11 pm

    Learning that I need to take responsibility for the media I consume and asking the Lord to help me discern what I can handle and what I don’t need to be looking at has been such a good lesson this past year especially, and I’m thankful you posted this.

    Reply
  22. Katie @ Peace Love & Oats says

    October 27, 2017 at 8:00 am

    I’ve had basically every possible eating disorder or type of disordered eating throughout the past 18 years and I’ve finally decided (thanks to you and a few other bloggers/dieticians) to try and let go of all food rules and view food as neutral. It’s been a struggle for sure and I have my tough body-image moments but it’s so relaxing to not spend ALL my time thinking about food! I try to avoid anyone on social media who talks about dieting and listen to podcasts from people who promote the idea of no food rules. It makes a big difference!

    Reply
  23. Erin says

    October 27, 2017 at 9:28 am

    As a fellow RD, it is SO HARD to stay out of diet culture. I work in primary care/outpatient counseling so nearly every patient who comes in is pursuing weight loss to some degree. I have moved more toward an IE/HAES approach over the last year, and there are some who are open to the concepts, and others who feel offended that I might even suggest that they’re weight is ok. So I don’t want to push people away, because my job is to help them lose weight, but it feels so wrong to prescribe things I cannot fully commit to (portion sizes, calorie needs, etc.). So instead I just write about whatever I want on my blog and this gives me the outlet until I figure out what I want to do with my life 🙂

    Reply
  24. Caroline says

    October 27, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    I LIVE IN BOSTON! 🙂 Born and raised… you will LOVE it here. So excited for you!!

    Reply
  25. Katherine Herbison says

    October 29, 2017 at 8:41 am

    Yes!!!! I completely agree with everything you are saying! This also makes me think about the book Intuitive Eating, which I’m going through now. We need to reject diet mentality to truly eat intuitively. This is so hard to do in our culture, but it’s possible. I have pretty much stopped reading fitness magazines because they are full of these pseudo diets.

    Reply
  26. Britney says

    October 29, 2017 at 7:02 pm

    Hi Robyn! I enjoy reading your blogs. They’re so refreshing and encouraging especially when it comes to healthy living.

    I haven’t been doing IE for a long time, but I do like the idea of the freedom it gives when food no longer is good or bad. I am working on viewing all foods like that and not letting what I eat constantly take over my thoughts (there are so many other important things to focus on). I do try to honor what my body is craving or eating when I’m hungry even if it seems like I should be full already.

    I know IE is a process and takes time. I want to fuel my body and honor it, but sometimes I think I can easily distort IE’s intentions and turn it into diet. A lot of the foods I see you post are foods made with whole grain flours or organic coconut oil, etc. Those aren’t things I grew up eating and see as normal staples in my pantry. My question is how do you find sound nutrition advice in a world saturated in diet mentality or “this is better than that so you should cook with that” mentality? How do I make my diet balanced without turning into a diet?

    Thanks for your help!

    Reply
  27. Nicole @ Laughing My Abs Off says

    October 30, 2017 at 5:54 pm

    Yes yes YES to this post! I feel like it’s so so rare nowadays to find someone who truly is a normal eater, with not a hint of diet mentality. It’s shocking how normalized dieting has become. I resonated so much with the idea of finding peace in controlling your environment and your relationships. For me, I stopped obsessing over food when I started to live more intuitively, living in the moment instead of always planning ahead. I just sort of realized that life is a lot more exciting when you say yes to different spontaneous opportunities or to that slice of pie from Grey Dog at 11pm with your two best girlfriends. It’s called living. <3

    Reply
  28. Courtney says

    November 13, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    For me, it has been so much more of a mental thing that I ever imagined. When I hear people talk about diets or see it somewhere, I have to do some self talk: “I would rather just enjoy my food than worry about calories.” “I know that if I tried that diet, it would make me so crazy.” “I want to be more focused on real things that matter in life than every bite of food I have.” “I wonder if that bikini model/super skinny girl/person with 6 pack abs is even happy.” IE is SO SO FREEING!!!

    Reply
    • Robyn says

      November 15, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      yes yes yes YES. “That does not and will never work for me” is one I like too 🙂

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Friday Favorites #27 says:
    October 27, 2017 at 5:01 am

    […] If it sounds like a diet, it’s a diet via the Real Life RD <– Love Robyn’s point that anything that externally dictates or governs what we eat or what we do is a diet. […]

    Reply
  2. The Weekender 10/28 - Oats & Rows says:
    October 28, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    […] If It Looks Like a Diet…It Is a Diet via The Real Life RD Healthy is Always Changing via Delicious Knowledge (guest post by Robyn) 3 Tips to Integrate Meditation into Your Daily Life via In It 4 The Long Run One Question to Ask Yourself Before All Food and Exercise Decisions via Rachael Hartley Nutrition Diets in Disguise via Imma Eat That […]

    Reply
  3. Weekend Reads: Cooking Through Recovery and More! - Kati Mora, MS, RD says:
    February 9, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    […] If It Looks Like a Diet, It’s a Diet The Real Life RD (and Nurse Practitioner), Robyn, does a lovely job defining what a diet can be – even when its not so obvious to tell – and providing sound advice on how to approach food instead. Read more…  […]

    Reply

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A non-diet dietitian and nurse practitioner helping women find peace with food, accept their natural body size and heal from hormonal issues and period problems.

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I have yet to experience postpartum myself, but I've had many clients and readers that have been through that season of life. Or perhaps you are currently living through the postpartum period. Every woman's body is different, therefore every woman's experience after giving birth will be different. What works for one woman, might not work for the next. While one woman might go through postpartum and adjust to newborn life quiet seamlessly, another woman might find it much more difficult. She might need the support of medication, therapy, extra help and many other things. One way is not better than the other - they are simply two different ways of navigating the postpartum period. I hope this post helps you better care for yourself, whatever that means for you. There's no right or wrong way to care for yourself as a mom or your new baby.

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A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years o A little way I’m learning to enjoy these years of getting to spend so much time with my kids: aka another way I’m discovering some pockets of peace so my heart & mind & soul don’t crumble under the reality of dependent & emotionally dysregulated tiny humans.  About once a week we go somewhere for baked goods. We drive or walk, buy something buttery & then find a beautiful, relatively quiet outdoor spot where the boys can romp and I can sit and think my thoughts while I watch them play. This past week we were found ourselves at the Wool Factory where the boys threw rocks & whatever else off the bridge while I ate 90% of this almond 🥐 from @coucourachou that will blow your mind. Boys ate the other 10% bc they were busy playing and didn’t ask for more quickly enough 😜  I’m finding *for me* playgrounds have a time & place but they aren’t where I enjoy motherhood & my two toddlers the most. Baked goods & a pretty outdoor spot without high drops my 15 month old could launch himself off of…I’m here for it.
I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the I brought this bag of snacks along when I took the boys to hike out at one of our favorite spots last week and when I ripped it open I was regretting my choice to share them with my kids. @baresnacks randomly sent me a box of snacks and I usually eat free food we receive or give it to a friend/neighbor and move on. But I felt it my duty to tell you about these bc they are THAT GOOD. I’m not getting paid and this isn’t sponsored - I was just shocked at how tasty these were and felt you needed to know. We ate them with some buttery roasted nuts and the combo was 👌🏻 but they are good just on their own.  The boys climbed rocks and swam in the reservoir - leave it to my almost 3 year old to want to strip down naked and fully submerge himself in chilly water on a sixty degree morning. “Mama can I get super nakey?” Sure baby. Sure. This is your childhood.
It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of It’s a hard sell to get me to accept an offer of extended alone time away from the babies to just be. And that isn’t something that’s best for me, it’s an area I gotta grow in. So this afternoon when Nick pushed me out the door and was like - get out of here plzzzz - I walked to my favorite cafe and ordered a thick pastrami sandwich and sat there for a good LONG while before taking a long, peaceful walk in the rain to wrap up the afternoon. Note to self: stop being such a control freak and go be by yourself sometimes.
a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face a girlfriend brought me a 🍪 the size of my face from @mariebettecafe this morning when she came to get her toddler who played with us all morning and it is v good. even better when paired with an iced latte 😍
#AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing a #AlignPartner I left off a few weeks ago sharing about how taking @alignprobiotic regularly has improved my digestive regularity.  And I’m still taking them! I’ve permanently added Align 24/7 Digestive Support* into the roundup of supplements I take before bed (prenatal, vitamin D, choline & DHA - all which help keep me healthy while breastfeeding) so I can keep seeing the benefits.  Just because you see benefits, doesn’t mean you should stop taking your probiotic. Keep taking Align daily (under the supervision and recommendation of your health care provider of course) to keep seeing the benefits!  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - one of my favorite parts of Align probiotics is that they don’t need refrigeration AND they come in a convenient little blister pack that has the days labeled. It’s the little things people! #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoo I realized it was going to be a long, hot afternoon (91 and muggy in MAY 🤯) when a toddler nap was refused and a baby nap was cut wildly short ....so my tired mom brain pulled out two plastic storage bins, filled them up with soap & hose water and striped ‘em down naked in the yard. Two hours later, it was almost time for an early dinner and I had magically been able to sit for most of that time and we already had baths checked off the list. 👍🏻 I’m archiving this idea for my future self, hope it helps another tired mama out.
#AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about #AlignPartner I left off a month ago sharing about getting better at doing the basics to care for myself which included taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic regularly.  Probiotics take time to work so I wanted to give it a full month to see the full effects of @alignprobiotic. So here are my honest thoughts: it took a few weeks to notice any differences, but near the end of the month I did notice some changes in my digestive balance - even while traveling! I’m not someone who experiences occasional gas, bloating or abdominal discomfort frequently enough to notice a difference, so I don’t feel like I can comment on how well Align works for those benefits.  All in all though, taking @alignprobiotic was a positive experience and I really appreciated how the capsules don’t need to be stored in the fridge, making it convenient to take them with me anywhere #MyAlignGuutJourney #guthealth  *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Where we will spend a good majority of our summer. Because the swampy VA summer has already begun (it’s in the low 90s today 🥵 lord help) and creeks are our retreat - not only from the heat but also from the noisy world. I need this just (if not more) than they do! We’ll be at the splash pads and pools too, but the quietness of the creek...my mental health is so about it. And it’s hours of play for them! Win win.  A couple things to note: this scene also included a few toddler reminders on finding another direction to throw rocks instead of at his brother - so not all is serene 🤪 and also, yes I am now that mom who buys the same clothing for both kids bc it keeps things simple & i think i kinda like it too 🤷🏻‍♀️
Things I love about midwifery among many: the appo Things I love about midwifery among many: the appointments, no matter how long, feel so unhurried. 
Just walked in from an appointment with my midwife because I was due for a Pap test + an overall wellness visit. My last pap was during my first trimester with Cal which feels like a jillion years ago, but it’s only actually been three years. Life changes so fast! Pre-baby life feels like a whole other life.  I’m wayyyy overdue for a visit to my PCP bc I’ve been under OBGYN or midwifery care for the majority of the past three years while having babies, but I am pretty good with keeping up with my paps. It seems women often think they need pap and/or HPV testing way more frequently than they do (and providers sometimes perform these tests more frequently than necessary - remember more testing doesn’t always mean better outcomes!)  So if you need it, here’s a quick little reminder on this chilly spring Friday afternoon on how often you need this testing (these are the recommendations from ACOG)  Women aged 21–29 years should have a Pap test alone every 3 years. HPV testing is not recommended.  Women aged 30–65 years should have a Pap test and an HPV test (aka co-testing) every 5 years (preferred). It also is acceptable to have a Pap test alone every 3 years.  If you get abnormal results, this testing frequency could change - but for healthy women with normal results, you actually don’t need testing as frequently as you might think. Which is great news for those of you who hate the speculum.  Ok, off to finish up some things on the to-do list (including cleaning this kitchen) during nap time and then come 5 o’clock, crack an IPA with our neighbors 🍻
#AlignPartner Over the past seven months since bec #AlignPartner Over the past seven months since becoming a mom of two, caring for myself has gotten shoved to the back burner. And it's been a challenge to make it a priority. My routine-resistant personality has upsides and downsides when it comes to motherhood. So I'm starting small this year with a consistent bedtime routine that includes taking my supplements and @alignprobiotic and hoping as that becomes consistent, my mornings will naturally shift too.  In short my bedtime currently goes like this….jammies & face care when putting the babies to bed. Before I go to bed (anytime between 9pm and 12am...) I’ll pump, take my supplements and fill my water. Then I go upstairs and brush my teeth. And then get in bed. The kicker: 70% of the time I find myself finishing up tasks on my phone IN BED. I hate this habit.  Back to supplements. This is something I have been able to stick with. On top of fish oil, my prenatal, choline and vitamin D, I recently added @AlignProbiotic 24/7 Digestive Support*§ to see if it helps with abdominal discomfort and regularity because when I don’t drink coffee or am traveling that can get thrown off.  I’ll be taking it every day for the next 28 days since it takes TIME for our bodies to adjust to probiotics - and I'll be taking you guys along with me as I share my honest thoughts. Many people think if they don’t see changes within the first 7-10 days then the probiotic isn’t working, but that’s not the case. I’m giving myself more than just a week or two and instead a full month to see the full benefits. I’ll keep you posted over the next month. Check out my stories to learn more! #MyAlignGutJourney #guthealth
 
*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care f We had an AFTERNOON today. Toddler didn’t care for a nap. Putting baby down was harder than I wanted it to be. Miraculously, I had a moment of clarity as I was covered in tiny humans and decided I wasn’t doing the nap battle thing a on 60 degree, gorgeous, sunny spring day 🙅🏻‍♀️ so I piled both babies into the car half naked, opened the sun roof, put on white noise for them and an audio book for me and drank a kombucha as I drove a meal to a postpartum mama. Thirty five minutes later we had a sleeping baby and a toddler who at least had a rest. Baby transferred without waking HALLELUJAH and although my toddler didn’t nap today (lord help) at least we got soaked in breezy sunshine 😎🤘🏻💆🏻‍♀️
We veered from our usual Friday night homemade piz We veered from our usual Friday night homemade pizza (minus the dough, we leave that to @albemarlebakingco) because we are eating pizza tomorrow with some friends - instead I called my mom and asked her how she makes her chicken fingers and we fried up a big ole batch of chicken nugs 🙌🏻🤤 along with a sheet pan full of sweet potato fries and a simple arugula salad dressed with parmesean, olive oil and s&p. Oh and my moms honey mustard recipe for dipping. It’s SO DANG GOOD.  Over the past 6ish months we’ve been practicing (and practicing and practicing bc it doesn’t come naturally) unplugging from technology and slowing down and resting and just being for one day a week. Some call it Shabbat. Some call it Sabbath. Maybe you call it something different. All I know is IT IS SO GOOD FOR MY WEARY SOUL and the day I look forward to ALL WEEK. Sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. Nothing but rest. For us that means hiking (or something outside) and napping and reading and being with friends and eating really good food. And drinking some really good wine or craft beer. Sometimes whiskey. 😛  And because I know I’ll get asked about the chicken finger recipe and also because it’s too good not to share and Momma Coale said I could, here ya go:  Cut chicken breast into thin strips or small pieces (I prefer nug size bc the breading to chicken ratio is perfection). Salt and pepper those babies really well. Then dredge them in all purpose flour, then egg, then panko - just like you would bread anything else. Then fry them up in a light oil - I use avocado oil because that’s our everyday oil. You could also use canola or peanut oil. Just fill a pan with an inch or so of oil on medium high heat. They only take 2-3 minutes per side. You can always temp them to make sure they are at least 165 degrees F to really make sure they are done. Dunk in all the sauces and enjoy!  Happy weekend!

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